Difference between revisions of "Muscle bra"

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{{taxpayermoney}}
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>


{{quote|OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin.|Chris}}


[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|Happy Chris in a muscle bra and with [[PS3|life upgrade]]]]
[[Image:Cwcbraorig.JPG|thumb|Unhappy Chris in a classic (read: his [[Barb|mom]]'s) bra]]
'''Muscle bra''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for the [[Wikipedia:sports bra|sports bra]] that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] is wearing on his [[obesity|manboobs]].


The muscle bra, also known as '''the Muscle Bra of Fail''', first appeared in [[October 2009]] in the leaked e-mail accompanied by photos. His usually bouncy moobs soon became less noticeable in subsequent videos.


Later the same month, Chris appealed to others to wear a muscle bra too:


{{quote|I highly recommend this to every dude who goes around shirtless: wear a muscle bra. Because nobody, and I mean nobody wants to see your dog-gone ugly [[Wikipedia:Pectoralis major muscle|pecs]], they're so ugly and repulsive, ugh... creeps everybody out.|Chris<ref>[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]</ref>}}
==Chris and bras==
[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|left|Chris after converting his bra into a wearable [[Attraction Sign]]]]
[[File:Wantwoman.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]


Chris seems to find the sight of bare male chests extremely unappealing and even offensive. In the [[April 2010]] video message [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Men Should NEVER be Topless]] he strongly insisted all men should wear bras and said he would actually make it a [[law]]. It is likely he makes this claim in a shallow attempt to appear straighter than [[straight]].


Despite saying that other men's chests are ugly, he has [[Chris and hypocrisy|no problem]] depicting [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|himself]] [[:File:CWCFlex.jpg|shirtless]], ''without'' the bra, as in his ideal self-image his manboobs are non-existent and thus need no such support.


In the real world, though, Chris presumably finds his muscle bra to be a necessity, given his [[Chris and health|unusually large breasts]]. Due to his [[Chris and art|inability]] to differentiate differences in the anatomy of other human beings, Chris may see it as necessary for other males to cover up as well - or, more likely, he simply wants to rationalize the fact that he needs one because of his big breasts by encouraging people who do not need one to wear one as well, thus hiding the actual reason for him wearing his fashionable sports bra.


Chris clearly liked wearing a muscle bra so much that the same month [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|he gave us a better look in a video]]. One might assume that the clean white bra here is a different one from the pale gray one in the photos, implying that Chris has bought multiple bras - this was confirmed when he told [[Kacey]] that he threw away each bra after it accumulated three days' worth of 'tard sweat, because he didn't think that bras were washable.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> We already know from the below email that Chris bought one set of sports bras in a three-pack, and due to his notorious cheapness we have no reason to think he did not do the same with the second set of bras. Chris also reveals in the video in question that he wears bras with a band size of 42. His cup size is unknown at this time.


[[File:Ima42Bust.jpg|thumb|Massive.]]


In [[June 2010]] Chris went to [[Fridays After Five]], where he continued to carry out his campaign against exposed manboobs among the general public by wearing his muscle bra to the event. It seems that Chris has also found another use for muscle bras, demonstrated by vandalizing his bra with a marker pen and converting it into an [[attraction sign]]. Whereas most normal people would perhaps draw on a T-shirt to make their point, Chris has devised a seemingly superior method of [[Love Quest|making his]]. That's right: for a woman to have read his statement of intent to engage in a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she'd have to have stared at one of the more disturbing outward pieces of evidence that he ''just doesn't understand how those relationships work'', which may or may not be a poetic microcosm of his entire fucking life since puberty.


Chris may have actually had a fetish for wearing women's underwear longer than we think. Likely, the fetish began when [[Blanca]] made him dress in his [[mother]]'s undergarments. For a period, he seems to have struggled with his urges — one image, drawn around the [[Ivy]] [[Saga]], inexplicably shows [[Punchy Sonichu]] wearing a bra — and since he did not buy his sports bra until later in the year, we can only conclude that he was wrestling with his desire to steal his mother's underwear to support his manboobs.
{{clear}}


==The bra e-mail==
The following e-mail was leaked in October 2009, along with a series of illustrative photos. The identity of the recipient has never been publicly revealed.


(omitted stuff)...
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>


{{quotebox|[[Stress]] causes Memory Loss sometimes. At least I undid the hacker who got into my [[YouTube]].<br><br>


Also, I did my shopping today; I haven't been able to draw or color today yet, but I will set some time tonight. I got my copy of [[Guitar Hero|G.H.5]], my new 3-in-one-printer, and I found the sports bras at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]]; 3-packs for $10 a pack. In leiu of going into the fitting room, I asked the nearby female employee to measure my [[Wikipedia:Brassiere measurement|bust size]]; I'm a 43. So I got a 3-set of 42; I've been wearing one for try... It is sooo comfortable, and my manboobs do not bounce as easily; I jumped a few times to see. OMG, WOW! This material feel so, so, so good on my skin. It's like a [[sex toys|Guitly Pleasure]] or something. <br><br>


Anyway, I got my exercise in today. I also went to [[McDonald's|McD]], [[Wikipedia:Toys "R" Us|Toys 'R' Us]], [[Wikipedia:Sheetz|Sheetz]], [[Wikipedia:Food Lion|Food Lion]] and [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] for applications; NO PAPER APPLICATIONS! OMG, it really [[Family Guy|ground my gears]] to realize that. Although at Target, I was not totally surprised; I went straight to their computer station and filled in their application online. But EVERYONE IS LIKE GOING DIGITAL WITH NO PAPER TRAIL; It Sucks! This is even WORSE Than that CRAPPY PowerWeb at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]].


Yes, you have read correctly, I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT DAMN, [[Sonichu's News Dash#Chris on PowerWeb ("Why PowerWeb STINKS on Ice")|STUPID POWERWEB!]]<ref>{{CWCipedia link|TwoMarys#Mary_Lee_Walsh|TwoMarys on CWCipedia}} Chris seems to hate the PowerWeb because it's a pet project of [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and he was too dumb to understand how to use it.</ref> Even in it's pre-released Over Advertising, which was TOTALLY UNECCESSARY. Every time I was FORCED into using that Damn System, I was always reluctant, and I had to use my Student ID No., which I HAD NEVER CARED TO MEMORIZE; I only glanced at a few numbers at a time upon entry, and "In One Ear And Out The Other" with that soiled piece of what would have been valuable information. You said I was the first person you met to Hate Kenneth; well, I'm probably the first person you met who Always Loathed the PowerWeb since its PreBirth.<br><br>


<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[stress sigh|sigh]]*


But I digress... and this bra feels sooo good.


Something else, I'll forward you an e-mail I sent to [[Kacey]] last night after our conversation to best start another concern of mine.<br><br>


I'll TTYL,<br>
Stay Safe,<br>
Chris.
}}


==Gallery==
===E-mail images===
<center><gallery>
Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-little-teapot.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-creepy-stare.jpg
Image:Sports-bra-with-crossed-arm.jpg
</gallery></center>


===Animated gifs===
[[Image:127193894817.gif]]
[[Image:127193932971.gif]]
[[Image:127193992465.gif]]
[[Image:127193999352.gif]]


==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Gaybian]]
*[[Tomgirl Pictures]] and the subsequent [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|Tomgirl revelations]]


==References==
<references/>


==External links==
 
*[http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5645734 Chris's bras at Wal-Mart]
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
*[http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090727052138AAL0i56 Chris's inspiring others to revolutionize men's fashion!!111]
 
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Revision as of 00:29, 28 September 2011

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