CWCki:Operation Mailbag

PROTIP: I'm just kinda throwing them up there whenever. Love [ Clyde ]. Check the mailbags to see if it was posted!

Post your e-mails to Chris here. Please see CWCki talk:Operation Mailbag for Rules of Engagement and details. --Champthom 00:31, 29 November 2009 (CET)

From: Davros Skaledthal (fromskarowlove@aol.co.uk) Greetings, Mister Chandler. My name is Davros Skaledthal. I am a geneticist, and I have a few questions after reading the latest issue of Sonichu. I deeply enjoy your comic, and especially the portrayal of Cwcville as a utopia. Every man should have a place to call his own, don't you agree? First off, though, may I say how inspiring it is that you manage to make a high-quality page nearly every day. It must be incredibly taxing on you, but you seem to be coping admirably. Now, as to the questions. 1. You say that there is a 'gay gene' that can be cured. How exactly does this cure work, and which chromosome is said gay gene attached to? 2. As you have said in a previous mail post, you understand the basics of how evolution works. I'm not expecting you to discuss it at doctorate level of course, but as you know, a gene that is not used or is recessive does not transfer to the next generation. How then is the gay gene transmitted? Obviously every gay man or woman has two heterosexual parents, therefore the gay gene is not represented in either of them. 3. If the gay gene exists and can be cured, would it also be possible to cure, say, left-handedness? Just as a rhetorical question, you understand. But on that topic, what other genetic defects would you cure if you had a serum? Perhaps we could compare notes sometime. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and I know this is asking rather much from you, so I apologize in advance, but would you please elaborate on each of these questions with at least one full sentence? If not, I completely understand. Genius must do as genius must. Thank you for your time, Mister Chandler. Eagerly awaiting your response, Davros Skaledthal

Number two should be rewritten; recessive genes definitely can be passed to the next generation, it just takes a copy from each parent for them to be expressed. Unless you just wanted Christ to show off his stupidity, in which case, carry on.
-Yeah, I want him to prove how little he really knows.

• My 2 cents - maybe split the Davros letter in two? a) It's long, and Chris has a short attention span; b) the second part is about Teh Gays, he will become stressed, and that may cause him not to answer the first part as well, or throw the letter in the Rejected bin. What do you think? --GokuGetEm 09:58, 22 December 2009 (CET)
  • Good point. I'll do that. Torchwood 19:26, 22 December 2009 (CET)

I've been thinking about either hitting him on his "I have magic powers" stance or his blatant Mary Sue solutions to everything in his comic. Which should I go for? Both would be quite juicy, just in different ways. EnsignDisposable 07:34, 21 December 2009 (CET) Better idea. Gotta hit him on "I'm enough of a hero."

From: Jacob N. (jacob_n333@yahoo.com) Good day, Chris! In mailbag 20 you responded to a question as to why you don't use your Wild Talents to fight crime by saying, essentially, that you've already done enough as a crimefighter and hero. I reflected on that statement, then reflected on your biography, and it came to my realization that there were three deeply wrong things about that statement. Firstly, no, no human being has ever done "enough" heroic deeds. True heroes are never content with what they have done save perhaps as they are dying and can do no more forever. Even then I can bet you they'd all love a few extra years to devote to the cause of good--or even a few seconds. If you fancy yourself a hero, saying "haven't I done enough?" is a great way to prove you're not. Secondly, I can't really think of any outright heroic things you've done. Mostly you've just gotten in trouble with the police and the dean of student services. You did help with McIntyre park, but that's not exactly an act of heroism. It's nice, sure, but if you are, as you claim to be, a Wild Talent, you could have the potential to do so very much more than that. Last: do you really think you have superhuman abilities? Why are you content with only using them selfishly against people who get in your way? Internet trolls aren't supervillains, they're just people who like annoying other people on the Internet. They're insignificant at best. If you really do have the power to lay debilitating curses on people, and all you've done so far is curse trolls and managers and policemen who get in your way, you're taking a phenomenally rare gift and squandering it utterly. I may be a major in English, but I am a minor in Parapsychology, the study of the arcane, and I can assure you that no Wild Talent with a gift such as yours should waste it. Even if there are limits to your power, any hero worth his salt would do his best to circumvent them. If you believe you have a Wild Talent, and you consider yourself a hero, it is your duty as a human being to stand up to corruption, social injustice, crime, and other ills that beset mankind. That is my position, at least, and it saddens my heart to hear someone with the potential for greatness waste it. It would be like finding Excalibur and only using it to warn ornery kids off of your lawn. I have no capital-T Talents; I have only my words. If my words can make the world greater, then I shall use my words to do so! If you have genuine supernatural ability, it would be an injustice to squander it. I beseech you to reconsider your position on the matter. Yours in the business of mankind, Jacob Nathaniel Lights-in-the-Sky, Bachelor of English

"As if I haven't acted enough of a Hero or crime-fighter already?"

From: Vlad Tepes (emperorface@gmail.net) Hello Christian Chandler. I am the next in line to rule my father's country of New Sacea, which shares borders with South America, he passed away last week and I am to be crowned Emperor soon. Unfortantely he was a victim of war us our government has a law stating the Emperor has to take place in any fights as a soldier. In our country Sonichu is heavily praised as one of the greatest works of fiction ever and a printed version is avalible in almost every New Sacean library. You are highly intelligent and by our scales even wiser than our greatest scholar, William The Sage. Perhaps, the same could be said of all Geinuses. We have made great technologic advances, much wealth, and many beatiful servant women, thus we are prepared to offer you a grand reward if you can help our people solve the following dilemma: We are a God-fearing nation that hates those damned homos with all our hearts. These abominations unto God are so evil, they steal men's souls and make them their slaves! Unfortauntely, our empire does not have access to the means of curing the "Homo Gene", so all we can do is prevent their wrong lifestyle from spreading. Thus we execute them on sight. However, our scholars are perplexed by the "Bi Gene" which gives one an interest in both genders, or in simplier terms they like both men AND women. You see... I was very unfortunate to become contaminated with the foul curse of bisexualness myself! It was not by my hand that I was given that evil gene of bisexualness: it was brought by some homos, who wished to pay me tribute... Oh how I rue that cruel day!.. If bisexuals do indeed count as homos I must take my own life and let my straight sister rule in my place. For the good of my Holy Motherland! But enough talk, Christian. Seeing as you are the smartest man in our kingdom's recorded history, maybe you can help me? Please tell me, Christian: should bisexuals be considered homos? Or are they just fine? What are they? A miserable little pile of evil genes? Or do they belong in this world? Am I a homo? Or a normal person? Please, Christian, save our people by giving us your great knowledge of sexuality and genetics. With much hope, Emperor Vlad Tepes The 3rd

From: Almaz Von Adamite (trollcrusha58@skynet.egg) Hey Chris, you're a brilliant writer, a fan of disgaea, and have great taste, thus I feel you can help answer these questions. 1. What is your favorite of the three Disgaea titles, Disgaea:Afternoon Of Darkness, Disgaea 2:Dark Hero Days, or Disgaea 3:Absence Of Justice. Which has the best plot, and best main character? 2. Do you have any tips about playing Disgaea 3? What troops are the best to send it battle. My favorites are Champloo, Raspberyl, Adell, Marjoly, Roy Mustang, The Prinnies, and The Succubi Monsters 3. What strategies do you feel are most effective against the final boss of Disgaea 3? He is quite tough and none of my friends can beat him. and finally, what do you think would make Disgaea 4 shine above its predecessors. Your Fan, Almaz from Shortpump, Virginia.

I made two emails, one to question his opinions on bisexuals and one to find out just how bad of a strategist. In addition this will test to see if he even beat the game as he purchased 65 dollars of DLC for it, which would have been completely wasted had he not beaten it as you can only access the non-canon/dlc character during the end game. Also, to further test his stupidity, Almaz Von Adamite is a main character in Disgaea and Roy Mustang is a character from Fullmetal Alchemist who has never appeared in a Disgaea title. Seeing as Disgaea is a Strategy Game, I have my doubts as to whether or not Chris has even played the damn thing, let alone beat it. It amuses me greatly knowing he has less common sense than a turkey shoving things up his ass to make him look "too fat" for the hunters to kill.