Difference between revisions of "Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)"

Revision as of 23:40, 23 November 2009

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FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU 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FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
-In the [[Sonichu_(comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]] [[Chris]] has portrayed himself as more than a [[fat]] [[Autistic|autistic]] slob who refuses to work. Within the comic universe Chris is the mayor of [[CWCville]], "father" of hero [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and beloved by all ''despite'' failing almost as much as in real-life.
-Despite the sub-episodes ostensibly featuring Real Chris, he can't seem to keep from evoking superpowers and plot contrivances.
-==In the comic==
-[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|left|A typical comic depiction of Chris - a tall, broad shouldered, handsome young man. Compare to the real hunched, fatty, double chinned Chris.]]
-[[Image:Cwcanatomy.JPG|thumb|Anatomy analysis of the character]]
-Chris depicts himself as mayor of his fictional town [[CWCville]]. Unlike real life, Comic Chris is popular, good-looking, and surrounded by women (in reality, [[trolls]], [[gal-pals]] who [[Megan|hate him]], or fictional creations like [[Allison Amber]] who also hate him.) He also has the ability to change himself into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] and use all the powers of the Electric Hedgehog [[Pokemon]] at will (thus rendering Sonichu and company completely irrelevant).
-Comic Chris is noble, brave, intelligent, and surrounded by cartoon characters who fawn over him. In the comic, real-life relics like his [[medallion]] aren't handicaps, they're magical objects which can make his [[China|dreams come true]]. He even has a job as mayor of CWCville, and a [[Allison Amber|doting secretary]] on whom he dumps all his [[Semen|dirty work,]] which she takes with a smile.
-In other words, comic Chris is who real Chris really wants to be.
-It should be noted that [[Sammy]] is actually a more accurate depiction of Chris in the comic.
-==[[Sonichu 0]]==
-Being the narcissistic tool he is, Chris felt it reasonable to add himself into his own comic. Right from ''[[Sonichu 0]]'' Chris is depicted on the front cover commanding Sonichu to "Zap to the extreme!", and within the comic itself, congratulating Sonichu for his victory. At this point, not only is Chris drawing himself semi-realistically, but he is still a minor character. ''Sonichu 0'' is one of the rare issues actually based around Sonichu.
-==[[Sonichu 1]]==
-''Sonichu 1'' is Chris's lowest key outing to date, merely depicting himself commenting on the actions of the characters, and, bizarrely, his own drawing ability.
-==[[Sonichu 2]]==
-Having again drawn himself on the cover, by ''Sonichu 2'' Chris has turned himself into a fully-fledged main character. Going insane with his own self-absorbtion, Chris depicts himself as the fufillment of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] foretold by his [[Ancient_leader_of_the_Cherokee_Clan|ancestors]]. It is in this issue that he first gains his ability to turn into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].
-==[[Sonichu 3]]==
-After featuring heavily in the previous comic, Chris takes a backseat to the [[Chaotic Combo]]. Sadly, he still can't resist adding his head onto the first page.
-==[[Sonichu 4]]==
-The legendary comic made entirely up of sub-episodes about Chris's life. Things get a little confusing because not only are the electric hedgehog Pokemon depicted as existing in Real Chris's universe, but he also has super-powers with which to battle the [[Jerkops]]. Again, Chris is depicting himself with selfless friends and powers he wished he actually had, but doesn't. And all the powers and Pokemon in the world still don't stop him getting beaten by the Jerkops or being trolled by [[Hanna]]. This comic also marks the introduction of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], the sister he wishes he had in real life (for [[china|obvious]] reasons).
-==[[Sonichu 5]]==
-[[Image:Chris5.jpg|thumb|150px|Manga Chris]]
-Real Chris, distraught at discovering [[Sarah Hammer]] is getting married, depicts himself as a noble gentleman who wants what's best for her and allows her to get married. In reality Sarah didn't give a flying toss what Chris thought about her marriage, which renders his acceptance of the wedding null and void. An interpretation could be made that Chris is battling the two versions of himself - the side who wants Sarah all to himself (Real Chris, played by [[Wes Iseli]]) and the side who wants Sarah to be happy (Comic Chris). It probably helped that by this point Chris had transferred his feelings for Sarah over to [[Megan]], who makes her debut appearance as [[Sailor Megtune]], allowing him to make the noble choice a lot easier than it would have otherwise been.
-This comic also debuts the shitty manga look (thanks a fucking lot, Megan) that would come to characterize the comic over the next few years.
-By the next episode, things start getting confused. Yes, Chris is mayor of [[CWCville]] and can order around public servants, but he still can't find a [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend]]. Despite this, he continues to depict himself as a noble warrior of [[China|love]], protecting all Virginians from [[Mary Lee Walsh|those who wish to take it away]].
-==[[Sonichu 6]]==
-''Sonichu 6'' is the first issue to go into detail about how Comic Chris manages to manage running a city while sitting around getting [[Hanna|trolled]]. Opening with Real Chris discovering that his beloved dog [[Patti Chandler]] can talk, the action soon switches to Comic Chris as they enter CWCville. Chris introduces [[Patti-Chan]] to [[Allison Amber]], a Hollywood starlet who gave up her promising career to run CWCville while Chris was sitting in his [[Attraction location|attraction locations]]. This character is indicative of how Chris portrays himself as so charismatic that young women drop everything to do his bidding. He is the "Big Cheese". Either way, fictional Allison Amber has a boyfriend, so Chris loses out in his own comic yet again.
-Comic Chris spends the rest of the comic bemoaning his loneliness, and making veiled hints that [[Megan]] is his true [[sweetheart]].
-==[[Sonichu 7]]==
-[[Image:Chris7.jpg|thumb|Chris as depicted in ''Sonichu 7'']]
-[[Image:Chrisandsammy.jpg|thumb|left|Chris and Sammy together]]
-The meglomania begins on the cover, which is decorated with tiny pictures of the important moments of Chris's life, such as the time he held a basketball or tricked [[Megan]] into being photographed with him.
-The comic itself revolves around Comic Chris and Megan, who is depicted as struggling with her feelings for Chris (in reality, she hated him). The comic at this point was being used as a tool to attract Megan, so much of the extraneous action is centered on the dating life of the [[Sonichu (species)|sonichus]] as a (barely) veiled hint as to what direction their friendship should take. The courting of Megan is also why it's the most Manga-centric issue to date, as well as the most inconsistent when it comes to Chris's depictions of himself, as he manages to draw himself differently in every frame.
-This issue is also notable because it introduces [[Sammy]], a younger version of Comic Chris who is a lot more similar to Real Chris, in that he watches TV on [[filmation Ghostbusters|"ghost command"]], is [[Obesity|massively overweight]], and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shits his pants]].
-Halfway through making the comic Chris was being trolled relentlessly, so he responded by trapping himself in the time void, and thus removing himself from the direct action.
-{{Sonichu}}
-[[Category:Characters]]
-[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Difference between revisions of "Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)"

Revision as of 23:40, 23 November 2009

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