User talk:ArizonaBay

Emergency jerkop

For one hour, since I have an important phonecall, I am making you an emergency temporary jerkop in case anyone vandalizes CWCki in the next hour. --Champthom 05:57, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

Chris-Chan: Antichrist?

1. He comes from among ten kings in the restored Roman Empire; his authority will have similarities to the ancient Babylonians, Persians, and Greeks---Chris's "Cherokian ancestor", while mostly just a retarded big-headed guy in made up clothing, has more in common with the people of those cultures than with Native Americans. This first one's a stretch though.

2. He will subdue three kings [Daniel 7:8, 24]

Probably three times where he uses the curse-ye-ha-me-ha on major trolls and, from his point of view, it seems to work. Again, a stretch, because he only THINKS it works when actually it doesn't do shit.

Also, there are three comics on the Asperpedia: Asperchu, Simonchu, and Moon Pals.

3. He is different from the other kings [Daniel 7:24]

Popular trolls come in three flavors: normal, cool, and weird. Chris is retarded. Retarded trolls do not become popular.

4. He will rise from obscurity…a “little horn” [Daniel 7:8]

Disturbingly similar to Chris. The little horn is probably his little bent dick.

5. He will speak boastfully [Daniel 7:8; Rev 13:5]

Again, disturbingly accurate.

6. He will blaspheme God, [Daniel 7:25; 11:36; Rev 13:5] slandering His Name, dwelling place, and departed Christians and Old Testament saints [Rev 13:6]

Name: "Godjesus" Dwelling Place: "MY LOVE QUEST IS FINALLY OVER" (with the gates of Heaven in the background) Departed Christians and Old Testament Saints: Something about Angelica or Leviticus or some shit. I'm too lazy to do actual research.

7. He will oppress the saints and be successful for 3 ½ years [Daniel 7:25; Rev 13:7]

This is the least likely to come true. It was probably a mistranslation, as Chris will never be successful at anything for more than 3 ½ seconds.

8. He will try to change the calendar, perhaps to define a new era, related to himself [Daniel 7:25]

Christian Love Day.

9. He will try to change the laws, perhaps to gain an advantage for his new kingdom and era [Dan 7:25]

No homos, no tobacky, no alchohol, (repealed) Chris is mayor and there are no mayoral elections, etc.

10. He will not be succeeded by another earthly ruler, but by Christ [Daniel 7:26-27]

Ultra Sonichu? Liquid? There's probably something good but I have no idea.

11. He will confirm a covenant with “many”, i.e. the Jewish people [Daniel 9:27] This covenant will likely involve the establishment of a Jewish Temple in Jerusalem [see Dan 9:27; Matt 24:15]

I can't see Chris traveling that far and setting up a temple. Watch for something eerily similar to this in his comics in the future, I guess.

12. He will put an end to Jewish sacrifice and offerings after 3 ½ years and will set up an abomination to God in the Temple [Daniel 9:27, Matthew 24:15]

Ultra Sonichu is an abomination to God in a church. That's close enough for me.

13. He will not answer to a higher earthly authority; “He will do as he pleases”[Daniel 11:36]

No explanation needed.

14. He will show no regard for the religion of his ancestors [Daniel 11:37]

"Cherokian Clan". He also does this with Christianity, of course.

15. He will not believe in any god at all [except for himself] [Daniel 11:37]

No explanation needed.

16. He will have "no regard for the desire of women": He will either be asexual or homosexual [Dan 11:37]

Ahahahhahahahhahahha.

17. He will claim to be greater than any god [Daniel 11:37; 2 Thess 2:4]

He's probably said something like that. It's just a matter of tracking it down. If not, he's bound to say it eventually. He's already done the "director" thing.

18. He will claim to be God [2 Thessalonians 2:4]

He's more or less done that.

19. He will only honor a “god” of the military. His whole focus and attention will be on his military. He will conquer lands and distribute them [Daniel 11:39-44]

This sounds like something that would happen in his comics.

20. His arrival on the world scene will be accompanied by miracles, signs and wonders [2 Thess 2:9]

Godbear = sign, Liquid = miracle, wonders = really well-drawn fancomics or something

21. Either he, or his companion [The False Prophet], will claim to be Christ [Matt 24:21-28]

His companion, Ultra Sonichu, the False Prophet, has made a Christ-like gesture in a church.

22. He will claim that Jesus did not come in the flesh, or that Jesus did not rise bodily from the grave [2 John 7]. He will deny that Jesus is the Messiah [I John 2:22]

Seriously guys, let's send him a mailbag asking him what he believes about those specific biblical details. He's sure to contradict the original story at one point because he doesn't know shit about anything and doesn't bother to look it up.

23. He will be worshiped by many people [Rev. 13:8]

Unfortunately, that most likely means us.

24. He will hate a nation that initially will have some control over his kingdom, but he will destroy this nation [Rev 17:16-18]

Asperchu. How Chris is going to end up destroying it, I have no idea. If he does, we should fear for our lives, as such a thing could not happen through pure coincidence. (It might mean he destroys Asperchu in his comics, though.)

25. He will appear to survive a fatal injury [Rev. 13:3; 17:8]

The doctors said he would never learn to talk and stuff, so he would be somewhere between what he is now and a vegetable. So, he pretty much survived a fatal injury right there.

26. His name will be related to the number six hundred and sixty six—but not necessarily in an obvious fashion [Rev 13:17-18].

I'm not going to bother with this because 666 pisses me off.

27. He will be empowered by the devil himself [Rev. 13:2]

Curse-ye-ha-me-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!