Template:Quote of the now

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I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for reasons beyond my full understanding, because I always tried to be a good and nice person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my Sweetheart. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my family the best I can, and I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an autistic mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. And God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Chris's Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.


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