Difference between revisions of "Emily Date Conversation Transcript"

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
(Moving to more recognizable/searchable page)
Tag: New redirect
 
(241 intermediate revisions by 65 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
In March 2009, Chris went on his first, and only date ever with a troll called [[Emily]], and it went something like this:
#REDIRECT [[Date with Emily]]
 
=Transcript=
Inside, a multitude of voices echo around the cavernous mall. We hear our heroes' voices over the din of the shoppers.
 
==Setup (0:00 - 3:10)==
 
As the recording beings, we hear the technician, "Frosty" arming Emily's mic, cleverly disguised as a third nipple.
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Okay. lock it. Okay it-</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Are you wearing a thong? Is that a-</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' That better be fucking tight.</font> (Talking about the wire)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' It's tight.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' That might pop out while you're walking and it'll be like- </font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like-</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' A robotic vagina- *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like- *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Say "It's my vibrator"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughing*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' It's one of those things you see tapped to those- those hentai-</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Well the thing is Chris said in the script(?) he would squeal</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughing* UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, if he get's like way too close to me, I'm just gonna be like scoot my chair farther away</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (indistinct) I really like if... (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' *laughing* Maybe Barb will come</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Probably shouldn't leave the house anymore</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, if (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man continues indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' There are Barb candidates everywhere</font> (Talking about the free roaming hambeasts that populate the mall)
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Nononono but but in all probability there should be no Barb, if there is Barb I will shit myself</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're done.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' We're not showing up</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' *Mockingly* "You brought your Mommy?"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today"</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' That's it.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' And you can like, call him and be like "You owe me a dire apology and you're a jack off"</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No I'm going- I'm going to yell at him, and make him cry</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' and be like, "I'm going to live in Clyde's playboy mansion."</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I'm part of Clyde's playboy mansion</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' *Despondent* I'm the janitor</font>
<br>They all laugh
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, let's go see if he's there.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' NO! Cause it's- Cause he's- Cause I'm gona make an entrance like: ''HAIIII!''</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' No. he wants to meet in front of Chick-Fil-A, so..</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Figures... but the general idea would be you park near where you want to go</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Chuckles*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' (Speaks indistinctly)Did you see those (indistinct) where it kind of looks like a penis?</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Right here</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Oh *laughs*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' It's a fucking penis</font>
<br> A slight pause while something happens, presumably involving the penis shaped object
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Nope</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Disappointed*Oh</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:'''*Sigh*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' *Sigh*</font>
<Br> An uneasy silence falls.
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like Hamster Girl(indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Chuckles*</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl, right there</font>
<br>(To Pickle Man)<font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Is that the only one you can see working?</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (indistinct) over by Starbucks? You should (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Nonono she looks like Hamster Girl</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Don't she have no hair? oh she has a- (indistinct)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' No, she has hair. She has her hair back like this:</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' Oh yeah, I knew that</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I was gonna say, I donno, cause I guess she died her hair blond. Cause I remember seeing her in some ugly strange colored hair</font>
 
==Target Spotted (3:11-4:46)==
 
Suddenly, the festive mood changes to dread as Chris appears, in full stalker regalia.
 
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''' There he is!(Noticing Chris)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Panicking) Wut!</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''' In the jacket</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Panicking) omygod EJECT omygod!</font> (as the realization of what is about to happen sets in)
<br>Many voices here, possibly more than the four that were speaking in previously "In the jacket" "There he is" .ect
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  Are you ready?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah I'm ready. *Nervous laugh/cry* This is going to be my best acting moment ever.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, Don't like, look, cause she has to get down first.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#000099">'''Frosty:'''  He'll realize later, that's what it was.</font>
<br><font color="#FF6EC7">'''Camera Whore:''' I don't feel bad</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, but if he like, won't come around and-(interrupted) Huh? I don't have my phone.</font>
<br>There is a short silence as everyone is overcome by the aura of the approaching manchild
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' (Nervously, under her breath) Oh my God....</font>
<br>Another pause.
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' If this is going to goes all smoothly, I should get like...(trails off)</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Where do I sit?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Umm, there's some bitches like by the table... oh, oh, oh no.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' (inaudible)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Okay, there's some bitches like nearby...</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Umm, just sit and watch them, talk and eat, then go change or whatever.</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:''' Well, okay. I (indistict)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah...</font>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Pickle Man:'''  Okay. I (indistict)</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' *Takes a deep breath* Yeah.</font>
<br> Emily begins to slowly walk twards her impending date with destiny as she gives instructions to the Pickle Man
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' or just kind of walk around and see if you can see us.</font>
 
==The Date Begins (4:47-0:00)==
 
<br> Emily parts with the Pickle Man and advances on the table. The hesitation in her step is audible, but she marches on, straight into the lions den.
<br> At 5:21 Emily contacts the target.
 
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' ''Hi''...</font> (The words come out tinged with disgust, this wasn't the dramatic entrance she had hopped for minutes earlier)
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Are you Emily?</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Yeah, I'm Emily... So nice to meet you.</font>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Hi Emily this is mah father Rober</font>
<br><font color="#545454">'''Robert:''' (Cheerfully) Hello!</font>
<br><font color="#CD5555">'''Emily:''' Hello</font>
 
{{incomplete}}
 
 
 
 
 
=Links=
* [http://www1.evilshare.com/2d2ea8b4-6641-102c-8ebf-0007e90cfb90 The date] (audio recording)

Latest revision as of 20:13, 19 June 2022

Redirect to:

Retrieved from "http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Emily_Date_Conversation_Transcript&oldid=291275"