Emily Date Conversation Transcript
In March 2009, Chris went on his first, and only date ever, and it went something like this:
Transcript
Inside, a multitude of voices echo around the cavernous mall. We hear our heroes' voices over the din of the shoppers.
Frosty: Okay. lock it. Okay it-
Camera Whore: Are you wearing a tong? Is that a-
Emily: Yeah.
Camera Whore: That better be fucking tight. (Talking about the wire)
Emily: It's tight.
Camera Whore: That might pop out while you're walking and it'll be like-
Emily: I should be like-
Camera Whore: A robotic vagina- *laughing*
Emily: I should be like- *laughing*
Camera Whore: Say "It's my vibrator"
Emily: *laughing*
Camera Whore: It's one of those things you see tapped to those- those hentai-
Frosty: Well the thing is Chris said in the script(?) he would squeal
Emily: *laughing* UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF UNF
Emily: Okay, if he get's like way too close to me, I'm just gonna be like scoot my chair farther away
Camera Whore: (indistinct) I really like if... (indistinct)
Pickle Man: *laughing* Maybe Barb will come
Emily: Probably shouldn't leave the house anymore
Pickle Man: No, if (indistinct)
Emily: *laughs*
MPS: (Pickle Man continues indistinct)
Frosty: There are Barb candidates everywhere (Talking about the free roaming hambeasts that populate the mall)
Emily: Yeah.
Frosty: Nononono but but in all probability there should be no Barb, if there is Barb I will shit myself
Emily: If there is Barb, we're done.
Camera Whore: We're not showing up
Frosty: Yeah.
Emily: Yeah.
Frosty: *Mockingly* "You brought your Mommy?"
Emily: I should be like, "No put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today"
Frosty: Yeah.
Emily: That's it.
Camera Whore: And you can like, call him and be like "You owe me a dire apology and you're a jack off"
Emily: No I'm going- I'm going to yell at him, and make him cry
Frosty: Yeah.
Emily: and be like, "I'm going to live in Clyde's playboy mansion."
MPS: (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)
Emily: *laughs*
Camera Whore: I'm part of Clyde's playboy mansion
Emily: Yeah.
Camera Whore: *Despondent* I'm the janitor
(They all laugh)
Emily: Okay, let's go see if he's there.
Camera Whore: You go see if he's there
Emily: NO! Cause it's- Cause he's- Cause I'm gona make an entrance like: HAIIII!
Pickle Man: (Pickle Man speaks indistinctly)
Emily: No. he wants to meet in front of Chick Fillet, so..
Camera Whore: Figures..
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST!
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Chris: Okay.
Robert: Okay.
Links
- The date (audio recording)