User:MoarLurk

I'll just ramble here.

Oh, and I'm the guy whose letter caused Chris to describe the mildest nightmare ever.

I mean, seriously, how can Chris consider a nightmare where OTHER PEOPLE are suffering to be terrible?

I had a dream about Chris last night.

He stuck his hand (the one with the High School Ring on it) in front of the camera, and then dumped a bunch of pills into it.

Then the hand moved out of the scene and came back empty. I assume he was trying to kill himself on the internet.

That was odd.

I wonder if Chris really roars on the rare occasion he actually uses the goddamn toilet?

Theories

"Behold the power of the well-trusted dog!"

Hmmm. This is more than a line stolen from Excel Saga. I'm going to use it as evidence to support my theory that Chris "trusted" Patti with his deepest angst after school.

"I was shocked at first sight of it, but I calmed down after a while. It's the same, more or less, when I watch a horror movie and see those parts, but at least I have the knowledge that it's all Hollywood Magic."

What does he mean by this? Does he mean that Asperchu just features his characters in a movie, or is he claiming that he's disturbed by the fact that half the Combo just got slaughtered by Metal Asperchu?

I think I've stumbled onto why Chris is able to watch Saw but can't play Brutal Legend without turning on the censor and disabling the blood.

I've heard of people who freaked out the first time they died in Sonic or Mario or whatever. The reason? They thought that they'd actually killed their character. The Transformers movie, where Optimus died, came out when Chris was five. This is the age we all run into this issue, and Chris was no different. In his case, he screamed and locked himself in the closet because he thought Optimus was really dead forever and he'd never be on TV again. Chris probably recovered because Optimus has died three more times since then, but not in the right way.

For us, we learned how to tell fiction from reality. For Chris, he began to hope that the character could be brought back to life--by begging the creators of the series to let them "come back".

Now, when Chris writes Sonichu, he tries to remove everything he hates about normal fiction. And since he thinks we all share the same opinion as he does, he doesn't do anything to change it. He dumps spoilers left and right because he hates thinking that there is a possibility that the hero might actually go the way of Optimus.

He won't kill off Simonla because, well, aside from her being validation of Wild's heterosexuality, he thinks Wild is a real person. This is why Asperchu hurts him--someone draws his characters doing something, and he thinks that they're actually doing it.

I'll get back to this later.

Characters as Mary Sues

Sonichu isn't Chris's only Mary Sue.

Wild and Magi-chan fall into this category as well.

Sonichu, as we all know, is who Chris desires to be. Rosechu is who he wants to be his sweetheart. One of their daughters is obviously Crystal(Which one it is, I don't know).

Wild represents Chris's desire to be appreciated by his parents. Look at his backstory--he was raised by a female creature that weighs on average 220 pounds and a terrifying male bug monster with swords for arms.

His father is instantly disappointed when Wild is unable to perform attacks perfectly literally five seconds after he hatches. Wild cries like a bitch and runs to his mother. This tells me that Chris thinks Bob should expect less of him.

Eventually, ScytherBob is abducted, leaving Wild to be raised exclusively by Mama Venusaurlax. This makes me suspect that Chris thinks his life would be better if Bob didn't give him all of da stress.

However, Wild does something Chris doesn't. He's going to reconcile with his father, likely by performing the same attacks he was unable to perform properly at the start. This makes me think that if he makes Sonichu successful, Bob will respect him.

As for Magi-chan, Chris has always had a desire to have total control over everything. He frequently exclaims that he is not a mind-reader, something many with autism spectrum disorders wish they had so they could know exactly what someone means by something. He's lazy, and so he desires the ability to teleport. And most of all, Magi-chan can see the future. Chris hates suspense, as evidenced by his rampant carpet spoiler bombing. He'd probably also desire knowledge of exactly when he'll find his sweetheart.