User:MoarLurk/MoarRambles 2
Okay, page three.
OBSERVATIONS
Customization
We can assume the following about Chris--he wants to be recognized as "That guy who thought up the awesomest idea ever", but he doesn't want to do any work. The copyright made him happy because he was convinced that it meant that people would now line up to do his job for him. In short, he wants to be both a fan of and the creator of Sonichu--all the minimal work being a fan entails with all the maximum benefits of being the creator.
Hence why he always stuffs Sonichu onto everything he owns--he wants to pretend that he has a Sonichu-edition Pokewalker, or an Adult Chronicles PS3, or a Sonichu PSP--the list goes on. He did mention in a previous video that he expected the medal to be mass-produced one day--he's just pretending that that day has already come.
Flipnote
I'm going to go with the five posts he made ranting about trolls stalking him IRL.
Also, I've noticed that his Random Capitalization is simply a matter of preference--you'll notice that he'll actually type normally in some emails.
"You're signing my song. I was Internet Famous...HUGE MISTAKE!"
The words "HUGE MISTAKE" also turned up in his own self-biography when he described Comic Chris as a bad idea as well. By this, I assume he equates "HUGE MISTAKE" with "People on the internet made fun of me".
Right now, I have removed Most Everything about myself from the internet; now there is only FALSE info on me that THEY have crafted and spread to Bad-Rep me.
As Chris has attempted to state, he is trying to tell everyone to ignore everything that isn't on the pre-hacking CWCipedia, his OkCupid profile, and his youtube account. He knows that if he links someone to the CWCki, something will happen that causes them to hate him so he's trying to tell people to ignore it.
And worse, they've found me in R. Life to catch footage of me for their gross, uncool amusement.
This is the interesting part--Chris hates it when we track him in real life, and I understand why. He's always said things like "YOU DO NOT KNOW ME IRL, I AM A NICER PERSON"--a video where a troll monitors him being a creepy antisocial fat fuck IRL spits in the face of that claim. He understands, on a level, that the IRL videos are proof that the trolls have uncovered what he thought to be a perfect lie.
He wanted to be met in person so he can try to act contrary to our opinions--in other words, he wanted warning so he could be composed. The agent caught him with his guard down, and so to Chris his entire attempt to turn the trolls to his side one by one has failed.
I WANT TO GO BACK TO A NORMAL REAL LIFE OFF THE FRIGGIN' INTERNET!!! AND I WANT MY "REP" CLEAN OF THIER CRAP!
This confirms a theory. Chris was very disturbed by the incident with Snyder--not Snyder himself, because Chris has already convinced himself that Snyder is working for Greene County and hates him for being autistic. Rather, it was the woman he didn't know about calling him out on being a creepy fuck--that scared him more than anything Snyder or the police could have said.
The only way that woman could have known is if she'd checked the internet--and to Chris, his ego worked against him. Chris is convinced that he is world famous, therefore millions of people must google him every day and thus millions have seen the CWCki--y'know, the magic website that for some reason makes people hate him with a passion. So now he's terrified--even if he leaves the internet, the trolls are still there and can still destroy his reputation.
DO you have any advice to help me clear their crap off me?"
Just as Chris belives there to be a magic combination of words he can say to absolve himself of all blame, or to make a girl have sex with him, he is convinced that there are magic words that can circumvent the primary rule of the internet--there are no take-backs.
Sonichu as a fanfic
Something I've noticed about the early issues of Sonichu--heck, Chris's activity around 2005 or so.
As we all know, Chris tried to pitch Sonichu to a Sonic fan panel that he believed had some influence over the series as a whole. This was in either 2004 or 2005, both of which were years Chris attended.
My guess is this--Chris drew the first comic in 2004 and decided that he should try to actually pitch his ideas to the people he thought were Sega representatives at the convention in 2005. Hence why Sonichu 1 and 2 are a jumbled mess of plotlines--"He...uh...he could do a crossover with Sonic and...uh...FIGHT DA SAME VILLIANS...an...uh..I KUD BE A PROTAGONIST TOO...an...uh...oh hey, time to go to the convention, I sure hope they're impressed with all my hard work!".
The day after he got back from Mid-Atlantic 2005, he started work on Sonichu #3--he may have assumed that his comic didn't have enough diversity and thus Sonichu Babies happened. This explains why Sonichu #3 suddenly shifted away from Chris--he threw in Sonichu #2's non-plot out of pure lack of ideas and he was hoping to convince Sega his ideas were good ones.
Go back and read the first two issues--doesn't it seem like Chris is trying to pitch an idea to someone? After he gives up, it turns into a self-insert fic--yes, a fanfic within a fanfic. With Sonichu, Chris wants to be "That guy who thought it up", not "That guy who does the hard work to make things I like". Problem is, he can't find someone who he trusts to make comics for him and as a result he winds up writing self-insert fanfiction about his Sonic fanfiction.
Leaving the Internet Forever
I'll agree with Blazer--Chris does in fact wish it was 2005 again(as well as any other time in his life when he felt at "peace").
However, I think it's something more. Chris is mentally a child whose parents have never once said "No, you can't have that, you've lost the privilege" for an extended period of time. As a result, it comes as a nasty shock to him when other people with authority deprive him of privileges when he misbehaves due to his lack of experience.
When he was stuck raging at us, he wasn't thinking about what happened in the outside world--he felt the need to defend himself on the internet. Nowadays, thanks to Rocky, he's decided that he doesn't need to defend himself and is convinced that he's found the magic words that will stop the Internet from mocking him(or something similar).
Problem is, he's run into something we were never expecting him to--thanks to Rocky, of course. It has long been said that Chris is his own best troll and the best way to troll him would be for every single person who heard of him on the internet to cease contact with him on our end. Problem was, this was impossible due to the nature of both Anon and the Internet. Rocky, however, found a way to do this--she simply cut Chris off from his 4000 subscribers.
Now, Chris is on his own. There are no trolls pretending to be his girlfriend, no trolls trying to defile his honor(that he knows of). So now, he's bored--he'd gotten used to being trolled, and now that he's cut contact he feels bored. The PS3 can only take so much of his time before he gets bored, and then he goes out and starts trying to look for things to do--he's given up on the IRL Love Quest in favor of OkCupid(where the Internet, in a typical display of hypocrisy, can make an attraction sign for him).
So he can't stalk women at the mall, can't go to the Game Place, and can't rage at people on the internet. He's not interested in uploading Sonichu comics and therefore not interested in doing anything but playing on his PS3. That's just one thing, and he's bored as fuck. He's lonley--he wants to have a playmate(note his joy when one of the FAs came over on his birthday), but nobody will play with him. He used to have a PLACe he could play with people, but now the GAMe is up--he's banned from that store for life. Eternally barred from playing with other people. His "independence" has been skewered, and the only thing that kept him from realizing it was his feud with the internet(which Rocky has oh so kindly tried to stop).
Speaking of which, are we sure Rocky isn't an FA? Because she's the best troll yet.
Chris and Genre Savvyness
As his life was super-saturated with television, it's only understandable that Chris is genre savvy to an extent. TVTropes has many levels of savvyness, from "Did you just have sex in a horror movie" Genre Blind to "Go check for a body, it may look like they couldn't have possibly survived that but I want confirmation" Genre Savvy.
Chris, after some thought, is Genre Blind. He has only absorbed a limited range of media--specifically, kid's shows. This is the reason behind the beauty that is the Julie call--Max gave Chris a choice that was a popular theme in children's media. Chris understood it to an extent--it was just like that one time that one guy was given the choice between a woman and something really important to him. Chris remembered that the guy he saw on TV solved his problem by picking the girl and then it turned out that the girl's father/brother was just testing him and surprise surprise he gets to keep his stuff too.
This is where the genre-blindness comes in--Chris doesn't understand how this test of character works. To him, the guy who panics when given this choice is overreacting--after all, nobody ever actually follows through with this threat in anything Chris sees. All he knows is that when given the choice between "China" and "material object", picking "China" will cause him to win both. He doesn't understand why--just like how he doesn't understand exactly why stuffing food in his mouth makes him not feel hungry.
This also explains his freakouts over mutilating Sonees and Roseys--to him, they are subject to Infant Immortality. The younger a character is, the greater their chance of surviving a film. Chris has never seen a film that subverts this(though he may have seen FMA), so he assumes that the immortality is a simple fact. He's not just horrified on principle when he's bombed with Sonee porn--to him, we're breaking the rules of reality and nobody is punishing us.
Cera
We all know that within the comic, Cera has the least attention of Sonichu's children. I'll discern why.
First off, remember how the five of them sort out
Sonichu is both an idealized version of Chris and Chris's ideal father. Rosechu is both Chris's ideal woman and mother. Robbie is an idealized version of young Chris. Christine is both an idealized female version of young Chris as well as being Crystal. Cera is just how Chris wants to remember Sarah Hammer.
Notice something odd about her? She's just a memory. Everyone else in the family is an ideal being of a sort (Robbie being a longshot), something that resides in the future. Memories live in the past--they've happened, Chris acknowledges that they exist, and that's it. She's just a background fixture in Chris's dual fantasies.
Do you remember when your parents ever tried to give you good dreams by talking about an ideal world, where everything that was wrong was right, where all your dead pets were alive and all your enemies were your friends and how you had everything you ever wanted? This is what Chris is doing to himself with Robbie--Cera is just another dead pet that came back to life as far as he's concerned. His parents never fight, they fully accept his desire to remain a child, he can stay a child as long as he wants, he has two playmates that will never leave him no matter what and a father that can join in to finally make use of those empty, unused controlers that are just gathering dust in his room. His old friend, Sarah? She's back, she wants to play with him again. That sibling he always wanted? Oh hey, look, a Crystal sue.
Come to think of it, I think Chris saw the loss of Sarah as equal to the loss of Patti. And he's probably an infantilist.
June 4th Incident
Okay, now I'm going to try and figure out what's going on.
First off, the part about "fiddling his cats" doesn't make any sense--I'm pretty sure he was called a "kiddie fiddler" and he misheard it as "kitty piddler". The woman was probably Michael's wife.
The story Chris is giving out sounds funny for a reason--he gave it out two days after the incident, which makes me think he was rehearsing it. It makes sense.
Here's how the two days between Mike's comments and Chris's video probably went.
Chris instantly ran home and fed his parents his version of the story. They reacted accordingly and decided "oh hey I think we can sue with this" and had Chris reconstruct his story a bit so he'd look better. For example, he only had one beer when in fact he may have had several, Michael "jumped" in front of his car, Michael should be guilty of verbal assault, ect. The story Chris related on Sunday is one that, over 48 hours, was passed to his parents and then fed back into Chris.
Oh, and his "THE INTERNET SUCKS" thing is starting to crack--it only got thrown in at the end this time. Rocky isn't going to be happy.
Chris and Interneting
So, I think I know what he meant by "you scared me off of the internet". He doesn't define "being on the internet" as "uploading videos" or "using the PS3", he defines it as "Updating Sonichu". He thinks we're a bunch of fans who want him to continue making the comic. So this new video is just him spitting in the face of his fanbase.
And now it seems that he's trying to abandon the internet altogether. I'm giving him a week or two to come back(generous, I know).
And by "friends", I think he means Boblax + Rocky. He's just trying to make himself look intimidating(and failing).
Sex Drive
It's bothered us all for a while--just how in the nine hells did Chris not figure out masturbation until he was sixteen?
It's really bizarre for someone whose life was saturated with television and video games with no social interaction--people like that wind up with a hardon for particular characters eventually, via their first encounter with fanservice or simple lust.
Well, I think that's just because Chris played a lot of Sonic games. He owns a lot of games, but if his current pattern matches his old one, he probably never booted up some of them and just bought them to feel like he was worth something(he's bound for the fourth circle at this rate). All the characters in the majority of the games he played were probably furries and robots and thus unsexy even by his standards(he's got no sexuality--he traced Transformers porn for Sonichu 8 and yet there is no sign of an android fetish).
He probably paid so much attention to the games and children's cartoons that he watched that he never noticed the girls around him. When I was going through Episode 18, replacing it with Uzumaki, I noticed something--he never once draws the women with curves. He came close with Jigliami once...but I think that was just his attempt to exaggerate her breasts. And then there's Gretta "GOD DAMN LOOK AT THAT EVERYTHING" Squall, who has feet for hands.
And at one point during the sex scene Rosechu suddenly gained a hundred pounds I can only assume Chris was tracing fatty porn oh god does he have a fetish for it? Heck, the only time he ever got close was during his attempt to trace porn. And only because the pose he was tracing didn't call attention to the subject's hips. And also the subject was twelve.
This makes me wonder what kind of porn Chris is normally into. He's a furry for sure, and may or may not be into Transformers porn as well.
Chris didn't do what we did--he didn't just happen across the porn section at Newgrounds or stumble across 4chan or hell, even the Fire Emblem 7 boards on GameFAQs when they were in their prime(and believe me, one poster wrote fantastic erotica).
Chris just waddled through his life, missing everything. He wasn't aroused by anything because he never bit any hooks, he never, as a teen, thought "this show is boring and predictable, what else is on?"--even I did that. And Chris didn't. He likes stability, he liked predictability, he loves that which bores me.
REVIVE ZORDON
I think I understand why Chris hates the newer seasons of Power Rangers so much.
I don't remember which mailbag it was, but he said that he hated the fact that the Power Rangers were now being ordered around by the government or police or something.
I think I can make sense of this, but tragically I never saw much of the show due to circumstances beyond my control.
Someone who saw the show can cover my mistakes.
Anyway, it comes from Chris's misguided belief that authority equals power. Under such a system, weak characters defer to the stronger ones, with the strongest member of an organization being the leader.
He must have thought that Zordon was really, really strong, and he could accept that because of him being a magical floaty head. The fantasy allowed him to suspend his belief that the Rangers were weaker than him, but since he wasn't a normal thing, he could comprehend that the Rangers were still stronger than normal humans and Zordon was just stronger than that.
Hence, when Zordon died and later Rangers were servants to more realistic things, like the government, Chris pitched a fit. He took this to mean that the Rangers had been powered down--after all, why would they be serving the puny Army or police? They must be weaker than they are! Why should the strong serve the weak? Why aren't they running their own operation? Why are they working for those stupid Jerkops?
This all goes back to Chris's idea of authority. He has a firm belief in the trope "Authority Equals Asskicking"--whoever is at the top of any hierarchy is there because he or she can beat up anyone else below them.
Chris and his attempts to read the forums
Chris is watching the EDF and the CWCki. Here are his patterns.
EDF: He's been periodically dropping in on them every once and a while since he first found out about them. This is how he outed Sydney and the fake Megan--he had them both mixed up with Jackie, and the EDF forums were full of "Lulz Jackie was a troll" topics. He's not "getting smarter" in any way, he was saved by his own stupidity.
CWCki: He's been skimming the front page ever since mid-March. Clyde made a stupid mistake with the PS3 bug page--note that Chris only removed the bug AFTER it became the AOTN, indicating that he only checks the front page every now and then. He may or may not check the recent changes, I'm going to assume so for the sake of security. This means playing along with any scheme that may be active at the moment--example, if Chris thinks whatever girl he's talking to this week is true and honest, she's true and honest even though she's probably a troll.
Chris and Meg
I can't shake this suspicion. He almost always refers to her as "Megan", and it's starting to disturb me.
First off, I'm not altogether familiar with Family Guy--I quit watching it some time ago, somewhere around Road to Germany(Note to writers: Goodwin's Law does not a funny make, even if you do it twice and there was no oil crisis in 1940, You Fail History Forever), and only started watching it after it was un-canceled(Bar the first time I saw it, which was on an Adult Swim rerun).
I think the show was un-canceled around 2005 or so, I forget exactly when. But that would mean he met Megan Schroder the same year Family Guy was brought back. This would explain his attachment to Meg--he's mentally latched onto her as a variant of Megan Schroder(note to self: I wonder if Miss Schroder's middle name is "Marie"?).
But why hasn't he put Meg herself into the comic until recently? Simple. The prominence of something in CWCville is directly proportional to how much Chris likes it--he's the main character because he's his favorite person, Pokemon/Sonic hybrids run around because those are his two favorite things, ect. Chris doesn't like Family Guy as much as he claims--he hates it as much as anyone else does, but he feels obligated to watch it anyway. He's sick of the pro-gay stuff, the poorly executed Meg jokes, the poorly executed Repuplican jokes, the anti-Christian rants, and more or less everything he'd be opposed to(that and the voice changes). Also, this didn't develop until Family Guy started sucking(I will persist that it wasn't always terrible)--Megan Schroder was around in 2005 to put directly into the comic.
Waiiit. I wonder...if Megan hadn't told Chris to remove her from the comic, would it have been her coming up to thank Chris for blowing up the ED page? Ah, I see--Meg's being used as a proxy sue for Megan and as a mouthpiece for Chris to complain about Family Guy.
Sonichu 10
Okay, we all know this is one long revenge fantasy, but think about what killing Simonla did.
Chris, at that point, had written himself into a corner. He wanted around 100 pages, but he barely had seventy up. He needed 20+ more pages before he could call it a wrap, and he's already wiped out most of the other antagonists he wanted dealt with. And he can't draw out a fight scene at all, as that runs against his nature. And he has some grasp of narrative flow, too--he can't just shove the characters blabbering about soda for twenty pages and then spend three pages fighting Mary Lee Walsh.
Come to think of it, that explains the page where Mary goes through her villain rant--Chris was trying to fill as much of the page as possible and dragged out the story he wanted as much as he could in the hopes it would net him a few extra pages. I remember people noting that it actually was a jump in quality--Mary moved according to what she was saying and there was a logical, organized layout. Chris, however, screwed everything up and didn't manage to drag shit out.
So now he's at a loss and doesn't know what more to write, but he's happy--he's killed every single troll and now he feels better. This issue will be a testament to his strength and his willpower and OH MY GODBEAR SIMONLA JUST EXPLODED! Boom. Issue ruined. He killed the Asperpals, sure, but that didn't bring her back. She's gone. He killed her.
IDEAS
The new plan
I wonder if there's a way for us to communicate to Chris that his fanbase has dwindled to a meager few hundred?
Daria no doubt knows about it, but the odds of her making an update to that effect are slim to none.
I mean, how could she ignore:
- The presence of a far superior comic (Asperchu)
- Chris refusing to update even the mailbags, which don't require inspiration to respond to.
- Chris breaking his promise to never put blood and gore in his comic. Many, many fans who had stuck with Sonichu simply because it wasn't as "violent" as Asperchu left for Asperchu then, as while Alec has shown blood and gore he's still a better writer.
- Chris breaking his promise to remove himself from the comic 100%
- Sonichu 10 was a horrible failure--95% of the remaining fans abandoned him throughout the issue, leaving only a small core that thought it was any good.
- And many, many more.
I wonder if there's a group of fans putting together a list of greivences against Chris, something like "We will only consider reading your comic again if you follow our demands--Sonichu is nothing without the fanbase". And I wonder if they'd be willing to send their manifesto to Daria--she seems agreeable, unlike Chris.