Difference between revisions of "Virgin with rage"

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{{quote|Tell me why (I'm stuck as a virgin with rage) <br>Tell me why (I so need a cute girl my age)|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}
FACE US ON OUR FORUM YOU COWARDS. http://order.forum-phpbb.co.uk/general-f4/i-declared-war-on-cwcki-t329.htm
 
[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[shecameforCWC.jpg|WHY?]]]]
 
'''Virgin with rage''' is [[Chris's]] description of himself, a catch phrase that he has made his very own. The term's origins stem from the fact that this [[Autism|retard]] is indeed a virgin (and will forever remain so). Rendered helpless by this condition, his eternal virginity engenders [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]].
 
Chris is very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brings up the subject completely unprovoked, even in casual conversation with somebody he has just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it's generally not a good idea to mention that he's a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.
 
== Hormonal rage ==
Chris is probably dimly aware of his eventual fate, that he is destined to be a virgin forever. Obviously, this much repressed sexual drive, combined with the social ineptitude resulting from his [[autism]], means that Chris is ready to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI snap] at any point. Only [[mass debating]] keeps Chris from playing ''Counter-Strike'' IRL.
 
{{quote | Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself. |Chris, on how he could fly off the handle}}
 
Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't: touching her hair, touching her shoulder, giving her random and unwanted hugs, etc. Chris even went so far as to corner her and try to kiss her.
 
Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."
 
I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], January 10 at 12:28 a.m}}
 
Alba was doubtlessly traumatized.
 
==Public references to his virginity==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", which Chris recorded in August 2003, features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about [[Sprung]] from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from 2004 featured Chris's poem [[Saddest Heart in the World]], where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September 2004, Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *sigh*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Years resolution for 2009, announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman."
*While assaulting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 April 2009, Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from May 2009 includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 July 2009, Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the many obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 August 2009, Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 January 2010, a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 March 2010, features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."
 
== Why Chris will never lose his virginity ==
<center></center>
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Why Chris-Chan will never lose his virginity
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|hzI-dgGsnFU}}
| Stardate      = 07 September 2009
| Maker          = danicapayton
| Subject        =
| Video Type    =
| Other Info    =
}}
 
==Sauces==
<references/>
 
== See also ==
* [[Chris and anger]]
* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and rape]]
 
{{CWC-isms}}
 
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Revision as of 18:24, 12 September 2010

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