Anonymous 2009-05-04 21:59 No.5206
First I want to say that this is not an "OMG U SHULD DO THIS TO CHRIS LOLOL" post, although it may sound it. This may also sound like epic moralfaggotry, but I promise this is with the intention of lulz.
Seriously though. Like pretty much every bad thing possible has been done to Chris, short of tricking him into an-heroing himself.
Why has no troll tried something like, "I'll stop loving you unless you learn to play a real guitar," or "... clean your whole house," type things? Like having him do something that would be REALLY unexpected of him.
Maybe if the carrot of nonexistent poontang is dangled in front of him, he can actually do some amazing things aside from talking to/kissing/fucking a blowup doll on a webcam. And hey if he fails spectacularly, it'd probably good for a laugh.
Anonymous 2009-05-04 22:49 No.5217
Every troll has tried to this.
Chris was ready to fuck a dog for Panda but he wouldn't save up money to go visit her.
Chris was willing to make sex tapes where he screams "JULLLAAAAAAAAAAAY" like a retard in heat for Julie yet he wouldn't go get a job like she asked him too.
Chris doesn't want to improve himself. He's more than willing to do fucked up shit for his sweethearts like shove things up his ass or do shitty songs of covers but if it's something serious like "Get a job" or "Clean your house" he doesn't give a shit, even if china is involved.
IF this idea was to work, you'd actually have to get a girl who was really willing to go meet up with Chris and follow through, in addition to showing her tits and china to him and even in this case, I highly doubt he'd do it because then he'd feel like he was in a position of power. One of the reasons he needs a sweetheart is because he needs a mommy he can fuck, someone who will get a job and support him financially, keep the house clean, etc.
Anonymous 2009-05-04 23:53 No.5226
You're exactly right, and this is because Chris was raised to believe his autism was his excuse for everything, and an uncivilized leech like him is in love with the fact he doesn't have to abide by things like rules, social norms, or just growing up past 12-years-old. It's his parents' fault, how is he going to be expected to be hygienic or clean up his own filth when his parents are festering in that garbage dump they call a home? How can he be expected to get a job and support himself when his parents are more than happy to let him do nothing? This situation is disgusting and his parents are lowlife rednecks who obviously don't give a shit about him or his future.
At the risk of sounding like an apologist, I'm not, and I consider Chris to be a less-than-human plaything of the internet. I really don't consider him a real person, to be honest. Chris isn't delusional and he's not far from 30-years-old either; he knows exactly what the situation is but he doesn't want to change it for the world because who wouldn't want to live like a child with mommy and daddy playing videogames forever without responsibility or obligations? The only twist is he's also a maniacal pervert raised by a bigoted, sexist dad from the last century who probably expects a woman to fuck him, love him, and coddle him like his mom. It's not like Chris has considered getting a job to support his "future daughter" or wife. He wants another mommy and he has no real value of women in the first place.
This is why Chris will fuck dogs and burn his house down if it means his troll girlfriends will promise that they'll suck his dick, coddle him, and adopt to his grotesquely contorted lifestyle of do-nothingness. Then again if they pushed Chris to get a job, stop playing videogames, or sell his stupid shit all you hear is the childish whine of "NO!" a la the climactic Julie audio and it won't happen. Chris loves his lifestyle and he justifies it with autism which is bullshit because plenty of autistic retards (even worse than Chris) can mainstream by getting a job or doing what's expected of them in society - probably because their parents wouldn't want to put up with their shit forever. I know my parents wouldn't.
So with that said, there's no moral sympathy owed to Chris at all. White knight bullshit comes from people who have zero clue what they're talking about, and I dare any of these faggots to befriend Chris (especially if you're female) IRL and count the hours until you realize his shit doesn't come from being mentally defected with autism and you hate his guts. If you're female, then count the seconds until this gross fetal accident tries to touch you or convince you to swallow his cum.
Anonymous 2009-05-05 01:50 No.5238
Also, I think the main crux comes from the fact that he has his feet in both worlds. Like you said, he is only willing to go so far out of his childhood to get what he wants.
This is where most of the lulz come from. He loves sitting around playing video games, making cool stories about his imaginary characters and generally acting like a child. All this stuff was fun when we were kids. We all did it. I used to veg out on video games and play pretend with my friends.
Then of course, adulthood hits. Then we all realize that there is stuff that is way better. Like losing our virginity. So we put down the controllers, get some jobs and move on to new stuff. There is hardship, but we reap major benefits from working hard, then having a nice house and someone to fuck at the end of the day. Add on some new thrills and so on...
But instead of putting all this shit aside to have a new adventure, Chris wants to drag it all with him, kicking and screaming. If he just stuck to his childish things, we would never even know he existed. But because he wants adult things while never giving up anything from his childhood... EVERYONE NOTICES. Because you just can't do it.
It's kind of like getting a choice of dessert. You can have bubblegum flavored ice cream or fudge ripple. When you are young, bubblegum is great but as you get older you get new tastes and forgo one for the other.
Chris wants both servings of ice cream. At the same time. And he didn't finish his vegetables.
And that's what he thinks everything in life is like, asking for ice cream. Whine enough and you get it. Because this worked when he was a kid. Now he thinks it will work when he is older, but he doesn't whine only for kid things, now he whines for adult things.
If he ever did land a woman, she would tell him to throw away the bubblegum flavor and start eating fudge ripple. And that would not fly with him AT ALL.
It really makes me think, how interesting a social experiment it would be to see him try and live the married life. Just exactly what he would do once the honeymoon period was over and there's no china without a week of hard work, paying the bills and keeping the house in shape.
WE WILL NEVER KNOW THANK GOD
Anonymous 2009-05-04 22:47 No.5215
People with Autism (or at least, really low-functioning people like Chris) tend to "attention whore" themselves about certain little things that makes them (feel) "more special". I'm sure if Chris found out he had a rare blood type or a double-jointed finger, he'd be all over it and inappropriately bring it up at every chance he got. He does the same thing with being 1/16th Native American, "related" to Anne Boleyn, and etc. It's all to fuel his autistic narcissism.
No, Chris definitely does not have heterochromia, and his right eye is actually one shade off due to pinkeye (Only noticeable when viewed very closely). However, Chris still puts allot of emphasis on it and thinks it's a positive thing to "brag" about, especially when talking to girls (Like I really need to say how telling a girl your eye color is different due to PINKEYE, is information you shouldn't share)
Anonymous 2009-05-04 20:06 No.5189
The thing is, you start to get over the whole "oh he has a disability, they should leave him alone" thing when you realize that beneath the Autism, he's still a sexist bigoted pervert of a man. His stupid parents, who live in complete filth, have obviously never cared enough to seek appropriate support for him and his disability and let him leech of tax payer dollars and live in a complete fantasy world at the age of 27.
Chris' life is just one of those really "out there" oddities that is entertaining as hell to observe.
Anonymous 2009-05-03 23:56 No.5030
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually becoming bored of the whole Chris Chan trolling thing. Not even like troll's remorse. It's just that every troll is the goddamn same. Pick up the strings, make Chris do a little dance, repeat until bored, pass the strings to someone else, repeat from step 2.
It doesn't even take skill to troll him. He'll believe anything you say, guaranteed. This has been proven repeatedly, and it doesn't mean anything to prove it anymore. Something needs to happen again. An in-person meeting or something. Shit, it doesn't even need to be in person. But Chris has taken this to the point where an epic breakup is in order. Tell him you'll meet him at the airport and never show up. Better yet, tell him you'll meet him at the nearby mall and never show up, but have someone with a video camera scouting the area. (Doing the video camera thing at the airport would probably get you v&)
Do something. Just cut the line and let the remaining lulz drain out before this starts getting pathetic again like it did with JULAY.
falsion 2009-05-04 13:00 No.5143
The thing is, what you've suggested has already been done.
Everything you can think of has been attempted or pulled off at this point.
We had him to out of state to meet JULAYY, and he drove all the way to fucking Ohio. We even had trolls meet him in real life, and troll him IRL.
But guess what? He's not phased by any of it. He may get a little upset about it, but the next day he is back to his same old dumb ass self.
The only things that piss him off are people messing with his sweetheart, being called a homo, or him feeling like he's being oppressed by an organization (Nintendo, Wikipedia, Unilever) of some kind.
I understand how you feel, and even I feel the same way. But it's not the trolls fault. But more so that Chris is a fucking retard, and you can't ask much out of someone who is a complete fucking idiot. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Anonymous 2009-05-04 13:52 No.5147
The main problem is that Chris is extremely delusional and narcissistic partially due to having his ego stroked by trolls so much.
Chris doesn't get too phased by women leaving him because he knows there's a whole line of women (read: trolls who want to be his new BOYFRIEND FREE GIRL) because he thinks he is God's gift to women (I mean, HIS MOM SAYS HE'S HANDSOME, AND HIS MOM WOULDN'T LIE, WOULD SHE?). Unless you could get people to stop trolling him by pretending to be his e-girlfriend, when the threat of not having someone to move onto will be real for Chris, we're always going to need someone to do this stick.
The only thing that really pisses Chris off is when people call him a homo but because his parents restrict his time online, he can't really spend lots of time online looking at people calling him a homo are.
Telling Chris to meet you at the airport and not show up is stupid, because that's just like what happened when he drove to Cleveland but no one was there, and he was like "Ah darn, guess I drove to Cleveland for nothing."
IRL stuff does fuck him up, just not in the ways you think. Why Chris seems so crazy now is because that date he had IRL really fucked with his mind. However, not too many trolls are willing to spend time and money to travel down to Ruckersville, VA to troll Chris and getting Chris outside of his house would prove to be a challenge as his ideal first date would be inside his own house.