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'''Holy Labels''' are bottle wrappers featuring illustrations made by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] that he thinks thinks will bless the drinker and purify the liquid being consumed. Chris believes that, by photocopying his scribbles, laminating them, and placing them around beverages, you will get [[Messiah complex|his blessing]]. Chris sends these labels to [[True and Loyal Fanbase|his adoring fans]] and expects them to actually do as he commands. 

==Analysis==

All of the Holy Labels that have been sent thus far are written like this:

{{BottleWrapper}}

All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, [[Women's rights|meant to resemble]] [[China|a human uterus]], in the center.

On the left are the words:

{{quote|The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and [[Dimensional Merge|the recombined new Earth]]!}}

And on the right are the words:

{{quote|[[Chris and his ego|Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu,]] [[CPU Blue Heart|the Goddess Blue Heart.]]}}

In [[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|a letter sent to Kengle]] Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle".

Given that [[Chris and hygiene|Chris's hygiene]] is most likely abysmal in jail, these bottle wrappers can be deemed utterly useless, and probably not adviseable to use for one's own health.

==List of Labels Mailed==

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! style="background;"  | Front
! style="background;"  | Back
! style="background;"  | Product
! style="background;" | Date Sent
! style="background;" | Sent To
|- style="height" 7em;| rowspan="6"
|[[File:KengleCocaColaFront.jpg|100px]]
|[[File:KengleCocaColaBack.jpg|100px]]
|Coca Cola
|[[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|30 October 2021]]
|Kenneth Englehardt
|-
|[[File:11.8.21MailFantafront.jpeg|100px]]
|[[File:11.8.21MailFantaback.jpeg|100px]]
|Grape Fanta
|[[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021|8 November 2021]]
|Stories from the Penitentiary
|-
|[[File:Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 - part 3.jpg|100px]]
|
|Coca Cola
|[[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Celestia)|30 November 2021]]
|Celestia
|}

==See Also==

*[[Jail letters]]
*[[Chris and Reality]]
*[[Chris and Religion]]

{{Relics of Fail}}
{{JailLetter}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]