View source for Sonichu 3

{{quote|Dibbieflimboom03|Chris's title for his file of the comic<ref>[[:File:Sonichupdfproperties3.png]]</ref>}}
{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue  = Sonichu'' #3
| cover          = Sonichu - Issue 3, Cover.jpg
| coverdate      = 20 June 2005
| finishedcomic  = 21 Feb 2006
| pagecount      = 45
| episodes       = 10-11
| sub-episodes   = 4
| previous       = [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]
| next           = [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]
}}
'''''Sonichu'' #3''' is the fourth issue of the series.  

This issue introduces the [[Chaotic Combo]], the five Electric Hedgehogs who basically exist to be Sonichu and Rosechu's friends and would form the fixed ensemble cast of the series going forwards. Rather than just have more [[rainbow]] beams hit unsuspecting [[Pokémon]], Chris gets it in his head that baby Sonichus would be cute and decides to spend all of Episode 10 chronicling the entire life stories of five different characters. Each of the Combo's origin stories are virtually identical, as they are created as eggs from the magical rainbow and then deposited umpteen years in the past, where they're adopted by people or Pokémon who cultivate their abilities until they evolve. Making matters worse, Chris's concept for [[Sonee and Rosey|baby Sonichus and Rosechus]] is that they are unable to speak beyond saying "Sonee?" or "Rosey!", thereby guaranteeing page upon page with almost no intelligible dialogue. The troll community almost unanimously agrees that "Sonichu Babies" is one of the most aggravating pieces of Sonichu material made, and is the most likely to result in some kind of violence, due to the irrational anger it can and has caused. This issue took Chris ''seven months'' to complete; even he seems to have struggled to get through it.

In Episode 11, the Chaotic Combo is united for the first time by Sonichu, whereupon they [[Target|dogpile]] [[Blake|Black Sonichu]] in a six-on-one beatdown.

==Episode 10: "Sonichu Babies"==
{{-}}
{{Resources
| title =Sonichu Babies
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512051392222678.1073741829.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 10''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_1 ''Episode 10''
| videobook =Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook#Episode_10{{!}}''Episode 10''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic4P1.htm ''Episode 10''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qm67tHDjegI&index=12&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Ep. 10 (1 of 2)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_akfbQkqIPo&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=13 ''Ep. 10 (2 of 2)''
}}
[[Image:MagiChanFarts.JPG|thumb|Inappropriate flatulence is something [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|Chris also experiences.]]]]
[[File:Magi_chan_training.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of Magi-chan's training.]]
It is explained that the rainbow of Chaos Energy that emerged from Sonichu's collision with Sonic created five eggs that landed in various areas within a few miles of [[CWCville]]. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the narrator, congratulates himself on this cute intro, and presents what [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] would have looked like if they had been born as Sonee and Rosey, which makes no sense because they first appeared fully-grown, having evolved from mature Pokémon.

Each of these eggs is shown hatching into a new baby [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]. First, the green egg lands in the jungle and the hatchling is raised by a [[Venusaur]] and a [[Scyther]], who teach him various survival skills. In time, [[Wild Sonichu]] develops his ability to inexplicably shoot vines from his arms, fly with his propeller-like tail (a skill he has never once used outside of this page), and camouflage himself into his surroundings.

The blue egg lands in the ocean, where it is recovered by a [[Swampert]] who takes it to the beach to hatch. The resulting Rosey loves to play in the water with her surrogate mother, until one day a [[Boulder-Dropping Whale|Wailord inexplicably drops a boulder]] onto Swampert, causing it to sink into the depths. Terrified, the Rosey tries to save Swampert, but is too weak; however, its effort causes it to evolve, and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] is able to save her. Bubbles is so happy to reveal her origin that she decides to make a seashell necklace (which we never see).

The white egg somehow ends up at the doorstep of a convent, where it is discovered by several nuns who live there. The nuns raise the white Rosey, who studies the Roman Catholic faith alongside them. They also inexplicably keep her eggshell around, presumably as a memento or proof of a miracle. She evolves into [[Angelica|Angelica Rosechu]] in her sleep one night, and for no apparent reason Christian Chandler is [[Pedofork|outside her bedroom window]] with shoes and a scrunchie for her to wear in her new form, even though none of the other members of the Combo received any such gifts, and she's still naked.   

The red egg crashes into Nabe's {{w|dojo}}-shin, immediately hatching into a Sonee. Inspired by his surroundings, the Sonee tries to fight. Mypoe accepts the Sonee's challenge, and for no apparent reason she rips the Sonee's tail off. This trauma causes the Sonee to evolve into [[Punchy Sonichu]]. Punchy uses his impressive strength to Sky Uppercut Mypoe straight through the roof, presumably killing her. Impressed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Nabe offers to teach Punchy the ways of the martial arts, at which Punchy excels.

The purple egg hatches inside a mysterious mountain, where it seems to be alone. However, the Sonee is telepathically contacted by [[Mewtwo]] from a nearby city. Mewtwo has noticed the Sonee's telepathic powers and wishes to mentor him in the use of those abilities. In this way, the Sonee learns to master his abilities and vicariously learns about the outside world and {{w|Jackie Chan}} movies. One day during his routine meditation he evolves into [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]]. Then he farts. Mewtwo congratulates Magi-Chan and sends him off to find his destiny, promising that they will meet in person sometime in the future.

===Analysis===
The stories are, unsurprisingly, [[Chris and writing|dull and clichéd]]. Three of the five stories follow the same pattern: Egg is found by foster parents and hatches, foster parents teach child notionally valuable skills as the child struggles to accomplish them, and child evolves after an unspecified time and has suddenly mastered the aforementioned skills. Bubbles's story is similar, without the "valuable skills" part, making her useless. Punchy's story is the only one that deviates from the formula, and therefore the only one that's remotely interesting. Indeed, the pages each story occupies are nearly identical in layout. How and why the eggs ended up where they did has not been addressed by Chris to this day; the only options are either extreme good fortune (any Rosey/Sonee but Bubbles who ended up the ocean, for instance, would have drowned) or a completely unexplained intervening force. Also, Punchy has slanted eyes. This, along with knowing martial-arts, makes him look like a [[Chris and Race|caricature of Asian people]].

===Advertisement 1===
Join [[MySpace]], the premier online community for dudes of all teenages, [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-minds]], and [[Saddest Heart in the World|cutters]]! Chris already has, and he needs more friends. At this time, Sonichu is his only friend =(
{{-}}

==Episode 11: The Chaotic Combo in "When Hedgehogs Meet"==
{{Resources
| title =When Hedgehogs Meet
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512051392222678.1073741829.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 11''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_13 ''Episode 11''
| videobook =Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook#Episode_11{{!}}''Episode 11''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic4P7.htm ''Episode 11''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W9hcxCaRyE&index=14&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 11''
}}
[[Image:Exposition.JPG|thumb|''Sonichu 3'' demonstrates Chris' subtle use of exposition.]]
''When Hedgehogs Meet'' is probably intended to be a grandiose title, but, because hedgehogs are inherently silly animals, any such drama falls flat. The story is introduced by [[Flame the Sunbird]], who explains the significance of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], a mystical artifact that must remain safe on his island to prevent people from growing or losing extra appendages.

Just then [[Black Sonichu]] jumps out of a helicopter on orders from [[Naitsirhc]] to steal the very same stone Flame was just telling us about. The black fiend, being larger and stronger than Flame, easily overpowers him and, having a simplistic notion of justice, takes the Sunstone away on his hoverboard. Flame goes after him and attempts to subdue Black Sonichu with Drill Peck (despite explicitly confirming he is not a Pokémon immediately before this scene), but the devious darkie uses Double Team to confuse his pursuer.

Amid this commotion, Black Sonichu's hoverboard somehow creates a wave that washes over the beach as he reaches the mainland, thoroughly drenching [[Bubbles]], who was sunbathing on the shore (despite her total inability to tan). Bubbles is furious at getting wet (despite being a Water-type who lives in the ocean). With little regard for others, Blachu speeds through the jungle, knocking [[Wild]] off-balance as he swings through the trees. Finally, in another part of the wilderness, [[Punchy]] is practicing his punches out in the forest, when his spiky knuckles get caught on the bottom of the hoverboard and is dragged along for the ride.

Near her convent, [[Angelica]], who has no botanical powers whatsoever, is somehow causing flowers to grow in a pattern that reads "HOPE & PEACE". Just then Black Sonichu and Punchy zoom by, with Punchy hitting a tree and falling from the hoverboard. While Angelica checks on Punchy, Bubbles, Wild, and Flame catch up. Each of the hedgehogs is delighted to meet others of their kind, and make introductions. From a distance, [[Magi-Chan]] observes this and realizes the others are forgetting about Blachu, so he zaps off to remind them.

Meanwhile, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] finally bothers to show up on page 23 of his own damn comic, having somehow already concluded that a black guy is out stealing things. Just before Blachu can reach the safety of Team Rocket's headquarters, Sonichu intercepts him. After a brief scuffle, Sonichu finds he has reinforcements - Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy, Flame, and Magi-Chan have all teleported in. Black Sonichu remains defiant, perhaps due to unconscionable amounts of crack cocaine and PCP he has ingested. While Flame falls into a bush and exits the fight, the hedgehogs huddle up and Sonichu comes up with a brilliant strategy:

{{quote|Avoid his attacks, and attack him with your punches, kicks, wing attacks; that sort!}}

The [[Chaotic Combo]] then employs this meticulous and brilliant plan of attacking their opponent while not letting him hit them, but little strategy is needed when it's six against one, and Black Sonichu is easily beaten by superior numbers.

===Analysis===
It's better than ''Sonichu Babies'', but that doesn't make it good. Their strategy isn't so much a strategy as it is, "attacking really quickly".

===Advertisement 2===
An advertisement for an escort/prostitution service specifically catered to the needs of welfare-collecting, homebound, 20-something male virgins. FREE! Humorously, the phone number advertised (1-800-RITE-NOW) does exist in real life, connecting to a company who scam elderly people by selling fake insurance; they have since ran out of free monkeys.

==Sub-Episode 4: Christian Chandler in "McAttack"==
{{Resources
| title =McAttack
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.512051392222678.1073741829.100002534669114&type=3 ''Sub-Episode 4''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_3/Page_31 ''Sub-Episode 4''
| videobook =Sonichu_3_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode_4{{!}}''Sub-Episode 4''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic4P16.htm ''Sub-Episode 4''
}}
One year and ten months have now passed since [[Christian Weston Chandler]] began his [[Love Quest]], but he has still been unable to locate "an 18-23-year-old, [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend free]], caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]], white girl to build a relationship from the [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|ground-up]] with." We find Chris at [[McDonald's|M-C-Dville]] in the region of [[Mal-Wart]], drawing comics and listening to music on his [[Nintendo]] DS and generally not purchasing food or otherwise justifying his presence there. He blames his inadequacy on all men everywhere (except for himself and [[Bob Chandler|his father]]), who has taken all of the pretty girls for themselves. In happier thoughts, Chris is glad to have <s>paid for</s> earned a pair of [[Anime Wings|hair clips shaped like wings]] at a recent anime convention, although this prize was intended for twelve-year-old girls.

Just then, the McDuo of M-C-Dville, [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], arrive. They have been notified by the [[Jerkhief]] of [[Fa-Square]] that Christian is on a quest to find true love, which for no given reason is forbidden in Mal-Wart. Backed up by an army of the Jerkhief's [[Mecha-Jerkops]], they accuse Chris of solicitation. Chris makes a boring speech and refuses to back down, and the Mecha-Jerkops advance upon him. However, just then [[Darkbind Sonichu]] makes his debut, slicing the Mecha-Jerkops into pieces with his sword.  Darkbind acknowledges his loyalty to Chris due to him being both the mayor of [[CWCville]] and his creator.

Chris summons the [[anchuent powers]] of his [[medallion]] to become [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and somehow the anime wings become real wings on his head, making him into [[Super Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. While Darkbind dismembers the cybernetic Merried Seinor Comic, Chris takes to the air to combat B-Manajerk with Aerial Ace, Double Team, and Thunderbolt. With his trusty [[Pixelblocks]], Chris-Chan creates a decoy of himself, which B-Manajerk mistakes for the real thing and attacks with his ax. The broken pieces of Pixelblocks become lodged his skin, diverting him while Chris sneaks up from behind with a Sky Uppercut. How Chris successfully delivered an uppercut from behind is not apparent. With the villains defeated, Darkbind hurries to leave before Chris can revert to human form and deliver his big speech:

{{quote|Now, as for you two [[Manajerks]], the pain that you both are feeling now should be punishment enough for going against me in my quest for a [[Boyfriend-free girl]] to love and trust! I do not care about your rules, either of you, or any male other than my father and myself! But let me make it perfectly clear that in my quest it is very hard for me to find a girl due to the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]! And I do not want to risk getting a punch in the face from a [[jerk]]! Also, since the ladies are unable to notice my person, because [[Women's rights|they mostly have shopping on their minds]], I have to loudly spell it out. So, place, just leave me alone with my Love Quest!}}

This simple request is refused by a voice over the intercom, and Chris finds himself beset by the ruler of the Mal-Wart Region, the dreaded [[W-M-Manajerk]].

[[Sub-Episode 5|TO BE CONTINUED...]]

===Analysis===
[[Niggos| Yes, B-Manajerk means Black Manajerk]]. Yes, Married Senior Comic is an actual name Chris just made. And yes, it is a two-parter.

===Back Cover===
As with ''Sonichu'' #2, early editions feature the personal army request page, while the most recent [[CWCipedia]] version features ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]''.

==Comic pages==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 3
|<gallery mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Issue 3, Cover.jpg      | Cover
File:Sonichu - Jargon Page.jpg         | Disclaimer
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 10: Sonichu Babies" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 1.jpg  | Page 1
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 2.jpg  | Page 2
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 3.jpg  | Page 3
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 4.jpg  | Page 4
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 5.jpg  | Page 5
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 6.jpg  | Page 6
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 7.jpg  | Page 7
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 8.jpg  | Page 8
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 9.jpg  | Page 9
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 10.jpg | Page 10
File:Sonichu - Episode 10, Page 11.jpg | Page 11
File:Sonichu - Advertisement, MySpace.jpg | Page 12 ([[MySpace]] profile)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 11: The Chaotic Combo" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 1.jpg  | Page 13
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 2.jpg  | Page 14
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 3.jpg  | Page 15
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 4.jpg  | Page 16
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 5.jpg  | Page 17
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 6.jpg  | Page 18
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 7.jpg  | Page 19
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 8.jpg  | Page 20
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 9.jpg  | Page 21
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 10.jpg | Page 22
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 11.jpg | Page 23
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 12.jpg | Page 24
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 13.jpg | Page 25
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 14.jpg | Page 26
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 15.jpg | Page 27
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 16.jpg | Page 28
File:Sonichu - Episode 11, Page 17.jpg | Page 29
File:Sonichu - Advertisement, 1-800-RITE-NOW.jpg | Page 30
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Sub-Episode 4: McAttack" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 1.jpg  | Page 31
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 2.jpg  | Page 32
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 3.jpg  | Page 33
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 4.jpg  | Page 34
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 5.jpg  | Page 35
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 6.jpg  | Page 36
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 7.jpg  | Page 37
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 8.jpg  | Page 38
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 9.jpg  | Page 39
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 10.jpg | Page 40
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 11.jpg | Page 41
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 12.jpg | Page 42
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 13.jpg | Page 43
File:Sonichu - Sub-Episode 4, Page 14.jpg | Page 44
File:Sonichu - Back Cover.jpg | Page 45 (Original Back Cover)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Revised pages" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Sonichu Adventure for Gamecube.jpg | Page 45 (Revised Back Cover)
</gallery>}}</center>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Comic Collection|linkname=the Sonichu Comic Collection}}
*[[Chaotic Combo]]
*[[B-Manajerk]]
*[[Merried Seinor Comic]]

{{References}}

==External links==
[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B6mRSOBYFcaBT0xnY25saFMwTkU/edit?usp=sharing Download this issue as a .zip file]

[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1987nZLKbmSzqRm8EZCOb7cocOCwgH8iy/view?usp=sharing/ Download the CBR to read the comic the way godbear intended]

{{Sonichu}}
{{articleofthenow}}
[[Category: Sonichu comic book issues]]