CWCki:Operation Mailbag

PROTIP: I'm just kinda throwing them up there whenever. Love [ Clyde ]. Check the mailbags to see if it was posted!

Post your e-mails to Chris here. Please see CWCki talk:Operation Mailbag for Rules of Engagement and details. --Champthom 00:31, 29 November 2009 (CET)

From: Davros Skaledthal (fromskarowlove@aol.co.uk) Greetings, Mister Chandler. My name is Davros Skaledthal. I am a geneticist, and I have a few questions after reading the latest issue of Sonichu. I deeply enjoy your comic, and especially the portrayal of Cwcville as a utopia. Every man should have a place to call his own, don't you agree? First off, though, may I say how inspiring it is that you manage to make a high-quality page nearly every day. It must be incredibly taxing on you, but you seem to be coping admirably. Now, as to the questions. 1. You say that there is a 'gay gene' that can be cured. How exactly does this cure work, and which chromosome is said gay gene attached to? 2. As you have said in a previous mail post, you understand the basics of how evolution works. I'm not expecting you to discuss it at doctorate level of course, but as you know, a gene that is not used or is recessive does not transfer to the next generation. How then is the gay gene transmitted? Obviously every gay man or woman has two heterosexual parents, therefore the gay gene is not represented in either of them. 3. If the gay gene exists and can be cured, would it also be possible to cure, say, left-handedness? Just as a rhetorical question, you understand. But on that topic, what other genetic defects would you cure if you had a serum? Perhaps we could compare notes sometime. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and I know this is asking rather much from you, so I apologize in advance, but would you please elaborate on each of these questions with at least one full sentence? If not, I completely understand. Genius must do as genius must. Thank you for your time, Mister Chandler. Eagerly awaiting your response, Davros Skaledthal

Number two should be rewritten; recessive genes definitely can be passed to the next generation, it just takes a copy from each parent for them to be expressed. Unless you just wanted Christ to show off his stupidity, in which case, carry on.
-Yeah, I want him to prove how little he really knows.

• My 2 cents - maybe split the Davros letter in two? a) It's long, and Chris has a short attention span; b) the second part is about Teh Gays, he will become stressed, and that may cause him not to answer the first part as well, or throw the letter in the Rejected bin. What do you think? --GokuGetEm 09:58, 22 December 2009 (CET)
  • Good point. I'll do that. Torchwood 19:26, 22 December 2009 (CET)

I've been thinking about either hitting him on his "I have magic powers" stance or his blatant Mary Sue solutions to everything in his comic. Which should I go for? Both would be quite juicy, just in different ways. EnsignDisposable 07:34, 21 December 2009 (CET) Better idea. Gotta hit him on "I'm enough of a hero."

From: Jacob N. (jacob_n333@yahoo.com) Good day, Chris! In mailbag 20 you responded to a question as to why you don't use your Wild Talents to fight crime by saying, essentially, that you've already done enough as a crimefighter and hero. I reflected on that statement, then reflected on your biography, and it came to my realization that there were three deeply wrong things about that statement. Firstly, no, no human being has ever done "enough" heroic deeds. True heroes are never content with what they have done save perhaps as they are dying and can do no more forever. Even then I can bet you they'd all love a few extra years to devote to the cause of good--or even a few seconds. If you fancy yourself a hero, saying "haven't I done enough?" is a great way to prove you're not. Secondly, I can't really think of any outright heroic things you've done. Mostly you've just gotten in trouble with the police and the dean of student services. You did help with McIntyre park, but that's not exactly an act of heroism. It's nice, sure, but if you are, as you claim to be, a Wild Talent, you could have the potential to do so very much more than that. Last: do you really think you have superhuman abilities? Why are you content with only using them selfishly against people who get in your way? Internet trolls aren't supervillains, they're just people who like annoying other people on the Internet. They're insignificant at best. If you really do have the power to lay debilitating curses on people, and all you've done so far is curse trolls and managers and policemen who get in your way, you're taking a phenomenally rare gift and squandering it utterly. I may be a major in English, but I am a minor in Parapsychology, the study of the arcane, and I can assure you that no Wild Talent with a gift such as yours should waste it. Even if there are limits to your power, any hero worth his salt would do his best to circumvent them. If you believe you have a Wild Talent, and you consider yourself a hero, it is your duty as a human being to stand up to corruption, social injustice, crime, and other ills that beset mankind. That is my position, at least, and it saddens my heart to hear someone with the potential for greatness waste it. It would be like finding Excalibur and only using it to warn ornery kids off of your lawn. I have no capital-T Talents; I have only my words. If my words can make the world greater, then I shall use my words to do so! If you have genuine supernatural ability, it would be an injustice to squander it. I beseech you to reconsider your position on the matter. Yours in the business of mankind, Jacob Nathaniel Lights-in-the-Sky, Bachelor of English

"As if I haven't acted enough of a Hero or crime-fighter already?"

Same idea, different approach:

From: Howard Roark (fountainhead3000@hotmail.com) Hi Chris, I had a quick question about something you said in an earlier mailbag: "As if I haven't acted enough of a Hero or crime-fighter already?" Can you tell us more about your heroism or some crimes you've solved? The reason I'm asking is because I don't remember any times you've talked about being a hero or crime-fighting. It's nice that you're modest about that, but I'm sure your fans would love to hear about your adventures! Sincerely, Howard Roark

From: Guybrush Threepwood (m1ghtyp1rate@lucasarts.com) Arrr! Ahoy, Christian! I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! May I ask ye a few questions, me matey? 1. Did you ever fantasize about being a pirate? 2. What would you do if you were a pirate? What would your ship be called? 3. Imagine: you're in a vicious sword fight, and your deadly opponent shouts a painful insult: "You fight like a dairy farmer!" You obviously need to come up with a counter-insult to his insult! What would your counter-insult be? 4. You said you like to drink at parties, now and then. Would ye like to drink GROG, like a real pirate??? Fair winds to ye, matey, and make those blaggard trolls walk the plank! Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate.

^-- There's a time for serious inquiries, and there's a time for tomfoolery. Imho, there's too few non-serious questions like this in the Mailbag lately. C'mon, not all letters need to be about gays and aspergers, guys :) --GokuGetEm 09:58, 22 December 2009 (CET)

From: Aldof Meyer (AMeyer1950@APA.org) Hello, Christian. I enjoy Sonichu on my days off from work. However, as a professional psychologist, I have to say your attacks on Asperger's Syndrome are rather odd. Especially the Most Terrible Cut of Meat" argument. Dr. Hans Asperger's name was Austrian, and Dr. Asperger himself was a very kind and earnest man. If his name were, say, Eselbrötchen, then I could see your offense, but, the name is arbitrary. It could have been anyone's last name, even mine! It bothers me that if the syndrome were called, say, Jackson's Syndrome it would bother you less. If you won't change your views on the disease, then, please, leave the late Dr. Asperger out of it. With respect, Aldor Meyer, Ph.D

^ Eselbrötchen, very roughly, is German for ass "bread-roll". I was wondering what calling him out on "The Worst Cut of Meat" would get us anywhere, so I focused entirely on that part to hopefully avoid the Autism Mailbag. Inside joke: Dr. Meyer died 30 years before Dr. Asperger. --OFSheep 05:57, 23 December 2009 (CET)