Difference between revisions of "Semen"

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{{Articleofthenow}}
{['''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).
{{Honest}}
[[Image:CWCcomeuppancemedallion.JPG|thumb|right|250px|The closest [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] will ever get to touching the [[Medallion|Medallion of Fail]].]]


'''Semen''' is a fluid secreted in the [[duck]]s and [[pickle]]s of males and [[tomgirl]]s, used primarily to impregnate females, or to simply release while [[mass debating]]. [[Chris]] has many misconceptions about its purpose and function.
They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.


Despite being "[[honest]]" about [[sex]], Chris is sometimes uncomfortable saying "semen" and occasionally uses his own unique expurgated terms, shown below.
== CHANNELS ==
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.


==Comeuppance==
== EVENTS ==
In the context of sex (especially oral) with his [[TRUE and HONEST]] [[sweetheart]], Chris refers to ejaculation as "comeuppance," as seen here:
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene.  These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


{{quote|Uh, it just feels so good, unngghh, and because me being a [[virgin]], I would let you keep your mouth over my penis and then sooner than expected, I '''feel my comeuppance''' and I come into your mouth, my semen is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop.|Chris, "My First Time"<ref name="Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted">[[Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted]]</ref>}}
In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.


{{quote|Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]]}}
== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES ==
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition.  Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.


Chris presumably coined the term because a) ejaculating can also be referred to as "coming", b) it goes "up" when it comes out of his bent [[duck]], and c) he's an [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]]. However, this created a shitstorm when his sex tapes dropped, because [[Wikipedia:Webster's Dictionary|Webster's]] defines comeuppance as "a deserved rebuke or penalty."<ref>http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/comeuppance</ref> While Chris most likely heard this word and thought it would make a clever euphemism for "cum", the true meaning and its context seems to suggest an eerie [[Wikipedia:Freudian slip|Freudian slip]].
* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
* GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)  
* GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
* GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN


==A tasty treat==
GRAND DAD IS LOVE
[[File:Sonichu - Advertisement, Got Milk?.jpg|thumb|200px|No caption is necessary.]]
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER
==GOOBY==
<big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big>[[Image:Zzzzzasdf.png|thumb|GOOBY]]</big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big>


Chris believes that whatever he eats changes the flavor of semen, which may have some basis in fact.<ref>http://ezinearticles.com/?Sperm-Taste---10-Simple-Tips-For-Better-Tasting-Semen&id=164106</ref> However, what makes this ridiculous is that [[honor roll|Chris thinks his semen will taste ''exactly'' like whatever he eats.]] He has indicated that he would strive for flavored comeuppance so his sweetheart/cum dumpster would savor the taste. In the sex tape audio, Chris presented the following scenario to [[PandaHalo]]:


{{quote|I would have eaten so much chocolate, that day beforehand, and it would taste so yummy to you, probably like white chocolate. You'd swallow that.|Chris<ref name="Chris_Sex_Logs#I_am_perverted"/>}}
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more['''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).


In subsequent chats with [[Julie]], this fantasy was revised so that his comeuppance would taste like strawberries.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>
They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.


Coincidentally, sweets and other unhealthy foods are known to make semen taste even worse than usual. Chocolate is one of the worst offenders.
== CHANNELS ==
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.


==Recycling==
== EVENTS ==
{{quote|Mmm! Goes down salty.|Chris<ref>[[Chris's Big Night Out]]</ref>}}
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene.  These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


Another tidbit revealed in the sex tapes was that when Chris mass debates, he makes sure to ejaculate into a [[Fapcup|plastic cup]], to avoid making a mess.<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#Chris on Masturbation and the Sex Joke]]</ref> Shortly after this news broke, talk began to grow that Chris actually drinks from this cup.
In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.


The initial assumption, given Chris's hard stance on [[homos]], was that Chris was a devout, fundamentalist Christian and therefore had a rigid interpretation of the Biblical story of [[Wikipedia:Onan|Onan]]<ref>http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan</ref> (This was before we found out Chris [[Chris and religion|wouldn't know anything about the Bible]] unless he heard it on ''[[Family Guy]]''). Eventually the real reason was discovered: Chris believes that by ingesting his own sperm he can "recycle" it, so that none of his potential children are lost, and so that his "semen count" (presumably he meant "sperm count") remains high, as though everyone is born with a finite number of sperm that they can eventually run out of if they don't swallow more. He may have learned this about egg cells, which DO have a finite quantity, and confused the two.
== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES ==
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.


For a time there was no concrete evidence to support this outrageous claim, so Chris wisely decided to confirm it as fact. Multiple times.
* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
* GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
* GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
* GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN


[21:08] [11:36:35 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: have you ever tasted your own semen
GRAND DAD IS LOVE
[21:08] [11:37:42 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: KEEP IT SECRET, but I actually have; I recycle my semen             
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
until I get together with my Sweetheart (you) for the first time.
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
[21:08] [11:38:10 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: ohhhh.. so that's why you do it in a cup
FOR MEMES
[21:08] [11:38:38 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: yes; after recycle, I rinse the cup and dispose of it.
FOR VINESAUCE
[21:10] [11:40:03 AM] Sarah Cassandra McKenzie says: where did you come up with the idea of swallowing
AND FOR
your own semen to recycle it after you cummed? Was it on a sex site or your own idea?
SILVAGUNNER
[21:10] [11:40:13 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: MY OWN IDEA.
==GOOBY==
[21:12] [11:41:23 AM] Christopher C.W.C. says: IMHO, it's often unsatisfying to me upon swallowing,
<big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big>[[Image:Zzzzzasdf.png|thumb|GOOBY]]</big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big>
because it's not being truly enjoyed by my Sweetheart.


'''FACT''': If swallowing is "often unsatisfying" for Chris, that means that sometimes [[homos|it ''is'' satisfying]].


Not convinced? Try this:
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more['''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).


{{quote|Uh, no, I don't think so, uh, because I've done that [drinking semen after masturbating], it's called "recycling it." Yeah, so it's basically recycling so, like uh, so he doesn't necessarily lose it. I mean, 'cause you know, if you think of it as a waste if you banged it out and then you, uh and then you flushed it down the commode or leave it in the condom in the garbage can...Though personally, I've been getting sick of swallowing my own, so lately I've been disposing of them.|Chris, [[Mumble 8|Mumble chat, 17 February 2009]]}}
They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.


[[Image:Recycle.jpg|thumb|right|Yes, he really does it...]]
== CHANNELS ==
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.


When [[Bob]] described a youthful adventure (c. [[Pre-1980#1940s|1948]]) from his youth to [[Emily]], Chris blurted out ''" I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!"''<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>, which implies that he believes the sperm cell that became him in mid-1981 had existed for over thirty years, and had presumably been ejaculated and recycled by his father many, many times. Although, some might argue that's the reason for Chris's [[Chris and Reality|insanity]] to this very day.
== EVENTS ==
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


''Still'' not convinced? Chris made a [[April 16 Fetish Vids|video]] for [[Ivy]] of himself drinking his jizz, which [[Clyde Cash]] leaked on 16 April 2009.<ref>http://www.slutload.com/watch/M20g7MWCNa5/Chris-chan-Fanta-and-Cum.html</ref> Chris had previously alleged that his semen would take on the flavor of any sort of fruits or sweets he recently consumed. So eating strawberries would lead to strawberry flavored semen and eating chocolate would lead to chocolate flavored semen. Ivy wanted him to test this theory. She requested he drink his semen and compare it to chocolate syrup. In the video, Chris explains that he doesn't have any chocolate milk [sic] handy. Instead, he mixed it with some orange Fanta, completely missing the point of her request was to compare the flavor.
In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.


Just to make sure everyone on Earth knows about it, Chris later made a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] admitting and justifying the existence of the cum-guzzling footage.
== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES ==
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition.  Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.


{{quote|I recycle my own semen, because, uh, you know, yes I do masturbate--I'm not ashamed to admit it--as a lot of guys, I'm sure, have done the same thing in their time. Anyway, uh, basically I--yeah, into the cup and--yeah, I recycle it. So that that way I won't lose any, uh, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|unborn]] [[Reginald Chandler|children]]. So then I can--then I can also still have a good number of...a good semen count. Keep maintain that by recycling it.|Chris, defending the rights of the unborn, 28 April 2009}}
* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
* GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)  
* GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
* GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN


Chris has some advice for all you men out there too:
GRAND DAD IS LOVE
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER
==GOOBY==
<big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big>[[Image:Zzzzzasdf.png|thumb|GOOBY]]</big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big>


{{quote|And depending on the taste of it, uh, to the original owners...of the--their respective semen, uh, it's a good idea to recycle, but if, uh, you don--if you don--if you feel uncomfortable, uh, doing it or it tastes bad to you, then, uh, then you don't have to do it.|Chris, [[Chris and his ego|giving everyone his permission to not swallow semen]], 28 April 2009}}


Questions remain about his recycling plan. If he doesn't want to lose even a single unborn child, does that mean he plans to eventually father millions of children? Is he really dumb enough to believe his navy will survive digestion? (That's a rhetorical question.) And what happens to the comeuppance he wants to leave in his sweetheart's mouth? Does that magically teleport back where it came from, or can women get pregnant from oral sex? The world may never know.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more['''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).


In the Kacey calls, Chris has also suggested interest in drinking his semen for arousal:
They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.


[[File:Heathchris.png|thumb|left|He's bad news.]]
== CHANNELS ==
[[File:Autographed Photo 9.jpg|thumb|Heaven in a can.]]
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.
{{quote|And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!|Chris, [[Kacey Phone Call]], after describing how he would titfuck Kacey}}
{{Clear}}


In [[Mailbag 30]], Chris announced that he had [[Mailbag_30#Chris quit guzzling cum|kicked the habit]], although the validity of this statement is questionable at best, considering his [[List of Chris's lies|track record]] for telling the truth.
== EVENTS ==
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene.  These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


===Fapcup===
In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.


[[Image:Fapcup.jpg|thumb|left|Wild FAPCUP appeared!]]
== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES ==
[[Image:Fapcup original.jpg|thumb|The original Fapcup in action.]]
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.


{{quote|So yeah anyway, well, pump it down with one or both of my hands at the moment until I feel, until I feel the sensation... where I feel I'm about to lose it, and then it all, it all just the stuff, yeah, yeah, some of my semen comes out. I don't - I don't like to make a mess, so I-... so I-- when I come I have a '''clean plastic cup''' [emphasis added] by my side and I just make sure to put all of my semen in the cup there.|Chris on the fapcup<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20110119074320/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:OrangeMarmalade#I_am_perverted</ref>}}
* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
* GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
* GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
* GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN


'''Fapcup''' is [[troll]] slang for the plastic cup Chris used to drink his own [[semen]].
GRAND DAD IS LOVE
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER
==GOOBY==
<big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big>[[Image:Zzzzzasdf.png|thumb|GOOBY]]</big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big>


You can witness the utilization of the fapcup [http://www.filedropper.com/jizz here], but you don't want to.


In [[Mailbag 30]], published on New Year's of [[2010]], Chris claimed he no longer drinks his own semen.<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Chris quit guzzling cum]]</ref>
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
 
==Donation==
While Chris might have learned that swallowing semen has no effect on sperm count, he remains concerned about his fertility and how to maintain it. This unease became acute in 2014 when he realized that he had a "female soul," and became obsessed with getting a sex-change operation. While he wanted to become a woman as soon as possible, he would first need to produce his God-promised daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. This required him to find an external receptacle for his sperm, either a medical facility or a surrogate mother. Deeply confused as usual, he either believed that he would still have pseudo-parental rights after the donation; or he cared only about fulfilling God's promise, not actual maternal responsibilities.
 
What made this transition even more urgent was the collapse of his relationship with [[Catherine]]. While the details are currently murky, the erosion of their relationship in the second week of October seems to have convinced him that she might not become his [[Sweetheart]] and be willing to bear Crystal. Therefore, he would need to find an alternative route to Crystal's conception, and fast, so that he could lop off his Ugly Growth as soon as possible.
 
Chris therefore made several efforts to donate his sperm, all of which failed. Some time in the fall, he applied to be a sperm donor at Fairfax Cryobank. His application was rejected on 12 November, which he revealed on Facebook a week later. Typically, he blamed the facility for discriminating against autistic individuals, denying that [[autism]] is a hereditary disease.
 
{{quote|There is no such thing as a 100% healthy individual with 100% healthy DNA, so the sperm bank is lying to its recipients when they "guarantee" their sperm. There is no way to reliably figure out which combinations of DNA from sperm and egg will likely give which results. Everybody is carrying something; so why discriminate against me, and by extension, other autistic people?
 
Their whole "your DNA is no good- begone!" explanation is utter bullshit.|Chris, Facebook, 20 November 2014<ref>[[November 2014 Facebook Posts]]</ref>}}
 
 
Saddened, he turned to his gal-pal Renee, informing her, "My donor application got rejected. So, I'm stuck in searching for a woman to have my daughter (if not Catie)." He magnanimously decided against putting this burden on her, a woman he had known for about a month. "I would ask you, but you're going through a LOT right now, and I wouldn't want to bother you about it."<ref>[[Open Relationship E-mails|Renee E-mails]]</ref>
 
He then turned to '''VoyForums'''(http://www.voy.com), a nationwide free public message board. On 20 November he posted:
 
{{quotebox|
'''Date Posted:''' 00:30:39  11/20/14
 
'''Author:''' Christine Weston Chandler (Happy)
 
'''Subject:''' <3 Ruckersville/Charlottesville, VA, USA, able sperm donor for lesbian couples.
 
Hello, ladies. I am a female, lesbian soul, trapped in a born male body, or a Lesbian Transwoman, if you will. I want to help out in my LGBT community by dontating my essence to lesbian couples. It is Totally Awesome that y'all can legally marry in VA now. Anyhow, I am game for helping in Artificial or Natural (preferred) Insemination. I am a good person, and great in getting to know as well. I also would like to be an active parent for the child(ren), if permitted. I am a really caring individual. And I am very serious in my donating. Please, shoot me an email for your serious inquiries and whatnot; I will be happy to provide my more direct contact information via email in response as well.}}
 
Here we see that his desire to make a daughter conveniently overlaps with his fantasies of a three-way lesbian fuckfest and actually having a relationship.
 
In [[February 2016]], it was revealed that Chris had been storing his semen in plastic containers delicately located in his fridge for safe keeping, right next to his family's food. <ref>[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]</ref> This method of cryopreservation, however, doesn't work.
 
To date, no one has taken Chris up on his offer, and his sperm remains within his [[Chris and health|accursed]] male body. It is possible that the HRT he has been taking since 2015 destroyed what was left of his fertility and sex drive, speculation which is supported by [[All Star|his third sex tape]] showing that he had difficult getting an erection in spite of masturbating for three minutes straight. In light of the [[Affair with Mother|incest]] case, however, it is possible that he stopped taking his HRT for [[COVID-19|various reasons]], and thus regained his natural sex drive.
 
==Fan Videos==
 
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
|name = 1991 PSA: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Featuring Chris Chan???
|ytid = ssADXdLsXSc
|stardate = 8 Dec 2021
|maker = sheWIND
}}
 
== Sources ==
<references/>
 
==See also==
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[April 16 Fetish Vids]]
 
{{Love quest}}
{{Health}}
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]
[[Category:Things Chris likes]]

Revision as of 18:37, 24 January 2022

{[THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are not official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).

They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.

CHANNELS

The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.

EVENTS

The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.

In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.

HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES

Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.

  • GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
  • GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
  • GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
  • GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN

GRAND DAD IS LOVE GRAND DAD IS LIFE GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI FOR MEMES FOR VINESAUCE AND FOR SILVAGUNNER

GOOBY

File:Zzzzzasdf.png
GOOBY


Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more[THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are not official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).

They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.

CHANNELS

The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.

EVENTS

The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.

In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.

HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES

Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.

  • GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
  • GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
  • GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
  • GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN

GRAND DAD IS LOVE GRAND DAD IS LIFE GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI FOR MEMES FOR VINESAUCE AND FOR SILVAGUNNER

GOOBY

File:Zzzzzasdf.png
GOOBY


Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more[THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are not official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).

They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.

CHANNELS

The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.

EVENTS

The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.

In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.

HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES

Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.

  • GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
  • GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
  • GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
  • GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN

GRAND DAD IS LOVE GRAND DAD IS LIFE GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI FOR MEMES FOR VINESAUCE AND FOR SILVAGUNNER

GOOBY

File:Zzzzzasdf.png
GOOBY


Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more[THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are not official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).

They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.

CHANNELS

The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.

EVENTS

The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.

In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.

HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES

Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.

  • GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
  • GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
  • GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
  • GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN

GRAND DAD IS LOVE GRAND DAD IS LIFE GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI FOR MEMES FOR VINESAUCE AND FOR SILVAGUNNER

GOOBY

File:Zzzzzasdf.png
GOOBY


Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

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