Difference between revisions of "Sonichu's Edge"

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
m (Updating video templates, minor fixes, markup standardization)
Line 1: Line 1:
[[Image:Mirror's Edge.jpg|thumb|left|The truth about the video title]]
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
[[Image:Parkay.jpg|thumb|Chris wishes he were eating this instead]]
[[Image:Sonichu's Edge.png|thumb|Artist's depiction]]


"'''Sonichu's Edge'''" (officially "'''Sonichu's Edge.MP4'''") is a video uploaded on 3  [[December 2009]], in which [[Chris]] goes "[[Father Call|jogging]]". The title is a not-too-subtle [[parody]] of the 3-D platformer ''[[Wikipedia: Mirror's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]''.


Based on the accompanying [[3 December 2009|Captain's Log]], he made this to show that he is "pumped up for [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|pushing Sonichu out into merchandise]]." This video proves that Chris has no idea what "jogging" is. He is sprinting (for him) in this video, obviously missing the point of jogging (a slow, easy run). Chris inserts obvious jump cuts at 1:30, 1:58, 2:25, 3:00, 3:22 and 3:42, where he's run out of breath and needs a break due to how [[Chris and health#Exercise|out of shape he is]].


Chris confuses the acrobatic sport [[Wikipedia:Parkour|parkour]] with the squeezable margarine brand [[Wikipedia:Parkay|Parkay]]. He also confuses "light jogging" with "parkour" in general.


One can only imagine what the innocent citizens of [[Charlottesville]] must have thought as a fat, sweaty retard went puffing by at a little over walking pace with a camera dangling from his obese neck.


An email in [[Mailbag 16]] pointed out that Chris ran about 579 metres (529 yards) in three and a half minutes, at a snail's pace of 2.8&nbsp;m/s (6&nbsp;mph / 10&nbsp;km/h), nowhere near the 5 miles (8&nbsp;km) he claimed. Chris seems unable to estimate measurements of length and time.


Chris has [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris lies about how much he can run|declined to record another running video]], blaming the battery in his camera.


==Video==




{{Infobox/video
| name          = Sonichu's Edge
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|AJn_UE3kTrM}}
| stardate      = 3 [[December 2009]]
| subject        = {{Power|text}}
| shirt          = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous      = [[3 December 2009]]
| next          = [[Holiday Greetings]]
}}
{{quote|There may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my breath. Of course that's what you expect, even from the best runner.}}


=== Transcript ===


[''Brandishes [[Amnyfest Ring]]''] Hello there, [[fans]]! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown [[mall]], where for the [[Sonichu]] franchise and city of [[CWCville]], and everything like that, I'm gonna do [[Chris and English|a Parkay]] from this point [''camera spins around to show some sidewalks''] all the way down to the gara—parking garage [''Camera spins back to Chris''] where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held. And for this viewing, the camera will be hung around my neck right about here. [''Gestures to the [[Sonichu medallion]]''] To get—see what I see from that point of view. And, also, uh, there may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my—my breath. [[Obesity|Of course that's what you expect]], [[Chris and reality|even from the best runner]].


[''Jump cut. Camera is now apparently hanging around Chris's neck. Chris's hand comes into frame for a second for him to flash the Amnyfest Ring.'']


Alright, here we go!


'''0:42-1:20''' Chris begins running, relatively slowly. His path seems to be pretty erratic.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>


'''1:21-1:30''' Chris enters a populated area. Though the jerky camera makes it difficult to see, several people seem to stop and stare at him. At 1:28, Chris's heavy breathing becomes audible.


'''1:31-1:44''' First jump cut. For those keeping score, Chris stops to rest after forty-eight seconds of jogging. He continues through the shopping center, his hands occasionally coming into frame.


'''1:45-1:46''' Chris goes in between some trees.


'''1:47-1:58''' Chris's breathing starts becoming heavy again.


'''1:59-2:15''' Second jump cut. Chris runs past a happy couple, and then runs down some stairs.


'''2:16-2:25''' Chris passes by a large [[Christmas]] tree. Around 2:20, his movement begins to slow down considerably.


'''2:26-2:33''' Third jump cut.


'''2:34-2:41''' Relaxing [[guitar]] music fades in and out as Chris passes a band of street musicians.


'''2:42-2:54''' Chris continues onwards.


'''2:55-3:00''' Chris runs past a small bus.


'''3:01-3:16''' Fourth jump cut. Chris runs through some decorative trees.


'''3:17-3:21''' Chris rounds a corner, and approaches an open door.


'''3:22-3:32''' Fifth jump cut. Chris is now inside a building. He trudges up some stairs, clearly walking.


'''3:33-3:42''' Chris passes someone going in the opposite direction. He continues upwards.
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>


'''3:43-3:50''' Sixth jump cut. Chris apparently reaches the 4th floor and exits a door into the blinding sunlight.


'''3:51-4:10''' Chris is now on the top level of a parking structure. He runs across the parking area. Around 4:05 his breathing becomes very heavy. At 4:10, he reaches his destination. The camera shows a large tented area on the ground far below.


See? Amphitheater. [''Camera spins around back to Chris, who flashes the peace sign''] Thank you for your [[trolling|continued support]]!


==Remixes==


{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = The Chris-Chanos
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|AbWn-WsljB0}}
| stardate      = 4 [[December 2009]]
| maker          = KrappleGuy
| subject        = Sonichu's Edge
| type          = (TV) Parody
| info          = Spoofs the opening to ''[[Wikipedia:The Sopranos|The Sopranos]]''
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Sonichu's Edge
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|eGKCSS-QUkE}}
| stardate      = 4 [[December 2009]]
| maker          = IBAClydeCash
| subject        = Sonichu's Edge
| type          = (VG) Parody
| info          = Replaces Faith with [[Chris]].
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Run Virgin Run
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|o1ZgUfmI2vU}}
| stardate      = 4 [[December 2009]]
| maker          = tehcosmicexplorer08
| subject        = Sonichu's Edge
| type          = Dramatic remix
| info          = ''[[Wikipedia:Run Lola Run|Lola Rennt]]'' soundtrack
}}
==See also==
*[[3 December 2009]]


==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=104235379233340359048.000479de54a1731a2b512 Chris's Route as detailed by Google Maps]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N1TJP1cxmo What Chris is failing to imitate]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuqRS3KVnQs CWC Doodle- Parkay]


{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[3 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings]]|}}
{{Power videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]


[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-03]]
 
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-03]]
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>

Revision as of 00:42, 28 September 2011

NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER







NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER







NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER








NIGGER
Retrieved from "http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sonichu%27s_Edge&oldid=148718"