Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4

This is the fourth of the seven leaked phone calls between Chris and Alec Benson Leary, creator of Asperchu. Here, they mainly discuss the apology video that Alec required of Chris as a condition for removing Asperpedia's advertisements from the front page of the CWCipedia.

Chris's attitude throughout the conversation is that of a small child being disciplined. He clearly feels no remorse for the various insults and death threats he's thrown at Alec and his associates, and he seems to barely even understand why Evan wants him to stop abusing his Simonchu character. He also apparently thinks that everyone should automatically believe his "retraction" of the truth about Simonla Rosechu's origins.

Alec attempts to explain the concepts of parody and plagiarism to Chris through a simple object lesson, but it's obvious that nothing sinks in. Chris doesn't seem to have any grasp of the issue beyond believing that he should be able to do what he wants, while others should do what he wants them to.

Towards the end of the call, Chris takes off on a tangent, demanding that Alec make some sort of concessions as far as his parodies of Chris's characters in the Asperchu comics. Alec cuts him off short, however, refusing to agree to anything until Chris delivers his apology.

Said apology would take the form of the video Chris released on 5 February 2010, where he mechanically read from a script hitting some of the points that Alec asked him to. There, he showed about as much remorse as he does here, which is to say none at all.

Transcript

[We join the conversation in progress.]

Chris: ...that at him.
Alec: Yeah, well, you guess...guess what, Chris. Those ads aren't going anywhere until you answer a few questions of mine. 'Cause I'm sick of being nice to you.
Chris: What are you...
Alec: I've been nice...
Chris: Well, what are your questions?
Alec: I've been nice to you for too long. Well, first of all, your apology video. Completely unsatisfactory. You didn't mention anything of what you were apologizing for. You just said, "Oh, I'm apologizing for some of the things I said." Is that supposed to include the death threats, Chris? 'Cause you should probably mention that specifically.
Chris: Yes, it did include the past death threats.
Alec: Okay, well, I think you should make a better apology video, and in your second apology video...
Chris: Okay.
Alec: ...I want you to, um, not spend 80 percent of the video making demands of me. 'Cause, see, an apology video should be just that. It should be apologizing for when you did something wrong. Do you think you've done something wrong to me, Chris? Do you think you have? I think you have.
Chris: Do I think I have, do I think I have done anything wrong to you?
Alec: Yes. Do you think that?
Chris: Why yes I, yes, I admit that I have done wrong to you, Alec.
Alec: Okay.
Chris: By mis-, by mislabelings and, and mistakes and errors, and I apologize for that.
Alec: Mislabelings. Kinda like what a troll would do. Isn't that right? Why don't you list all the things you did wrong? List them specifically. 'Cause, 'cause I want to make sure. You know, I don't want to just tell you to make a more specific video if you don't know specifically. So please list the things you think you did wrong to me.
Chris: Okay, I will. [pause]
Alec: I'm waiting.
Chris: Do you mean...
Alec: I mean list now, I'd like to hear you say now.
Chris: Alright Alec, I'm sorry for mislabeling you, and giving you your, giving you death threats.
Alec: What did you mislabel me as, Chris?
Chris: [sighs, his tone becomes exasperated] Mislabeling, mislabeling you as a villain type of person.
Alec: Yeah, yeah, that was pretty bad of you, wasn't it?
Chris: Yeah. [pause]
Alec: Okay, continue.
Chris: Alright. Anything else?
Alec: I'm asking you, I'm asking you to continue with the list.
Chris: Oh. [Chris pauses, sighs heavily, then begins to mutter under his breath.] Uh, let's see, death threats, mislabeling, calling you, making you out like a villain...
Alec: How about, uh...here's a hint. Uhm, is there, is there anyone close to me? A friend, perhaps, that maybe you've mislabeled as well? That you've done wrong against? Can you think of any?
Chris: Let me guess, Evan?
Alec: You got it right, you got it right. You have wronged Evan. Do you know how you have wronged Evan?
Chris: [sigh, long pause] For labeling him as...
Alec: Not that hard.
Chris: ...the origin point for Simonla
Alec: Um, no, actually. Actually, that was the correct thing. That was the one correct thing you did, was labeling him as the origin point of Simonla, 'cause that's what he was.
Chris: Okay.
Alec: What's the wrong thing you did to him?
Chris: Hm... I yelled at him too! Then you made that...
Alec: [talking over Chris] Uh, there's a, there's a bigger issue. You stole, you stole Simonchu from him. There, I gave that one to you. And you won't give his character back. What do you think of that?
Chris: He can have, he can have his Simonchu!
Alec: Simonla. Simonla is Simonchu. You just, you just took his Simonchu and twisted it around.
Chris: No I did not. Simonla is not Simonchu.
Alec: That's what your Simonchu article on your CWCipedia says. Says Simonla is based off Simonchu.
Chris: Well, I don't know...
Alec: [talking over Chris again] You know, Chris, I find this... Chris. I told you last time. It doesn't matter if you go changing the article now. That doesn't change what was in the past. You cannot write a new article in the present and change what happened in the past. You used Simonchu as is the basis of Simonla.
Chris: Yes I can, I can call a retraction to that. Yes I can, I called a retraction!
Alec: Simonla is based off Simonchu. Doesn't matter. Okay, Chris, let me, let me think of an example for you. Let's say that I take Family Guy and, you know Peter Griffin on Family Guy? Let's say that I make a comic and I just use Peter Griffin as my main character in my comic. And I do that for a few years. And then Seth McFarlane comes knockin' on my door and says, "Hey, you didn't ask for permission to use Peter Griffin." Do you think it's okay for me to just right then change it and say, "Oh, okay, I'm just gonna pretend like I never based my Peter Griffin off of Family Guy." Do you think that would solve the problem? You can't retract a fact!
Chris: I guess... Hm.
Alec: Does that make sense? I find it, I think, personally, I am most offended by your accusations of me stealing your Sonichu, and of Asperchu being a theft of you and all of that, when all along you have been stealing Simonchu from someone else. Why is plagiarism okay for you, if it's not okay for anyone else? Why is "parody"...
Chris: Sorry, I'm not, I'm just...
Alec: Okay, Chris, why is "parody" and plagiarism, why are those concepts okay for you to do, but they're not okay for anyone else to do? Will you tell me that?
Chris: Hmm. Hmm. Okay, I guess I cannot think of a good answer for that.
Alec: Yeah. That's because there really isn't one. You understand that, right? The same rules have to apply to everyone. You don't get different rules than other artists. You need to atone for your mistakes.
Chris: Yeah...
Alec: I want you to, one of these things I want you to do before I take, have Mao take down the ads. I want you to, in your comic, issue a full apology to Evan, and admit that Simonla and Simonchu are not your characters, and you used them wrongfully, without his permission, and you are going to retire them. Not really that hard to do. I mean, Simonla hasn't even appeared in your comic recently, so it's not like you're, you're gonna hurt your plotline if you just issue an admission that you're not gonna use her anymore.
Chris: Hmm. Well, I'll think about that.
Alec: Not good enough. My ads aren't going down unless you say yes to that. That's one of my conditions. I have several. Because I've got several problems with you.
Chris: Yep. Anyway, yeah, I will think about that.
Alec: Okay. Another problem, I want you to apologize to me for calling me naïve.
Chris: Okay, I will try...
Alec: You remember when I tried to talk to you about that?
Chris: Yeah, I'm sorry for calling you...
Alec: You remember when I tried to talk to you about that, when you hung up on me? Because you think "naïve" is such a horrible insult...
Chris: Okay, I'm sorry I called you naïve.
Alec: Do you believe I am naïve?
Chris: ...I'm sorry for calling you naïve. No, I do not believe you are naïve.
Alec: Well, good. You know, I don't think "naïve" is that bad of a word, but what means the most is that you think it's a bad thing, and you still used it.
Chris: Hmm.
Alec: You meant it to be a horrible insult, that's the problem here. I want you to put that in your new apology video for me.
Chris: Okay.
Alec: You might want to get a pen and paper and just write these things down, because there's a few points here. I don't want you to forget any of them.
Chris: Yeah. I owe you an, I'm going to...
Alec: You can't just apologize to me over the phone, you have...
Chris: Yeah, I'm writing it down.
Alec: Okay. Are you writing it down now?
Chris: Yeah.
Alec: What are the main things that I want you to do? List them off to me, just so I know that you're with me so far.
Chris: Okay, I'm apologizing for giving you death, for cursing you, giving you death threats, calling you naïve...
Alec: Mm-hm. What else are you going to do for me?
Chris: [angry short sigh] Labeling your comics as plagiaration of my Sonichu character and myself. And apologizing to Evan.
Alec: You're going to admit that Asperchu is original?
Chris: I'll admit Asperchu is your original character.
Alec: And what else about Evan? You're going to apologize to him, but what else are you going to do for him?
Chris: Yeah...yeah, I'm going to apologize to him, and he can have his Simonchu.
Alec: Yes, he can have it, but what are you going to do? You're going to admit publicly that Simonchu is not yours to use, and you were wrong to do it. Right?
Chris: Right. Simonchu is not mine.
Alec: You're gonna put that in the video, and I also want you to put that in the comic.
Chris: Yeah. Alright.
Alec: Good. I'm glad. We're getting somewhere, Chris. I'm glad about this.
Chris: Okay.
Alec: It feels like you're finally starting to listen to me a little bit, because you haven't been listening to me.
Chris: Yeah.
Alec: You know, I thought about what you said. About how Asperchu wouldn't like to be named Asperchu. I thought that I might write it into my comic, I might have Asperchu say that he likes his name. That would probably clear that problem up, don't you think?
Chris: Uh... I guess so.
Alec: Because I don't... Does that make sense to you? 'Cause I don't know if I believe this "comic characters are real" thing, but in case they are, you know, that's a good way to go, wouldn't you agree?
Chris: Fairly.
Alec: Fairly? Makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, if Asperchu says, out loud, he likes his name, then there's no way he could be lying.
Chris: Hmm.
Alec: I mean, you're always filling in Sonichu's speech bubbles, so whatever Sonichu says must be correct, right? Sonichu says he likes something, then he likes something. So if Asperchu says, in my comic, that he likes his name, then he likes his name.
Chris: Okay, then.
Alec: Wouldn't you agree?
Chris: I thought, yeh, yeah, as long as, yeah, okay, well, just don't make any references of, you know, of my city of CWCville, or saying that my, my original Sonichu is related to Asperchu. Just, you know... [sigh]
Alec: Um, well, like we talked about...
Chris: You know, okay, this is like, you know, say, like, you know... Yeah. I'm just saying that they're not the original characters and just...
Alec: Like we talked about before, well, you already admitted that, you already stated that the Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo and everything else that appears in my comic are just copies or not connected to you. So it really doesn't matter what I do with my Sonichu and my CWCville and all that, does it?
Chris: No.
Alec: 'Cause they're different that yours.
Chris: Your CWCville is mine and the Chaotic Combo is mine. They're, they originally were mine.
Alec: You said the ones that I'm using is different, though. That's the one that you tried to steal from me, remember?
Chris: [heavy sigh]
Alec: You should probably also add this to your list, actually, you should probably apologize for stealing things from me, all the while you're trying to fight me stealing things from you. I think that's a good thing to add to your apology list.
Chris: Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, okay, well, just do me a favor for, okay, before the re-creation of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in your book, just, just establish that they're not the ones from CWCville, they're just from another, they're from...
Alec: I'm not gonna consider doing a damn thing for you until I see this apology video and I'm satisfied with it.
Chris: Alright, you will see the apology video.
Alec: Because I know you've weaseled out of apologies before.
Chris: Yeah.
Alec: If I'm not satisfied with the apology video, I'm gonna call you back and tell you that you need to do it again. So you might as well do it correct. Exactly correct the first time around.
Chris: Yeah. Okay. I get it.
Alec: Does that sound fair to you?
Chris: Yeah. I'll get to work on that, and, uh, I'll have it up late tonight.
Alec: Tonight, tomorrow, whenever you want. It's your schedule.
Chris: Okay. Alright, I gotta go now. You take care, bye-bye.

See also

• The Alec and Chris Phone Calls