Christian Weston Chandler
Behold, the mistake of God. Chris-chan (AKA: Sonichu, CWC, Christian Weston Chandler), born February 24, 1982, is a perverse, gay, overweight, self-proclaimed "high-functioning autistic" virgin man-child, and creator of his own awesomely drawn series of comics starring his brilliant crossover of Pikachu and Sonic.
Chris wears a medallion around his neck in homage to his yellow Sonic recolor, In public. As if that weren't lame enough, Chris-chan actually has three a shit load of medallions: The Black Sonichu medallion, and a Rosechu medallion (which he planned on giving to his sweetheart), suggesting that he has far too much free time on his hands. Triple, in fact, the amount originally suspected.
His hobbies include creating My Little Pony figures with his own hair, stalking women at the mall, finding a "Boyfriend-Free girl to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up", drawing (and actually uploading) pictures of himself having sex with his only friend, drawing porn of his hedgehogs, and recently, taking naked pictures of himself. It gets far worse, my friends...
Early Life
Not all that much is known about Shotachris, aside from a few birthday photos taken from his slideshow and the "Super Sonic Winner" news report. During this time it seems he mostly played the early Sonic games and played with Sarah Hammer.
In a YouTube video of Chris performing a "poem" about himself (see SongOfChristian), Chris reveals that his Autism was caused by being locked in a room by a babysitter, and that he didn't speak for several years afterwards. Or so he says.
We also know that after that incident he was homeschooled, before being quietly thrown back into the public-school system after his parents tired of him.
School
This period of Chris's life is slightly clearer. His life was spent playing video games at home, reading R.L Stine and hanging out with his "gal-pals" and his friend Joe at school. It was at this time that his "creative talents" were put to use, as he invented Bionic The Hedgehog and eventually Sonichu during his high school years. Otherwise, mostly uneventful. He left school with honor roll and the true source of his powers, his high school ring.
He also cried during his graduation, thus ruining it for the entire school.
Love Quest
In 2003, Chris got jealous when his friend Sarah Hammer started dating Wes Iseli. This then inspired an issue in his comic featuring the "anchuent prophecy" and some other stuff intended to win over Sarah.
See Love Quest
Megan
Megan is one of the few girls Chris actually knows IRL, and one whom he put at the forefront of his love quest for quite some time.
See Megan.
Discovery by ED
Chris' rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on 4_cent_garbage. It only took a quick Google of the name to discover the author, and Chris' miserable life was quickly spilled over ED in October, 2007. His life was never the same again,
Chris Today
Chris lives at home with his parents Bob Chandler and Barbara Chandler. He has no job, and instead lives off the $700 he receives from the government (ie. monthly tugboat). He spends his days playing video games, drawing childish comics, harrassing women online, and making statesman-like YouTube videos for the true Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase (ie. no-one).
Religious Views
Chris on Sex
See Chris and sex
Chris and the Law
|
This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |