13 Lucky Writing Tips

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13 lucky writing tips is a school paper detailing a list of techniques to improve your rhetoric. It is likely Chris simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, Switching to languages from Standard written English to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on Spanish. It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error, it is a common problem for learners of a new language to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using assumed cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all that Chris made up.

Transcription

Christian W. Chandler
1/19/99
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:

  1. Use standard written English.
  2. Do not use contractions in formal writing.
  3. You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
  4. The thesis statement es el finallié sentenc estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
  5. Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el [illegible] llama de author y llama de work.
  6. Los paragraphs support y relaté qúe el thesis.
  7. Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
  8. Los details support y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
  9. Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
  10. Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
  11. Necisitas tres muchaco point mirar de pointé.
  12. Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
  13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.

mistakes

"""Line 4""" ""finallié"" would go after ""estancé"" if ""estancé"" was a noun, however estancé literally translates to ""stagnated"", it is clear Chris believes it means sentence, the correct word is ""sentencia"", also the word is ""final"". The Spanish equivalent of introductory is, believably ""introductorio"" and the word for paragraph is ""parráfo"".

"""Line 5""" Chris neglects to conjugate "escribes" into the imperative ""escribe"". The spanish form of ""thesis is spelled ""tesis"". He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of ""incluir"". He uses ""llama"" as the translation for ""name"", anyone who has been to one day at a spanish class likely knows that ""llama"" is a verb and means ""call"", the correct word would be ""nombre"", furthermore, if ""llama"" were a noun it would be feminine and addressed with the feminine article ""la"".

"""Line 6""" Chris uses the words ""support"" and ""relaté"" in lieu of ""apoyan"" and ""relacionan"". Also Erroneusly uses ""paragragh"" and ""thesis"".

"""Line 7""" Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for ""tener""and uses ""paragraph"" and ""estancés as well as the word ""unifying"" when the word is "unificando", also ""unifying" is an adjective and would go after ""concepto"". When the words ""de"" and ""el"" are used consecutively they are combined into ""del"".

"""Line 8""" The spanish word for ""details"" is ""detalles"", Chris also uses ""support, relaté, estancé,"" and ""paragraph"". He uses ""topic"" when he means ""tema"", and doesn't combine ""a"" and ""el"" into ""al"".

"""Line 9""" The word for ""adequate"" is ""adecuado"". He also repeats ""support"" and ""details""

"""Line 10""" The spanish word for ""literature"" is ""literatura"" and is feminine. Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in english and uses ""tense"" when he means "tiempo.

"""Line 11""" Chris begins speaking french somehow, and uses the french word for very ""tres"", and uses ""muchaco"" instead of ""mucho"", literally writing "very boy". He uses ""points""/""pointe"" when he means ""punto"". It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in ""some"" way.

"""Line 12""" This sentence makes no sense, it is not clear what verb he meant but ""creer"" means to think or believe.

"""Line 13""" This may be the most correct line, the spanish word for carefully is cuidadosamente.