Difference between revisions of "All Star"

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{{Honest}}
{{#ev:youtube|tjbbVK6Hkcc}}
[[File:Screenshot-twitter.com-2018.11.18-16-23-55.png|thumb|right|"''Well, the years start coming and they don't stop [[Semen|coming]].''"]]
"'''[[Wikipedia:All Star (song)|All Star]]'''" is a [[1999]] song by [[wikipedia:Smash Mouth|Smash Mouth]]. Widely known as the opening theme of the animated film ''[[Shrek Retold|Shrek]]'', the song has since entered internet meme culture in the last decade thanks to [[Idea Guys|Millennials]]. During the "[[Cryzel Torture]]" chat of 21 [[April 2018]], [[Chris]] uploaded two covers of "All Star" to the [[Idea Guys]] via Discord.
 
Having gained Chris' consent to use his Discord account to aid in the conflict against the Idea Guys, [[Kiwi Farms]] owner Null leaked the SFW version on 13 July.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/cryzel-torture.45450/</ref> Later that year on 18 [[November 2018]], a troll impersonating [[Magi-Chan]] leaked the second, [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] rendition with Chris [[mass debating]] to Chris' [[Twitter]]. The tweet was deleted minutes later, but the video was quickly preserved by Christorians.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/11-18-chriss-twitter-posts-a-video-of-him-jacking-off.50093/</ref> More parts of video would be leaked by the [[Teen Troon Squad]] onto [[/cow/]] on 31 [[December 2018]]<ref>Videos were leaked at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689605 and a Teen Troon Squad member posted at https://8ch.net/cow/res/687691.html#689633</ref>.
 
Notably, Chris sings in the same growling voice that he used to indicate he was singing under duress way back in [[It's UGH!]] (2009).
 
==Singing All Star Part 1==
{{Infobox/video
| name          = Chris chan sings All Star
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|C5j5PSKRSp4}}
| stardate      = 21 [[April 2018]]
| subject        = {{Music|text}}
| style          = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga          = {{Idea Guy|text}}
| shirt          =
| other          = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous      = [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!|Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!]]
| next          = [[All Star#Singing All Star Part 2|All Star Part 2]]
}}
 
===Transcript===
[''Chris makes a [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|constipated grunt]] and the camera briefly gains a green tint. He begins [[Honor roll|reading the lyrics from his phone]] in a similar constipated low growl, with heavy tone variation, and gesticulating wildly.'']
Some-BODY once told me,
 
the WORLD is gonna ROLL ME!
 
I ain't the sharpest [''voice drops to croaking voice''] torl in the sheeeed!
 
She was looking [''Chris gives up on following the melody''] kinda ''dumb''
 
[''Mimes along with the next two lines''] With her ''finger'' and her ''thumb''
 
In the shape of an L, on her foreheeead!
 
 
[''Remembers  the melody again''] Well... the years start comin'
 
And they don't [[Chris and English|starp]] comin'
 
Feh to the rules and they [[TooManyGames|hit the ground]] runnin'
 
It dudn't make sense not to live for fun
 
[''High growl, slurred''] Y'brain gets [[Honor roll|smart]] [''Low growl''] but yer head gets dumb
 
 
So much to do, so much to see,
 
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'
 
You'll never know if you don't go
 
You'll never shine if you don't GLOW
 
 
Hey know, you're an all star
 
Get your game on, go bleh
 
Hurr nurr, yer a ruckstar
 
Get the show on, get beh
 
[''Shakes his phone''] ''And all that glitters is gooold''
 
Only shootin' ''STUURS'' break the ''[[14 Branchland Court|mooold?]]''
 
 
It's a col' place, and they say i'gets col'er
 
Yer bun'led up now until y'ge' ol'er
 
The me'eor men beg t'differ
 
Judgin' by the hole in their satellite picture
 
The ice ge' thay, [''gibberish as he loses his place''] w'er w'er w'er... [''small groan'']
 
[''Picks up the tempo''] W'er's ge'in warm so ya might as well ''swim!''
 
My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?
 
That's the way I like it, I'll never get bore'
 
 
Hey now, you're an all star
 
Getcher game on, go blay
 
Hey now, you're a rockstar
 
Get the show on, get beh
 
[''Begins continuously shaking phone''] An' all that gli'ers is ''gooold!''
 
Only shootin' ''staaars breeeak'' the ''mooold!''
 
 
 
[''Almost 20 seconds of growling, warbling and Hulk Hogan-like arm shaking'']
 
 
 
Hey now, you're an all star
 
Getcher game on, go blay
 
Hey now, you're a rockstar
 
Get yer show on, get bleh
 
[''Poses with arms out and head low''] An' ''ALL'' that gli'ers is ''GOOOL'''
 
[''Another brief growl solo'']
 
Only shootin' ''staaaaaaars...''
 
 
 
Some''bo''dy once-- [''[[Speech Impediment|Unintelligible]]'']
 
[[Ohio trip|Spare some change for gas, I need to get away from]]
 
Self away from this ''place''
 
[''Growls'']
 
I sai', "Yup... ''WHA' CONCE'!''
 
I could use lotta fuel myself!
 
An' we could all use a little [''Leaning towards the camera''] ''chaaange!''"
 
[''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Growl rising in pitch]]'']
 
 
 
Well, the years start comin'
 
And they don't stop comin'
 
I feh to the rules an' I hit the ground ruh
 
Di'n' make sense not to live for fun
 
Yer brain gets smart but yer head gets dumb
 
''So much'' to do, so much t'see
 
So what's wrong with takin' the backstre'
 
Ya never know if you don't go. [''Lurches towards the camera''] '''''GUH-OOH!'''''
 
Ya never knuh if ya don't [''Lurches again, but less intensely''] ''glow''
 
 
 
Hey now, you're an ahrl star
 
Get the game on, go blay
 
Hey now, you're a wock star
 
Get the show on, [[Monthly Tugboat|get pay]]
 
An' all that gli'ers is ''goool'!''
 
[''Growls'']
 
Only shootin' stars break the mol'?
 
An' ''all'' that gli'ers is gold
 
Only shoo'in' stars, break the frickin' ''moooold!''
 
[''Chris makes an extended constipated grunt, picks up the camera, spins around and punches it to the ground.'']
 
==Singing All Star Part 2==
 
{{Infobox/video
| name          = For Shrek's Eyes Only
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|LZMB6TaxGZU}}
| stardate      = 21 [[April 2018]]
| subject        = {{Music|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style          = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| saga          = {{Idea Guy|text}}
| shirt          =
| other          = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous      = [[All Star#Singing All Star Part 1|All Star Part 1]]
| next          = [[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]
}}
 
The uncensored version can be found [https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c2f79f5aa825 here], if you really need to see it.
 
===Description===
{{quotebox|This is how chris pays tribute to his lovers
- The guy in the "bluegras state"
 
You lose farms!}}
 
===Transcript===
{{Transcript}}
 
[''Scene opens to an empty shot of Chris' room with Chris himself just offscreen.'']<br>
I'm just gonna go ahead and boot it up.<br>
[''Silence'']<br>
I'm [''unintelligible''] Magic Chan!<br>
[''More silence'']<br>
Do that real quick, get it out of the way.<br>
[''A few more seconds of silence until you're greeted with the sound of Chris pissing on the floor'']<br>
You do me? I mean..I..You let me do you first, and then I'll let you do me okay Hubby?<br>
[''Pissing continues'']<br>
Get this out of my system.<br>
[''Pissing stops'']<br>
I got one more thing, [''Slap''] ow. [''Unintelligible'']<br>
Sigh.<br>
[''A nude Chris then goes onscreen, stands next to a docked iPhone and then applies hand sanitizer'']<br>
Yes, picking' that up.<br>
For us Hubby.<br>
[''Chris wakes the phone up and All Star begins to play'']<br>
[''Chris sings in a flat monotone voice'']<br>
Some-BODY once told me the world is gonna roll me.<br>
[''He kneels onto the bed and the sining becomes more erratic'']<br>
I ain't the sharpest tool in the sheeeeeed!<br>
She was lookin' kinda dumb with her [''He mimes analingus on an invisible partner''] finger and her thumb-<br>
and the shape of an L on her forehead.<br>
Magibond!<br>
[''Mumbles'']<br>
[''Chris then moves towards the camera and begins to rub his taint while also building a falsetto'']<br>
Your brain gets smart and your head gets dumb!<br>
So much to do so much to see-<br>
So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?<br>
You never know if you don't go.<br>
You never stop if you don't know.<br>
[''For a few seconds he sounds like one of the Bee Gees and then his voice immediately drops back down'']<br>
Hey now! You're an allstar!<br>
[''He switches from taint rubbing to mass debating'']<br>
Get your game on go play!<br>
Hey now! You're a rockstar!<br>
Get the show on, get paid!<br>
And all that glitters is.. [''Sound cuts for a second'']<br>
[''Chris stops rapping and moves over to a body pillow'']<br>
-shootin' stars break the mold!<br>
[''Chris begins to fist the pillow as if it were a partner'']<br>
Cool place, and they say it gets colder.<br>
Bundle up now but you never get older.<br>
[''Mumbles''] satellite picture.<br>
Ice we skate [''Mumbles''] getting warm-<br>
so you might as well swim. [''Mumbles'']<br>
Yours? That's the way I like it and I never get BORED!<br>
[''Chris then gives the pillow doggy style'']<br>
Hey now! You're an allstar! Get the show on, get paid!<br>
HEY now! You're an allstar! Get the show on, get paid!<br>
And all that glitters is gold! Only shooting stars break-<br>
the MOLD! [''Chris sings to the instrumental part while still humping the pillow'']<br>
[''He then switches back to mass debating'']<br>
Rockstar, get the show on get paid!<br>
And all that glitters is GOOOLD!<br>
SHOOTIN' STARS BR-<br>
SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME [''Mumbles'']<br>
Get myself away from this place.<br>
I said yep, what a concept!<br>
[''Mumbles''] All use a little chaaaange!<br>
[''Mumbles''] smart but your head gets dumb<br>
So much to do, so much to see<br>
...what's wrong with TAKING the backstreet?!<br>
Uh, no, fairy snow<br>
Never shine if you don't know!
 
Hey now, you're an all star<br>
Get show on, get paid<br>
Hey now, you're a rock star<br>
Get the show on, get PAID<br>
And all that glitters is GOOOOLLLD<br>
...shooting stars break the MOOOOLD<br>
And all [''mumbling''] is gooooold<br>
Only shootin' stars break the MOOOOOOOLLLLDDD!!!!!<br>
[''music ends and all that's left is the unholy sound of Chris fapping'']
 
{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[April 2018 Paid Video Requests#Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!|Message to Dio Brando, Plus I Need a New Phone!]]|nextlink=[[I’m Sorry for Ruining so many Fandoms]]}}
 
==See also==
* [[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
* [[Chris humps his PS3]]
* [[Sam and Ellen]]
 
==References==
<references/>
 
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2018]]

Revision as of 00:42, 9 March 2019

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