Difference between revisions of "BILLY MAYS"

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{{quote|[[Metal Gear Solid|NO VICTORY, NO DEFEAT. THE SURVIVOR WILL CARRY ON THE FIGHT. IT IS OUR DESTINY.]]|BILLY MAYS's final statement to the CWCki}}
<div style="font-size: 16em; color: black;">'''''NIGGER'''''</div>


[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|thumb|Now cracks a noble heart / goodnight sweet prince / and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg|thumb|Chris desecrated the memory of BILLY MAYS by portraying him with Sonichu on his shirt.]]
[[Image:Billy mays hand.png|thumb|HOLY SHIT HOW MANY FINGERS DOES HE HAVE]]
'''WILLIAM DARRELL "BILLY" MAYS''' (20 July [[Pre-1980#1950s|1958]] – 28 [[June 2009]]) was a [[TV]] advertising man turned [[Internet]] [[troll]], and a true [[Miscreants|patriot]]. Provided both epic [[lulz]] and wisdom in [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#Sonichu]] and on [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] during his noble lifetime. He was famous for his signature ALL CAPS style, and preached daily the Gospel of [[Wikipedia:OxiClean|OxiClean]] and the Big City Slider Station. On [[March 2009|3 March 2009]], Chris, under duress by [[BlueSpike]], declared BILLY the third Mayor of [[CWCville]]; however, his reign was tragically cut short.


In real life he was arch-enemies with Chef Tony <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-YXgFv2IN4]</ref>, Barry Scott<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVHUAco_k-g ]</ref>, and Vince Shlomi<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA]</ref>.


==Mayoralty==
His first order of business was "ADULT PARTYING", and promised that everyone will go home [[Episode 18|smokey]]. He stated that "THE ROADS WILL POUR CHEAP [[Reeb|BEER]] AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES", noting that the poor citizens of [[CWCville]] deserve a week of "DRUNKEN STUPOR". During his short reign as mayor, BILLY MAYS instituted several groundbreaking reforms and was loved by all, with a record-breaking 99% approval rating.{{cite}} Sadly, CWCville's era of prosperity was quick to end after only a few months.


==Murder==
On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS was found dead in his mansion in [[Wikipedia:Tampa, Florida|Tampa, Florida]], where he resided after suffering several assassination attempts by various hitmen, allegedly under the employ of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. The true cause of his death is unknown, but his death was suspiciously close to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde Cash's]] apparent death on 22 [[May 2009]]. His family has asked for privacy.


In [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris claims he didn't kill BILLY, but rather that BILLY was a victim of a fatal heart attack. However, a skilled killer would make it ''look'' like it was a "heart attack". As paradoxical as it may seem that Chris succeeds at killing the beloved [[True and Honest]] Mayor of [[CWCville]] BILLY MAYS despite [[fail]]ing at everything else, it is reasonable to expect that one would have a [[Wikipedia:Heart attack|heart attack]] if he were woken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night by a fat [[autistic]] manchild who reeks of [[dirty, crapped briefs|feces]], screaming "I AM THE TRUE AND HONEST MAYOR OF CWCVILLE!" while completely nude.


In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], BILLY MAYS [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_92 fails to free Ivy] when she is strangled by elevator wires. The slickness of the walls keeps him from climbing up them to save her. However, the walls of text and general bad writing led to some confusion and the belief that he also died in the comic.


In Chris's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Character_Bios Biography Page] on the [[CWCipedia]], he lists BILLY MAYS as a "[[Chris and English|non-cannon]]" character, despite his appearance in central episodes of Chris's comics.


==Post death==
[[Image:BILLYMAYSPEAKS.jpg|thumb|left|BILLY's message from beyond]]


In his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video, Chris laments the death of his "bodyguard" BILLY MAYS, and announces the near-completion of the [[Twin Falling Towers|BILLY MAYS Tower]]. That a skyscraper could have been constructed so quickly after BILLY MAYS's death is suspicious, and many CWCville residents believe Chris arranged the building of the Tower as a way to launder [[money]] stolen from his parents' credit cards, and that the naming of the Tower is nothing more than a publicity stunt to leech off of BILLY MAYS's [[Chris_and_Ego|popularity]].


==See also==


*[[Chris-chan_Discusses...#Chris-chan_Discusses..._Billy_Mays|Chris-chan Discusses... Billy Mays]] - Chris discusses his involvement with BILLY's death with Guru Larry.


==Sauces==
<references/>


{{People}}


{{CWCipedia|chris=billy_mays}}
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{{DEFAULTSORT:MAYS, BILLY}}
 
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Revision as of 01:24, 28 September 2011

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Retrieved from "http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=BILLY_MAYS&oldid=148562"