Difference between revisions of "Rocky Shoemaker"

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[[Image:shoemaker.jpg|thumb|200px|Rocky Shoemaker.]]
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[[Rocky Shoemaker]] ('''Rochelle Shoemaker''') is a pastoral counselor (actual title - "Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries") at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], who advised [[Chris]] on several matters, going as far back as the [[Miyamoto Saga]].
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==Biography==
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[[Image:ivyjesus.jpg|thumb|left|''[[Ivy]] vs. The Methodist Church''. Coming to a theater near you]]
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Rocky used to work in the [http://www.cof-umc.org/index.html Community of Faith United Methodist Church], where she garnered high praise and [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 comparisons with Rocky Balboa]. In the year of Our Lord 2009, brought about the end of the [[Ivy]] Era, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy.
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This wasn't the first time she wanted to call the cops, either - [[Julie]] and [[PandaHalo]] have both incurred her wrath in the past.
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The last straw came in the form of [[Joshua Martinez]], aka [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a PSP. After that, Shoemaker made [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barb]] contact the cops who tried to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing.
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In a recent [[IRC (23 July 2009)|IRC Chat]] Chris, under the belief the the trolls did not know who he was, suggested that the trolls force him to [[Chris and sex|rape]] Rocky.
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==The ultimate white knight?==
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Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being.  Judging by her approval of the [[Love Quest]] and the [[Fuck Quest]], it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for [[china]].
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Despite saving him from the wiles of [[Joshua Martinez]] and [[Clyde Cash]], it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his bigotry, self-centeredness, total disregard for others, gluttony, and rage.
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Chris insists that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist, and seems to accept uncritically whatever she says.
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==Contact info==
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''PRO TIP:'' If you try to contact Rocky, she probably won't listen to you as she gets all sorts of shit from trolls, but if you insist:
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Rochelle Shoemaker <br>
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315 Ivy Vista Dr. <br>
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Charlottesville, VA 22903<br>
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(434) 244-2898
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Email: revrocky48@gmail.com
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==See also==
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*[[Chris and religion]]
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*[[Chris and sex]]
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[[Category:People]]
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Revision as of 14:29, 29 October 2009

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