User:Smokedaddy

Video Games and Chris, but not like you think

This is not about Chris' games, but rather my own. This may mark me as some kind of drooling game nerd, but I gladly accept the risk 'cause odds are that some of you weirdboats play these games online too and you will praise my name for the joy I brought to your bleak lives. That's the plan, anyway.

If you don't play any of Valve's recent shooters, don't waste time reading this crap. The items below have been run in Team Fortress 2 and Left 4 Dead 2. They'll probably work in some of the half-life-s starting with HL2, but no guarantees.

Game nerdiness commences:

In most Valve multiplayer shooters, a player can leave a "spray," sort of an online graffiti that may or may not animate. It can be one of their stock ones, or something you upload, such as these that I will now cast like pearls before you. Namely, the Chris-Chan collection.

Valve's internal texture format is not decodable by any Web plug-in I know of so I don't have thumbnails. Thumbnails would look wretched anyway, the biggest thing you can have pixel-wise is 256x256, and beyond that it all has to fit into 120k. The Chris-Chan set are all animated and to get more than three frames I had to back it off to 128x128. Framerate is not controllable, it's whatever the Source engine wants to show you so they all animate slowly.

But - heh - some of them look pretty sweet in-game. If anyone really, really wants I'll drag my ass, moaning and swearing, to the computer and make thumbnails in some displayable format, I suppose, but fer cryinoutloud just d/l the thing if you want to see what they look like. Thumbnails would be guaranteed to be be bigger and take longer to download than the real thing, guaranteed.

The set includes:

JUUULAY

Chris rubbing his manboobs

Flying Elephants

Chris pretending his is simultaneously Chris and Clyde Cash, punching himself in the face

IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING! Chris jumping up and down in TRUE and HONEST rage.

And sometime between noon today and New Year's 2099, I'll add one of Chris pleasing the ladies by rolling his tongue. It's almost finished, I just need to crop it to fit.

The download is a .zip of several .vtf files, not a format I can upload here. Hence: [1] << LINKY LINKY (not including tongue-rolling PUSSAY EATIN' animation, see: stress, crash into slumber.)

Unzip ye .vtfs someplace suitable, such as [yer drive letter here]:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\left 4 dead 2\left4dead2\materials\vgui\logos then from inside l4d2, go to options / multiplayers / sprays / import spray and use your imagination. TF2 is just like that only different, use your imagination.

In lieu of thumbnails, here's a screenshot of Flying Elephants sprayed on the side of a building in TF2. In real life (or real virtual life or whatever the fuck it is) it's a dangerously festive 8- or 9-frame (I think) animation of him spinning around nude. The other players will be deeply disturbed at the sight, and mutter darkly about you after you deploy it. Their dreams will be unquiet, and they can't quite remember why. Horrible, horrible.

Spring JUUULAY on some unsuspecting n00bz and watch the fun for a bit before you put them out of their misery. Good for plenty laffs.

They should work in several Source-engined Valve games, but like I said they only games I've tried them in are Left 4 Dead 2 and Team Fortress 2 (Which are what you're playing anyway, nerdbug. Admit it.) Source images available on request so you can save 'em out yourself if these don't work in your game.

You're Welcome.