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Welcome to the CWCki! The encyclopedia about Christian Weston Chandler . WHERE NO SHIT IS TOO MINOR! We currently have 2,622 articles...and counting! *Any names, or persons, discussed in this wiki, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.*

Da Update For a list of updates from this month, see April 2019. For all current updates about Chris, visit the Kiwi Farms. 24 April 2019: Chris wishes a happy birthday to MintendoMerd and MKRNightVee on Twitter. 23 April 2019: Chris begs on the Internet for the first time in over 100 days, wanting gas money for his car. 20 April 2019: Google approves Chris’s listing of his house as the Sonichu Headquarters. 15 April 2019: Chris is spotted at Target: later, he tweets that a Pokemon caused the Notre Dame fire. 12 April 2019: The Captcha service for the CWCki returns! Da update is also back.

Quote of the Now “ Mmmmm... I'm not acknowledging you right now. ” Chris in his most recent sighting.

Begging Counter Do not donate to or buy anything from Chris: he lies about needing money and habitually neglects his customers and supporters (and worse). It has been… 216 days since Chris last begged for money. Record Streak: 1,055 days 280 days since Chris last uploaded pages to meet his (formerly) paid obligations to the Sonichu comic. Record Streak: 1,700 days 5,360 days since Chris last applied for a job. Record Streak: 5,360 days An Etsy customer gambled that Chris would deliver and lost, still bitter over it three years later. Article of the Now The Father Call is a phone call that occurred on 4 November 2009. In this call, Solid Chris spends 2 hours on the phone with Matthew Devoria (born 1957), the father of his would-be sweetheart Kacey, and a retired U.S. Marine who served in the Gulf War. Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the dad of his sweetheart by boasting of his now-legendary honesty, before flimsily attempting to defend himself from an angry father. Their conversation is illuminating. What follows is probably the bluntest personal assessment Chris has ever received to date: Matt berates Chris for his laziness, egotism, lack of empathy, inability to grow up, unhealthy lifestyle, obesity, treatment of Kacey and general failure at life. To this day, Chris has never taken any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart; throughout the call he retorts by saying that he leads a hard life, which includes such laborious tasks as doing menial chores, mowing the lawn and cleaning the house. He also claims to be strong and that he exercises regularly, as well as eating healthy by going to McDonald's only once per week and shoving vegetables down his throat. (More...)

Did You Know ... that even now, Chris does not think he is fat? ... that Sarah Jackson, Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by Optimus Prime? ... that Chris loves to give dating advice to high schoolers in spite of never having been on a real date as a teenager or an adult? ... that Chris repeatedly dreamt his sweetheart amid a watery maze? ... and that Chris expects his fans to know what happens in his dreams? ... that Chris recorded himself screaming at a toilet? ... that Chris has a fourth love doll, Yumi? ... that Chris claims to weigh 216 pounds? ... that Sega knows about Chris's attempts to change Sonic's arms back? ... that Chris rates jail a 2/5? This Day in Christory Today in Christory, in 2004, Chris attended Anime Mid-Atlantic and met voice actress Monica Rial. (more...)

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