Jackie E-mails 29

These e-mails between Chris and Jackie are dated 16 June to 4 July 2011. Most of them deal with their failed effort to get together for the Fourth of July. Jackie challenges Chris to meet her in Washington, D.C., but he is unable to scrape together the money or escape Barb's incarceration. Meanwhile he continues to buy video games. Jackie is devastated, and suggests Chris make a video of himself and his blow-up doll cavorting around Charlottesville to make up for it.

June 16, 2011 6:59pm Hey Chris! So here's the deal for 4th of July: Me and some of my girlfriends are all going to be meeting in Washington, D.C. We'll be staying the whole weekend in a hotel there, touring around the capitol's landmarks, and then seeing the huge parade they do on the 4th. You can come meet us for that!! I wanted to let you know right away as soon as I found out because it's still about three weeks away, so that should give you plenty of time to make sure you can go. Keep the weekend free!! Jackie

June 17, 2011 12:28pm Wow. D.C. That is a stretch for me, but I think after discussion of details between us, it may be doable for me to make the trip. Firstly, I'll need more details, like which hotel y'all be staying in; if I may bunk with y'all, and I really would appreciate one day of in-person face time in C-Ville, maybe one day next week or weekend. I want to feel comfirmed of me having a place to stay at on the weekend, which was an issue recectly a few months ago with MagFest. I'd really like to feel I can go without my mom and dad going crazy. I'll tell you more in another e-mail later today; I have a father-son outting in a few minutes. TTYL. <3<3<3 Christian.

June 17, 2011 8:06pm First, let me point out that during this time, you have gone back to Lars. So, this was about last November (or was it October). I had pre-registered myself for MagFest a month beforehand. Dana gave me an extra incentive for going, her female cousin was visiting; some hey-hey fun was a possibility. But, I was unable to afford a hotel or motel room, even with the M.F. discount. I was pretty much going for broke there. I inform my mom and dad of the trip to MagFest only, and I told them I'd be either sleeping in the lobby or in my car. I felt totally at unease to tell them of the "bonus round" (to put it in a p.c. phrase). My mother insisted I Not go, because of the crime risk and chilly temperatures. And to nail a deep nail into the coffin, she threatened that if I went, I would not be allowed entry back into the house; Lock Change included. Come push to shove; I stay home that weekend; $40 down the drain, and a missed opportunity. I needed to be sure I had a Point A to return to, and that there was actually a solid Point B for me to arrive at. Factor in what happened years ago in my road trip to Ohio on how Both my parents reacted; putting a police bounty on my head among all of the emotinal trauma-dramas. I did not feel at ease to put them and myself through that again. So, that is Why I need all of the details here; If I make this trip on the whim, I risk not having my Home to return to, and I need confirmation on the Solid destination(s). And I Can Not afford at all costs to put my mom and dad at their ages through soo much stress and trauma... it could spell DEATH for one or Both of them. And I would be homeless, out on the streets, within a few months. This Cinderella situation saddens me greatly. Do you understand what I am telling you here? As much as I need you in my life, in person, I can not be so reckless. [:_( *sigh* I await the details in your reply. Please schedule the face time between us next week or weekend. TTYL. Stay Safe with Care, <3<3<3<3 Christian.

June 20, 2011 10:12am Hey Chris! Sorry I haven't written lately, just busy all weekend. Just wanted to let you know that I got your story and I understand, I'll let you know all the details as soon as they're set in stone. Jackie

June 20, 2011 1:54pm Thank you. :)

June 21, 2011 3:38pm I was thinking a bit further in our face-time meet. At a previous time, I would have suggested "at the Starbucks kiosk in Fashion Square" for the location, but I have been to TGIFridays and Applebees (next to Toys R Us) here. So, when you think of the day and time in the very near future here, we can meet up at one of the choice restaurant/bars as well. :) I still await the July 4th details, and I am looking forward to meeting you this week or weekend. <3<3<3 XOXOXOXOXO Stay Safe, Christian.

June 27, 2011 12:13am I haven't heard from you in about a week. I really wanted the face time last week. Now there's about a week 'til July 4th. In this case, absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder; I'm feeling neglected. What have you been so preoccupied with that's keeping you from even checking in? I made the effort in asking you out for fireworks, and in response I have received little effort from you even after we've made an agreement/understanding between us. I feel a lack of relationship management skill from you. How can this relationship between you and me stand with such scattered communication, and lack of, present? ',:( I await your response. Christian.

June 27, 2011 10:11pm Wow, you're one to talk about relationship management skills. You've always been good at doing things for our relationship, like coming to visit me when I asked you to, or cleaning your bathroom when I asked you to, or making a comic when I asked you to, or remembering my name when I asked you to. Oh wait, you never did any of those things like I asked, and you lied to me about at the bulk of them. Seriously, what do you ever offer? When did you ever care all the times I told you about how your lies and apathy were making ME feel neglected? What has ME so preoccupied that I can't check in? Why can't YOU get off your ass and write an email? Oh, you must be too busy playing games again. Well anyway, I have the hotel information ready and for two nights it would cost $180 a piece for each person, including you. Don't worry about getting the money to me right away, just bring a check with you when we meet up. The hotel is in Arlington, the plan is to meet there Sunday afternoon, then check in and stay the night of the 3rd and the 4th, then head out Tuesday morning. By the way, one of my cousins drank herself stupid a few days ago and decided to go for a joyride in her car. She got clipped by a garbage truck and was in a coma for three days. She's woken up again - off and on - but thanks to the tubes sticking in her chest she can't really talk all that much. So yes, actually, there was something preoccupying me over the past few days. I was thinking it would be nice to see you over the 4th to take my mind off things, but you better leave that 'tude at home. I mean, it would have been nice to have you checking in with me, talking to me. But just because I was too busy to write back, you just shut down and waited for me, and then assumed the worst and attacked me like I bear all the responsibility for keeping this relationship going. Last I checked, showing effort was YOUR weak point, not mine. Well I'm sorry if I sound in a bad mood but I don't really feel like talking about that anymore. Let me know if you're onboard and then we can just forget this fight and then have a nice holiday. Jackie

June 28, 2011 8:15pm Gee, I am really sorry to hear what happened to your cousin, and I understand you not wanting to talk or think about it. I do not like to think of how sickly and whatnot my mom and dad are, yet I am constantly reminded of it, along with my rut. I pray for your cousin's full recovery. For your information, yes, I was waiting and waiting for your message the past week. If I had known of your recent trauma, I would not have reacted so coldly. But I had no idea, and I have been checking my e-mail daily the past week for one from you; not finding one made me feel crestfallen and questioning. But now I do know, so it is cool, and I apologize for the attitude in my last message. Let's talk about the date. $180 for both nights is too much for me at this time with my limited finances. But I think I have a solution, I can leave the early morning of the 4th, meet up with y'all at your hotel before leaving for the fireworks, we spend the day together and see if we end up spending the 4th night together, and I will pay my 90 for the night then. After that, we can evaluate how we feel about each other and estimate better where this relationship is going. :) But I still need the address and name of the hotel in Arlington, so I can get directions on MapQuest and better estimate my departure and arrival times, I'm thinking of getting there at 8 or 9 am. Please reply swiftly. Stay Safe, Sweetie. <3<3<3 Christian

June 28, 2011 10:07pm Hey Chris, Thanks for writing back. Hey, I appreciate you wanting to meet me halfway like that, it means a lot. But I've been talking about you a lot with my parents over the past few weeks, and they'd actually like to talk to you for a bit and get to know you before I meet up with you. Would you be available for a phone conversation with them? Like, tomorrow night? Let me know. Jackie

June 29, 2011 4:59am Okie-dokie, I will converse with your parents tonight. Let's try for about 8:00 pm; call me on my cell @ 434-760-0848, and please inform me of the number to watch for in your reply so I would be most definitely able to pick up. TTYL, Christian. <3<3<3

June 30, 2011 7:34pm I waited by the phone earlier tonight, and I didn't hear from you or your parents. And I did not find an e-mail reply either during the hour. So, what's up? Did you mean for Thursday or Friday night? In any case, I will continue to watch my e-mail and wait for your call. Please reply and Stay Safe, <3<3<3 Christian.

June 30, 2011 7:37pm Sorry Chris, had a really busy couple of days. We'll call tomorrow night. Jackie

June 30, 2011 9:51pm I was feeling worried for a while here, but with recent events, it is understandable. I will still require the hotel's address before 12:01 AM, Sunday, so I'll have the day's time to MapQuest the directions, check my budget for the trip; got to allow room for gas and food for myself, aside from the room for the night, and inform my family of the trip and details. If I do not have the hotel info, this trip will be disabled for me. PLEASE do Not go "waiting until the last minute" on me here; in this scenario, tardiness is not an option. I will expect your call tomorrow (Friday) night at 8:00 PM, give or take a few minutes. I'll just pick up and pray it's not somebody else. I should have never put myself on the internet with my work years ago. Internet Fame is a bitch; unless you have a professional manager to sort it all out for you. TTYL, and Stay Safe, <3<3<3 Christian.

July 1, 2011 10:38pm Hey Chris. Well, there was a bit of a snag. My mom is being all fussy about calling you, she says she doesn't want to do it, and my dad is kind of in agreement with her. I spent over an hour talking to them about why they wouldn't, but I couldn't get much out of either one of them. My mom basically just kept saying that she had mixed feelings about you, because you don't have a job or a place of your own and stuff like that. She kept trying to talk me into going back with Lars because of his fancy new job (he got a job as a speedboat mechanic, did I ever mention that? He sent me a postcard from Cabo San Lucas where he's living now); I kept trying to tell her to drop Lars and just call you but she kept getting more and more emotional and flabbergasted, I finally just gave up. Anyway, we are staying at the Embassy Suites in D.C. The address is 1250 22nd St NW in D.C. Oh, and please wear your finest tomgirl attire! I want to show off the new you to my girlfriends. :) :) Jackie

July 2, 2011 12:54am I can empathize with your mom's concerns with my situations; I understand. I've just confirmed the destination, and I have the directions. I had trouble with mapquest, but I lucked out on googlemaps. I'm sorting out my funds for the trip, and the possible night; I'm mostly good on that. Wow! The Embassy hotel; that sounds classy. I have to admit, though, I'm feeling nervous on the trip and the whole thing. It's normal, I think, but hopefully, I'll feel better after arriving. I really wish you and I had some face time, or that I could hear your voice in telephone conversation, earlier, but all that happened to your cousin last week; it couldn't have been helped. *sigh* I'll check in agaon later. Stay Safe, Christian.

July 2, 2011 9:11pm I've just told my mother about the trip; she "said nothing" at first, then later went on with the escort (car) falling apart possibly, telling me not to take the younger Mitsubishi either, her and being responsible for what happens to either car due to them being under their names, the heavy crime rate in DC, objecting to me making the trip alone ("Without a buddy"), making assumptions of the trip being solely for sex with a woman, and she continued to object even with "Linnea and her friends" being the people I would be with And having the hotel room to "platonically bunk with her in". :( Now I am feeling More nervous and unsure. I'm going to lay this for you as well, I currently have about $100 available to me; I had a bigger than expected bill payment to make, and I have tried to make another 100 back by selling my old DSi XL, but the Pawn Shops won't give more than 50 (not enough for me), and after putting it on craigslist with a "Limited Time Offer" ending on Sunday, I've received No calls from anyone other than Trolls, pranksters and "fans". I've also contacted some of my fellow church congregation acquaintances with little luck there either. I have been fretting, worrying and working my head and ass off to make certain I had the allowance for the hotel room option. BTW, what is with the "180 per person" thing with you and your friends, were y'all getting individual rooms each? If the night ended good with you and me, we'd be sleeping the night in the same room, I woild think I'd either pay 45 (half the room's night), or nothing due to you having already paid for your two nights stay. I have been getting less sleep lately, and my internal clock has been soo screwed up, I'm sleeping the daylight away through the afternoon and late morning hours. *sigh* *pant* *pant* *pant* *sigh* I have been working very hard to try to make this happen, I even psyched myself up with the successful sale of the handheld, which lasted only a short while, and now with my mom giving no support, I am feeling like I'm going to fail again, and I just feel Absolutely Terrible and Miserable about it. I feel I have really bitten off more than I could chew with this. I really wish you had agreed to watching the fireworks at McIntire Park, as I had originally proposed instead of going extravagantly to Washington freaking DC. Wouldn't your friends have been cool with an equally satisfying firework show and park day in somewhere closer to Staunton than DC (I don't know location relevance much or such). Please reply. I'll TTYL, and I am Really, Truely [sic], Devestantly [sic] Sorry for failing again. It's MagFest all over again, but a LOT Worse. Love, <3<3<3 Christian.

July 3, 2011 7:58pm Wow, Chris. I cannot stop crying right now. I so badly wanted to see your smile, to feel you close to me- to be able to look you in the eyes!! :'( But it's like everyone's against us being together! I feel like Juliet and you're my Romeo (except I'm not 13 nor dead- yet?). Well, I don't care Chris. Even if I cannot be holding your hands, this 4th of July I still want our first date to take place and those memories to form. Could you do this for me? Could you make our date happen, even if I'm a state away? I want you to get all dolled up on the 4th. And I want you to get one of your blow up dolls and dress it up too- but as me. Print out my picture or draw a picture of my face and put it over their's. Put me in gorgeous clothes so I look every part the proud girlfriend of the hottest Tomgirl in all of Virginia. Show me around town, take me to McDonalds or Starbucks or the movies. Let's have a ball and strut our stuff! Do my make up and pretend I can do your's! Then I want us to end our romantic evening at McIntire Park, watching the fireworks together under the stars. xoxox :D :D I want to experience this with you. Please film the entire thing. and PLEASE do not upload it to youtube!!! I want you to send it privately to me via a link from http://megaupload.com or http://mediafire.com. I don't want ANY STUPID JEALOUS troll eyes seeing our special moment. This is for you and I and no one else. And if you want to make it naughty, please show me that side of you. ;) If you want to give me kisses and cute hugs or make silly faces, share with me this! I want to see it all and pretend I'm there. Then, when you are done... I will call you after watching it. If it inspires me... if you really try your hardest... I will drive down to see you and pay for the hotel room myself. You won't have to pay a penny because I know you would have taken care of me in DC if you could have. I want to reward you because I know your heart is in the right place. And if you really, really show me how much it is... ;) I'll make sure you know mine is, too. Let's make a silver-lining to this sad, rain cloud together. Show me Chris-- show me you, me, your love and our first date. Jackie

July 3, 2011 8:35pm I Really wanted to come to you too. And I am most capable of showing you a good time locally. I do not upload any videos onto the internet, especially those that would incriminate me, and even if on the contrary, I am unable to upload any videos at all at this time. If you are serious about the relationship and making it work mutually, without the use of the internet, we can still schedule another date with just you and me in Charlottesville. I can take you to see a movie, get dinner at Applebees (maybe make it a Karaoke night on any Monday there), and we can get a room at the DoubleTree in C-Ville, or come back to my place, and see what happens there. Leisurally walks in a park, a mall (Downtown Mall or Fashion Square). I feel you with empathy in your reply; I have shown you my good efforts in planning, trying to get a blessing from my family, getting money together. There is the "monkey wrench" that can screw up the plan sometimes. "Juliet", show me for real in this climax how the feeling between you and I are mutual and true. All you have to do really is simply have our dates happen in Charlottesville; you have a place for yourself here available for you to return to too. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? Another way I can put it simply, quoting Taylor Swift, "Juliet, take me somewhere where we can be alone". Love, <3<3<3 Christian.

July 3, 2011 10:14pm Oh. Okay then. So you won't come see me. You won't make me a video. You won't ever plan or save up any cash so that you can actually afford to do fun things or come be with me. Yet you can afford to buy video game after video game after video game. The PSN tracker on the cwcki says you just got both Grand Theft Auto IV and Fallout New Vegas. Assuming $19.99 a piece, that's $40 right there. So you can afford those, but you can't save up a little cash to come see me. You haven't shown any "good efforts". Mommy said no and you wilted like a dead flower. You don't even bother trying to reason with her or put your foot down. If your car is in bad shape, why not take a greyhound bus? It's not even a 2-hour trip, that'd be dirt-cheap. But no, mommy says no, and that's all there is to it. No Chris, I am serious about the relationship. I'm not the one who has anything to prove. You're the one who's on thin ice. You need to prove this to me. Just upload the video to mediafire. It will be between you and me. You can't worry about incriminating yourself because it's just between you and me. Refusing to do this tells me you don't trust me. I'm not the one whose trust is under question. I really want this to work out. You need to do your part. You won't come to DC. And you asked me to come to Charlottesville on a whim, I can't just change my plans, they're my friend's plans too. You say why can't we come "closer" to Staunton, completely ignoring the concept that maybe Staunton isn't convenient for me or my friends right now. It's always all about what's most convenient for you and you alone. After the fourth I might come down, but you really need to prove it to me that it'll be worth my while. If you won't come to DC, you need to do the video. One or the other. This is on you. Jackie

July 4, 2011 3:10pm Firstly, I got those two pieces of software for 10 apiece; one from a Yard Sale and the other was on big sale at Best Buy. I trust you, Jacklyn; it is the security of the internet all-around And the other people who hack and abuse it I do not trust. No New Video. Plus my car Did have a problem; a battery link came loose, it needed some antifreeze and it's in the shop for another malfunction that came up. And I have heard of the recent bad weather in DC putting the firework show in question anyway. I did not mean for any immediate change of plans; I meant for the next date attempt to be on another day. Enjoy your time with your friends and stay safe. <3<3<3 Christian.

July 4, 2011 4:03pm So you just reject my ideas outright without even considering them, and you don't even bother offering anything in their place. You just say "have a good time" and that's it. You've been getting all huffy and pissed off for weeks now because I never came to meet you at your damn Starbucks across from the Wal-Mart or whatever your exact plan was, but when I ask YOU to come see ME suddenly you don't seem to care nearly as much about getting your precious face-time with me, you can't be bothered to try. Washington DC is our nation's capitol, do you have any idea how amazing the celebration and show here is going to be? Way better than Staunton. And it's less than two hours away from you. And yet you can't be bothered to try. Lars is the one who caused problems before. He's out of the picture. He's in fucking Mexico. None of your trolls would have any idea where to look for a video if you secretly sent it to me, nor would they have any reason to go looking for it because they wouldn't even know it exists. It's too late for you to come to DC now I guess, unless you left immediately. So do the video. Do the video. Do the video. If not, I guess you don't really care about having any face-time with me. Jackie

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Jackie E-mails

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