Talk:Sweetheart

List

Maybe there should be a list of former "sweethearts" on this page, in chronological order? There doesn't seem to be one on the wiki, and I think it'd be a useful thing to have for people who can't think of all the former sweethearts right off the bat (like me). --Lime (Scold? | Undo?) 07:29, 18 May 2009 (CEST)

I think at one point he said that native amricans were ok all well as whites.

given his new video i think he may just dislike blacks

Well him claiming to be Cherokee, he HAS to accept Native Americans! Also, be sure to sign your name after your posts. It's two dashes followed by four tildes (~) --Wild Sonichu 20:26, 26 May 2009 (CEST)

I hear people say that chris used to hate redheads, presumeably because of the "Irish need not apply" sign. But scottish people the ones who are usually redheads. I base this on no research whatsoever, just something some guy on the internet told me. V3N0M1300 07:00, 29 September 2009 (CEST)

Wait, Chris's Sweetheart must live within 30 miles of Ruckersville, Virginia? Wasn't "Julie" from Ohio? Hell, Panda was from Australia. - CypherFDP 14:47, 10 August 2010 (PDT)

Chris IS a Lost Cause

Under "Conclusion," the article suggests that Chris's life can change for the better, if he went through a major overhaul.

I highly doubt that, as I have been following Chris for a long time, as a regular 4chan user, ED reader, and reader of this wiki as well, I argue that it is, at this point, scientifically impossible for Chris to obtain fulfillment in life by settling down and starting a family. Psychology and sociology should rule that possibility out, if not current events anyway. In fact the idea that Chris is not a lost cause is contradictory with at least the whole wiki, not counting this page alone, which should be enough to convince anyone. I get the idea that maybe this wiki is trying to be constructive, by having some sort of positive outlook, but the grave reality of Chris's life reveals how fragile a human life can be besides the mortal factor, and as John Solomon of YWIBAYSFB said, you can't be constructive one something that has no foundation to be built upon anyway. Chris is a hopeless lost cause because of everything about him and everything that has happened to him, and will happen to him.

For starters, Chris has always been, a constant. He will grow in size and shape, but never in spirit and mind. Thus, he has stayed in the same kind of position in life and will continue to stay in the same kind of position in life. To say that he could change is like betting on the horse with the limp leg. You know that horse won't run, and won't win, so why not rule out the possibility?

Second, how? How can he recover from everything that has happened to him or redeem himself in the eyes of everyone who knows him? Who would want to hire him? Who would want to love him? No one on this entire planet, NO ONE has lived as much of an embarrassing, and unfulfilling life like Chris. You could bring up feral children, and abused victims of isolation and people who have been in comas, sure, but they have remarkable stories of courage and valor and that adds to their charisma, whereas Chris's life has been stupidly falling for traps that leave him vulnerable. Then he tries to fight back, and leaves himself even more vulnerable and pathetic, and surprisingly without compromising his wholly unsympathetic nature. If you were an employer of a company, would you let Chris Chan handle your food? Stack your boxes? Clean your quarters? Count your money? If you were a woman, would you let Chris into your life? Would you want to kiss him? Would you want to have sex with him? Would you think people would look at you the same way for settling down with such a racist, sexist, and embarrassing retard? There is not even anything to be envious about when it comes to Chris, and yes, I get that Chris is not Hitler, Hitler was indeed worse, but he was at least respectable enough to be the worldly villain and most hated person in the world during his time. Plus, he ironically had a girlfriend and a decent living despite having a scat fetish. If you people were going the choice, you would choose to be Hitler over Chris, and I would not blame you, as horrible and depressing a thought like that can be.

I remember an excellent choose your own adventure fanfic story featuring Chris Chan. I found it smart because of this line, which sums up everything permanently wrong and unsolvable with Chris Chan. I will post this snippet of it, which happens when you choose to go into the ladies's bathroom at a Gay Bar:

http://web.archive.org/web/20110416213709/http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/pg161.htm

"The massive amount of serotonin flooding your brain triggers a startling epiphany: although your autism can explain some of your behavior, in no way does it excuse it. In your entire lifetime of apathy, shame and defeat you have been the one constant. You have done a better job of keeping yourself a virgin than anyone else ever could. Even if you somehow managed to sleep with a woman, nothing would change, you would still be a boy trapped in an obese man's body. Your frail, flabby body is the a constant reminder of your sluggish, tired inability to do much of anything other than numb yourself with food and video games and obsess about children's cartoons. While others have worked and struggled to live with or even overcome their individual limitations, you have made no such effort, and have not even sought help from others in any meaningful way, waiting for the world to come to you. You have accomplished nothing. Nothing at all. Your only goals and ambitions are just self-serving attempts to avoid responsibility. Nobody will pay you any money for Sonichu. Sonichu was a lazy fan character that somehow consumed your life because of your own egotism and stupidity. You've been wasting your entire life thinking otherwise. As others have lived and grown, you have sat in a perpetual childhood waiting for someone to reward you handsomely for an idea no one could possibly want. You're not going to find a girl who will cater to your every whim. No woman could want that in a relationship. Even if you could find a woman who could be guilted into going through incredible lengths to support you while you remain a hollow, uncaring inhuman incapable of functioning in a relationship, such an act would be profoundly cruel and evil. But on a very base level, this is what you want. You want a new mom you can fuck. For you, people are things, tools you can use towards your own selfish ends. Every person you've interacted with for years has been a troll. Every. Single. Person. Although it sounds paranoid, there's a good chance that the entire world is actively against you (or would be if you were worthy of most people's notice), and you richly deserve it. You've ignored or belittled anyone who actually attempted to help you. God and Jesus either don't exist or are the most spiteful trolls of all. Or, you are the most spiteful troll of all, you are your own worst enemy, and you have imprisoned yourself in a cavernous tomb of failure. And even if you decided to change today, even if you had the slightest clue about where to start or what to do, your reputation would precede you and follow you to your lonely, lonely grave. And this is your fault, as you freely volunteer damning information about yourself and make numbingly stupid life choices. And as you age, it will get worse and you will have fewer options. Let's face it, you are a deeply flawed individual. "

"> Say, "Oh well," and change absolutely nothing about yourself

You shrug your shoulders. On the other hand, you do contribute a lot to society. You won that Sonic the Hedgehog contest. You got good grades. You invest a lot of money video games. Video game guys need money, right? You're creating jobs and helping the economy, which is a good thing to do after da Arabs ruined the economy by raising the gas prices, which they did because they worship the devil.

The next day, you buy some more video games and downloadable content for the video games off The Playstation Network. You feel all better, now."

You literally pat yourself on the back."

These two snippets from the fanfic perfectly describes Chris life, to this day even. Chris will never have a girlfriend or be able to live on his own. His only hope for now is are savings he has and the donations that fools throw at him. The best he can do, is numb himself with videogames and booze, and dream. And when that runs out, he will be out on the streets. His hope then, would be being put into a state asylum for nutcases, or suicide to protect himself from being raped and brutally murdered by the elements. It makes me cry, and I don't even like saying this, but if I were Chris, and I was on my last legs, the honest best thing for me, would be to commit suicide out of shame for past deeds, fear for future pain and misery, sadness from the dreams now lost forever, anger at oneself for letting oneself go, utter despair for all ideals that could be lived up to, and complete resentment out of one's own existence, accepting that if there was a God, that I was just a mistake.

TL;DR Chris can never recover, and can not redeem himself. David Wong of Cracked's 10 minute suicide guide should see this article. He would gain some perspective and change his mind about some things.

Template:Sweethearts needs to be put in chronological order

--Sonijew is back 04:52, 14 September 2010 (PDT)