Difference between revisions of "Da Update (CWC-ism)"

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#redirect [[CWC-isms#D]]
 
Dialogue used by Christian, in an exceedingly awkward attempt to sound laid-back and casual, in the pages of [[Sonichu 7]].  As Chris's [[trolls|fans]] have searched the internet for the latest news from our hero, "da update" has become shorthand for "the latest failure Chris has committed."
 
==Hey Guys! What's da update?==
 
 
{{Ongoing}}
==19 March 2009==
The Pickle Man tricks Chris and steals his date.
 
==18 March 2009==
New video.
 
===16 March===
Christian posts two new videos, apologizing [[Apology to Emily|to Emily]] and the people at [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the Game Place]].
 
===13 March 2009===
Chris [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|calls out for Miss Emily and Stephanie]], presumably two hopeful new [[sweethearts]] which may cause Chris to bring his [[love quest]] back on the Internet.
 
Some argue that it's a [[User:LadyCameron|trap]] designed to get those two trolls v& by Chris's parents.
 
===10 March 2009===
 
Chris uploads a [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|new video]] in which he reads passages from Leviticus that support his case against homos.  He also announces that he has ceased using the internet to further his Love Quest and will instead be courting women in real life using knowledge gained from John Tesh and a book written by a nine-year-old boy.  He then questions the nine-year-old's assertion that men have to do all the work in approaching girls--effectively proving that Chris has less game than a third grader. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFJjZPiRhro]
 
===04 March 2009===
 
Christian uploads two new videos giving his side of the story in the audio released on March 3.  He announces that he isn't planning to wear his medallion anymore (because he destroyed it and stuck the pieces in his ass) and that he is still the rightful mayor of [[CWCville]] despite verbally ceding power to [[Billy Mays]].  He also claims that [[BlueSpike]] is responsible for sonichuandrosechu.com going down and implores his fans to help him get the site back. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLkAY8xK94Y] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieZp9_Yyk7s]  Apparently still not realising YouTube is forever, within 24 hours Chris deleted the video where he explained how [[BlueSpike]] made him shove the medallion up his arse.
 
===03 March 2009===
 
[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]'s Chris-Chan page presents an alleged newspaper article claiming that Christian has committed suicide, leading to rampant speculation about Chris's fate.  Total morons are invited to employ the basic deductive reasoning skills that Chris [[fail]]ed to use when determining whether [[Ryan Cash]], [[Sarah Jackson]], and [[PandaHalo]] actually died.
 
Meanwhile, audio has surfaced in which Christian endures humiliations from [[Max]] to protect his PlayStation Network account and to gain an opportunity to visit [[Julie]], only to learn that Julie and Max are both imaginary characters concocted by trolls.
 
===01 March 2009===
[[Image:Postcard from Ebaums.jpg|thumb|right|200px|"Just gonna look away, meow...don't get involved...]]
It is rumored that Chris' parents have confiscated his [[webcam]]/[[PSEye]] and microphone after an anonymous troll sent [[Bob Chandler|his father]] several postcards in an envelope that contained screencaps of [http://s733.photobucket.com/albums/ww332/DannyMothman/ Chris' CWC-ikigate sex tape].
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----
 
===26 February 2009===
 
Chris travels to Cleveland, Ohio to visit his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart Julie.
 
===24 February, 2009===
Chris' 27th birthday.  [[Aunt Corina]] buried.
 
===23 February 2009===
Chris uploads a video tribute to [[Julie]], wherein he compares their newfound love with <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>.  In a shocking admission, Chris says he doesn't know very much about Shakespeare. 
 
Additionally, Chris appears to have completely convinced himself that [[Panda Halo]] died in the Australia bushfires earlier in the month.  [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_HkfRe6-qY]
 
===20 February 2009===
 
Video footage of Christian porking a [[sex doll]] and calling it [[Julie]] is released on the internet. [http://megaupload.com/?d=18NA6ERG]
 
===18 February 2009===
 
Chris makes two new videos,  One a shoutout to Sarah May apologising for what he said in a conversation with her and pleading her not to commit suicide [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgwgHSjWcfY] and a second retracting his comments of his hatred towards homosexuals [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMzGgE36ufk].
 
===16 February 2009===
 
Christian posts the first three pages of Episode 19 from [[Sonichu 9]].  That's right, he started work on this issue on December 1, and ten weeks later all he has to show for it is the cover and three pages.  Three ''uncolored'' pages. [http://www.sonichuandrosechu.com/SchuComic10P1.htm]
 
===12 February 2009===
 
Christian opens an all-new adults-only section of his website, [http://www.sonichuandrosechu.com/sonichuandrosechuluvshack/index.html Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack].  The site effectively serves as a repository for the various [[Rule 34]] drawings Chris had previously put into [[Sonichu 8]] and on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page.
 
===10 February 2009===
 
*Chris cleans up his room to honor a promise he made to [[Clyde Cash]].  Also, Chris finally exposes the [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] impostors as frauds.  In reaction to his discovery, the rest of the world population was reported as saying "Well, <i>duh</i>." [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-ruzvV9XWc] 
 
===08 February 2009===
 
* Christian announces the new new new location of his Sonichu website, [http://www.sonichuandrosechu.com].  He also refers to the recent wildfires in Victoria, Australia, and worries that [[PandaHalo]] may be have been killed in the blaze (even though she lives over 1,000 kilmoeters away in South Australia) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEYKSNZ7CWw]
 
===06 February 2009===
 
* In a stunning correction of the previous video, Chris reveals that he was coerced by [[Clyde Cash]] into saying he was gay.  Clyde had threatened to kill Chris's [[gal-pal]] unless he "came out of the closet" and destroyed his [[vibrator]].  Ironically, this video caused many to learn for the first time that Chris owned a vibrator in the first place, cementing public opinion that Chris is ridiculously gay.  [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOtfccOBqA0]
 
===05 February 2009===
 
* Christian reveals that he's gay [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skl9VKgQCqQ]
 
<br><br>
{{Timeline}}
 
[[Category: CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Chronology]]

Latest revision as of 01:16, 23 November 2017

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