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==FAQ==
==FAQ==


Q: How do you know what's going on in the comic?   
'''Q:''' How do you know what's going on in the comic?   


[[Image:Chris-Sonichu.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical scene from <i>Sonichu</i>]]
[[Image:Chris-Sonichu.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical scene from <i>Sonichu</i>]]
A: I only applied for the narrator gig because the old narrator (a man among men) was so damn good at it, and I couldn't bear the thought of the Audiobooks coming to an end.  So basically, I wanted to make sure the new Audiobooks were done the way he would do them.  That means describing <i>everything</i> that goes on, no matter how stupid and nonsensical it may seem.  The genius of the old narrator was that he played it totally straight, reading Chris's horrible dialogue word-for-mispelled-word, and acting like it's perfectly reasonable for an ancient Cherokee to have blue eyes and wear Romanesque garb.   
'''A:''' I only applied for the narrator gig because the old narrator (a man among men) was so damn good at it, and I couldn't bear the thought of the Audiobooks coming to an end.  So basically, I wanted to make sure the new Audiobooks were done the way he would do them.  That means describing <i>everything</i> that goes on, no matter how stupid and nonsensical it may seem.  The genius of the old narrator was that he played it totally straight, reading Chris's horrible dialogue word-for-misspelled-word, and acting like it's perfectly reasonable for an ancient Cherokee to have blue eyes and wear Romanesque garb.   


With that in mind, the only challenge is figuring out what the hell is going on.  It'd be kind of funny to break character and go "You know what, I have no idea what's happening here."  But that'd get old very quickly.  So if I'm really stumped, I just guess, confident that no one else can decipher the artwork either.  The part in [[Sonichu 3]] where Bubbles saves her mother with an Ice Beam, I'm only assuming whatever I said in the Audiobook version.  We only know the Swampert was in danger, and Bubbles used an Ice Beam or Freeza Ray or some shit to save her.  Whatever the truth is, it's probably just as convoluted, and I'd deliver it the same way, so the joke still works, in that whatever's supposed to be going on, Chris obviously didn't draw it very well.   
With that in mind, the only challenge is figuring out what the hell is going on.  It'd be kind of funny to break character and go "You know what, I have no idea what's happening here."  But that'd get old very quickly.  So if I'm really stumped, I just guess, confident that no one else can decipher the artwork either.  The part in [[Sonichu 3]] where Bubbles saves her mother with an Ice Beam, I'm only assuming whatever I said in the Audiobook version.  We only know the Swampert was in danger, and Bubbles used an Ice Beam or Freeze Ray or some shit to save her.  The only one who can really dispute my script is Chris himself, and as the Videobooks demonstrated, even he barely knows what's going on.   


Usually, I can make an educated guess.  As bad as Chris's artwork is, he makes a token effort to include whatever's supposed to be there to communicate the action.  If Sonichu punches Mary Lee Walsh in the ass, he'll draw Sonichu's arm and some purple thing that's supposed to be Mary's dress, and maybe the caption "*ASSRAMMER ATTACK*", and I've learned to pick up on those visual cues.  I'm guessing the old narrator used the same trick, because I don't see how else you could do it.  If it's vague enough, I just go for whatever's funnier, like assuming that when a bad guy gets shocked it kills him.
Usually, I can make an educated guess.  As bad as Chris's artwork is, he makes a token effort to include whatever's supposed to be there to communicate the action.  If Sonichu punches Mary Lee Walsh in the ass, he'll draw Sonichu's arm and some purple thing that's supposed to be Mary's dress, and maybe the caption "*ASSRAMMER ATTACK*", and I've learned to pick up on those visual cues.  I'm guessing the old narrator used the same trick, because I don't see how else you could do it.  If it's vague enough, I just go for whatever's funnier, like assuming that when a bad guy gets shocked it kills him.


The one time I was totally stumped was doing those "Classic Strips" from #1.  The one with Chris and Sonichu saving Chris's mom made absolutely no sense at all, because Chris didn't actually draw what was going on.  And that's why I just went balls out, saying all this crap about vibrational phasing and quantum singularities, and other technobabble.
At one point I actually e-mailed Chris for clarification.  This was for Sonichu's homophobic rant in [[Sonichu 9]], where he hits the wall of his garage and causes a shelf to fall.  At the time, everyone was confused about what was on the shelf.  I had a pretty good guess, but I decided to check with the man himself.  Chris confirmed that it was just a couple of potted plants and a bottle of detergent, but around that time he was getting pretty bitchy towards the Audiobooks, so I went with my original decision to call it a bottle of anal lubricant.  


Really, that's how Chris writes the comic anyway, as whenever he needs to make a point or explain something, he just has himself or Magi-Chan give a long, pointless speech.  He's like a little kid trying to imitate a TV show.
Later on in the same story, Chris posted that battle between Bionic and Naitsirhc, where Bionic does something with a wrench (?) and Naitsirhc shits himself.  I e-mailed Chris again to find out what the hell Bionic was doing, and also to find out how Naitsirhc could project a stream of shit through his pants.  This was the day I found out Chris had blocked me on his e-mail.   


tl; dr: I just make it up.   
Other than that, I just make it up when I'm really confused.  Usually, though, there's enough clues to come up with something.
 
'''tl; dr:''' I just make it up.   




==To Do==
==To Do==
*Add the final round of screencaps to [[Excel Saga]] article. 
===Lrnin 2 Template PHASE II===
*Complete the [[List of Sonichu characters]] article so that every character has a description and link to main article (where appropriate). 
Now that I've got the bulk of the templates in [[:Category:Templates]] sorted into subcategories, I can start organizing priorities a little better.
*Flesh out [[Pokemon]] article.  Include the following sections:
:*Pokemon appearing or mentioned in <i>Sonichu</i>
:*Pokemon elements Chris has ripped off (i.e. Attacks like [[User: MachPunch|MachPunch]], Dig, Hyper Beam)
:*Other Pokemon-related [[fail]] (i.e. the Ash Ketchum costume, home-made cards, and so on)
*Expand Jerkop and Jerkhief articles to include Chris's dissertations on them from [[Sonichu 4]]. 
*Create article about Sonichu/Rosechu reproduction, based on hideous diagrams in [[Sonichu 8]].  Juxtapose Chris's detailed description of breadstick-cocks and gaping hedgehog vaginas with the general innocence and discretion of Pokemon breeding.  Get this: In the actual Pokemon cartoons and video games?  They don't really show or explain how they have sex.
*Add commentary to [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], with particular attention to Chris's passive-agressive flashback to the Casper Incident, and his thinly-veiled efforts to drive a wedge between Sarah and Wes. 
*Make moar [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]] pictures.  They're fun.
 
 
==Story Arc of <i>Sonichu</i>==
 
(Note: I'm just screwing around with this until I feel like it's ready to be made into an article.  Pay no mind.)
 
The main plotline running through Chris's Sonichu stories reflects Chris' obsession with finding a girlfriend in particular, and in creating an ideal life for himself in general.  Despite the numerous characters introduced in the series, and a handful of tangential subplots along the way, Chris insists on trying to force his story to mirror his own life, while simultaneously seeking to accomplish goals that will make his life play out the way he wants the story to end.  As Chris's ambitions [[fail|far exceed]] his abilities, this has led to a cycle in <i>Sonichu</i> where Chris builds to a romantic finale, only to end up rewriting it when his hopes are dashed in the real world. 
 
A prime example of this can be seen in <i>Sonichu</i> [[Sonichu 2|#2]], where Chris has clearly set up the story to end with Sarah dumping Wes for Chris, except this never happened in Chris's real life, so he feels obliged to undermine the plot by having Sarah dump Wes and end up with some other guy who never appeared in the story. 
 
From this, we can extrapolate other examples of this cycle.  [[Sonichu 0]], for instance, introduced [[Kel]], a Pokemon trainer who owned the Raichu that became Rosechu.  Kel is speculated to be based upon [[Kellie Andes]], and it wouldn't be difficult to imagine that Chris wrote her into the comic as Rosechu's trainer to better reflect Chris as Sonichu's trainer/father/whatever. For whatever reason, Chris gave up on whoever Kel was intended to represent, and Kel the character was removed from the story, just like Sarah Hammer. 
 
This dynamic is also projected onto the other characters.  The supposed love triangle Chris envisioned between himself, Sarah Hammer, and Wes Iseli was represented in [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], with Sonichu, Rosechu, and Black Sonichu in their respective roles.  Notice that [[Sonichu 1|Sonichu #1]] far better reflects the outcome Chris wanted to see: Black Sonichu kidnaps Rosechu, and Sonichu tries to save her (although ultimately [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] winds up doing most of the work).  Since his real life didn't work the same way, he cast himself, Sarah, and Wes as three new [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]], and used the imperfect version of his fantasy in #2.  Thus, the pattern is established of Chris striving to achieve the same success his characters have found effortlessly. 
 
In general, the story cycle Chris uses always involves three parties:
 
1) The Inept Hero.  Always male, this character is either Chris himself, or a character intended to represent Chris.  He seeks to either find true love or enjoy the female companion he already has. 
 
2) The Sweetheart.  Object of the Inept Hero's affections.  Always an idealized version of what Chris thinks women are supposed to be like.  The relationship between the Sweetheart and the Inept Hero always takes the form of a lopsided exchange.  The Sweetheart, often depicted as ridiculously overpowered and flawless, usually winds up providing the Inept Hero with companionship, protection, and in some cases, lots of sloppy, filthy sex.  In return, the Inept Hero, being a total loser, can offer little more than his undying devotion.
 
3) The Villain.  This can be pretty much anyone or anything that threatens the true love and happiness of the Hero and Sweetheart.  The villain's motives tend to be petty and irrational, in keeping with Chris's self-centered worldview.  The Inept Hero will strive to defeat the Villain, but usually winds up making a total fool of himself in the process, and true victory only comes when the Sweetheart comes to the Inept Hero's aid. 
 
Examples:


*Sonichu 0: Sonichu, literally reduced to begging for food, meets Rosechu.  She not only provides him with free room and board, but makes out with him.  Sonichu goes on to rescue her from [[Naitsirhc]], although this is a rather contrived situation, as Rosechu has the same powers as Sonichu, so in theory she would never have gotten captured in the first place.   
*<s>'''Make sure ALL templates are included somewhere in the Templates category.'''</s>  


*Sonichu Strips: In one strip, Black Sonichu stalks Sonichu and Rosechu, apparently jealous of their happiness.  Interestingly, only Rosechu has the wherewithal to notice him, and demand that he leave them alone.
*<s>'''Go over [[:Category: Icon Templates]].'''</s>


*Sonichu 1: Firmly established as lovers, Sonichu and Rosechu's idyllic romance is threatened when [[Black Sonichu]] kidnaps her.  Sonic, being the Inept Hero, quickly falls into the villains' trap, leaving the real heroism to be handled by [[Sonic]].   
*'''Determine fate of [[:Category:CWCki templates]]'''.  This appears to have been a catch-all category before we really had a lot of templates.  The items in the category don't seem to have much in common.  Should we keep the category, and add other relevant templates to it?  Or should we delete the category, and reassign its contents to the other categories?  I can't decide this unilaterally, since [[Template:Clear]] is locked, meaning I can't re-categorize it myself.   


*Sonichu 2: Chris and Sarah Hammer discover that they're the reincarnations of an ancient Cherokee king and queen, but Sarah is involved with Wes Iseli, who happens to be the descendant of the Cherokians' ancient enemies.  For no good reason, Wes ambushes Chris, and Sarah is left with no choice but to come to Chris's defense and dump Wes.
*'''Put malfunctioning templates in [[:Category:Broken Templates]]'''.  I don't want to get stuck fixing templates, especially if no one is using them.  The work I did on [[Template:Mbox]] is starting to feel like a waste, because it seems to require the creation of several other templates to function, and all it does is help us create message boxes.  Meanwhile we already have like a billion boxes on this site already, (all created without Mbox) so what's the point?  It may have some value later on, but for now it's not worth the trouble.


*Sonichu 4: The entire Sub-Episode arc was probably written with the assumption that Chris would eventually find a real girlfriend, whom he would write into the comic as a powerful ally that would help him thwart his enemies once and for all.  This makes some sense, seeing as how a woman genuinely in love with Chris would be anathema to the villains in the comic.  Obviously, real life got in the way of Chris's ideas, and so he compromised by re-purposing his ideal girlfriend character as his twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)]].  This would explain why Crystal so closely resembles a "Girlfriend" depicted on one of Chris's home-made Yugi-Oh! cards, wearing the same clothes as Chris and having a Rosechu medallion to compliment Chris's Sonichu medallion. While Crystal is not a girlfriend, she still plays out the Sweetheart role, saving Chris from all his tormentors, despite the fact that he has the same powers she does.  Chris, being inept, offers Crystal absolutely nothing in return, other than willing her into a thankless existence as Chris's bodyguard. 
*<s>'''Purge the Cwcki of [[Template:Email]], [[Template: EmailReply]], and [[Template:Quote3]].'''</s> Holding off on this one until I get a handle on which one stays and which one should go.


*Sonichu 5&6: Chris clearly intended for Megan to fill the role he had previously intended for Sarah Hammer, and the hypothetical woman he ended up replacing with Crystal.  This time, the villains are Wes-Li Sonichu, the PVCC invaders, and finally Naitsirhc, with Megan coming to Chris's aid each time. In the case of the first two, Megan actually does the bulk of the work, defeating Wes and Mary Lee Walsh with ease, where Chris had struggled just to stay in the fight.  Against Naitsirhc, Chris loses like a little bitch, and Megan shows up at the end to pick up the pieces.  Once again, however, real life twisted the plot around, and Chris had to gradually acknowledge that Megan had no interest in him romantically. 
*'''Nominate unused templates for deletion'''.  See below for the ones I'm eyeing for Grade F Destruction.


*Sonichu 6&7: Bionic, feeling neglected by his creator, craves a girlfriend of his own.  Megan "provides" her own creation [[Megagi La Skunk]] to "rescue" him from a life of solitude.   
*'''Determine if [[Template:Mbox]] is worth using.''' Wikipedia uses the Mbox template to standardize many, many message boxes used on a wide variety of pages and page types.  For some reason, it matters to them whether the box is formatted a certain way when it appears on a talk page versus an article.  Meanwhile, I can't even tell the difference.  Meanwhile, the CWCki's message boxes were apparently created from scratch, and we're not nearly as big an outfit as Wikipedia, so maybe that's the right way for us to be doing things.  Alternately, a "stripped-down" Mbox might be better.  I'm thinking something with the same parameters but fewer options and permutations.


*Sonichu 8: Sonichu and Rosechu are slandered by 4-cent_garbage.com, and Sonichu, the Inept Hero, confronts Jason Kendrick Howell to defend Rosechu's honor.  Jason beats up Sonichu like the punk he is, and for no good reason Rosechu winds up beating the shit out of Jason herself.   
*'''Harmonize the Message boxes''' That said, I can see the advantage to using a single template to harmonize the various message boxes.  [[Template: Improve]] bears absolutely no resemblance to [[Template: Apocrypha]], and neither of them looks anything like [[Template: Unfinished]].  I think that's due to an ED influence, so maybe that's what we prefer, but I think we would do well to use a standard style like the [[:Category:Userboxes]]. At some point, I'd like to go through the message boxes and make them all follow some basic rules:
::1.  Chris/Sonichu-related picture in the box. (File:Motherland calls.jpg looks great, but it should be shooped to look like Chris's mom)
::2.  Somewhat consistent size/color scheme. 
::3.  Fairly witty message.  "Please improve this article by doing (X)" is bad, "Do (X) NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!" is good.   


*Sonichu 8: Black Sonichu gets suckered into having sex with [[Silvana Rosechu]], and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] battles her to avenge her idiotic lover. Effectively, Bubbles has been placed in the position of protecting Black Sonichu from his own libido. 
:Some of the templates meet these criteria, while others only go halfway.  I love the [[Template:Deletion]] message, but why doesn't it have a picture of the moon?  It should.  In any case, [[Template:Mbox]] might be helpful with this project, if I can get it to work.


*Sonichu 7-9: Chris has spent these issues trapped in the time void, essentially enabling him to comment on his real life in the comic without actually drawing anything that happens to him.  Symbolically, his entry into the time void coincided with his "break up" with Megan, and ever since, he's been bouncing from one nonexistent girlfriend to the next.  Meanwhile, Blanca has appeared in #8, affirming that she'll wait for Chris to return, suggesting that Chris intends to have a girlfriend waiting for him when he returns from the time void, possibly providing him with some "emotional anchor" or some bullshit like that to help him find his way back to CWCville.
===Template Hit List===
These are templates I think may need to be nominated for deletion. 
*[[Template:Quote3]] It's basically Template:EmailReply and Template:Quotebox, except no one uses it.
*[[Template:Miscreants]] I'm assuming if any Miscreants actually wanted to use this template, they would have by now.   
*[[Template:Tlx]] Wikipedia explains what this template does, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what good it is.  If someone can explain it, please enlighten me.
* More to come.

Latest revision as of 18:36, 7 December 2010

“ Dethchemist77 si a pretty cool guy. eh narrates Audiobooks and doesn't afraid of anything ”
Champthom
“ THUNDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!! ”
Excerpt from substandard bootleg audiobook

Let's Go, Ghostbusters, Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go!

Doo-doo-doo-do-wee-oo-oo-doo-doo-doo!

FAQ

Q: How do you know what's going on in the comic?

Typical scene from Sonichu

A: I only applied for the narrator gig because the old narrator (a man among men) was so damn good at it, and I couldn't bear the thought of the Audiobooks coming to an end. So basically, I wanted to make sure the new Audiobooks were done the way he would do them. That means describing everything that goes on, no matter how stupid and nonsensical it may seem. The genius of the old narrator was that he played it totally straight, reading Chris's horrible dialogue word-for-misspelled-word, and acting like it's perfectly reasonable for an ancient Cherokee to have blue eyes and wear Romanesque garb.

With that in mind, the only challenge is figuring out what the hell is going on. It'd be kind of funny to break character and go "You know what, I have no idea what's happening here." But that'd get old very quickly. So if I'm really stumped, I just guess, confident that no one else can decipher the artwork either. The part in Sonichu 3 where Bubbles saves her mother with an Ice Beam, I'm only assuming whatever I said in the Audiobook version. We only know the Swampert was in danger, and Bubbles used an Ice Beam or Freeze Ray or some shit to save her. The only one who can really dispute my script is Chris himself, and as the Videobooks demonstrated, even he barely knows what's going on.

Usually, I can make an educated guess. As bad as Chris's artwork is, he makes a token effort to include whatever's supposed to be there to communicate the action. If Sonichu punches Mary Lee Walsh in the ass, he'll draw Sonichu's arm and some purple thing that's supposed to be Mary's dress, and maybe the caption "*ASSRAMMER ATTACK*", and I've learned to pick up on those visual cues. I'm guessing the old narrator used the same trick, because I don't see how else you could do it. If it's vague enough, I just go for whatever's funnier, like assuming that when a bad guy gets shocked it kills him.

At one point I actually e-mailed Chris for clarification. This was for Sonichu's homophobic rant in Sonichu 9, where he hits the wall of his garage and causes a shelf to fall. At the time, everyone was confused about what was on the shelf. I had a pretty good guess, but I decided to check with the man himself. Chris confirmed that it was just a couple of potted plants and a bottle of detergent, but around that time he was getting pretty bitchy towards the Audiobooks, so I went with my original decision to call it a bottle of anal lubricant.

Later on in the same story, Chris posted that battle between Bionic and Naitsirhc, where Bionic does something with a wrench (?) and Naitsirhc shits himself. I e-mailed Chris again to find out what the hell Bionic was doing, and also to find out how Naitsirhc could project a stream of shit through his pants. This was the day I found out Chris had blocked me on his e-mail.

Other than that, I just make it up when I'm really confused. Usually, though, there's enough clues to come up with something.

tl; dr: I just make it up.


To Do

Lrnin 2 Template PHASE II

Now that I've got the bulk of the templates in Category:Templates sorted into subcategories, I can start organizing priorities a little better.

  • Make sure ALL templates are included somewhere in the Templates category.
  • Determine fate of Category:CWCki templates. This appears to have been a catch-all category before we really had a lot of templates. The items in the category don't seem to have much in common. Should we keep the category, and add other relevant templates to it? Or should we delete the category, and reassign its contents to the other categories? I can't decide this unilaterally, since Template:Clear is locked, meaning I can't re-categorize it myself.
  • Put malfunctioning templates in Category:Broken Templates. I don't want to get stuck fixing templates, especially if no one is using them. The work I did on Template:Mbox is starting to feel like a waste, because it seems to require the creation of several other templates to function, and all it does is help us create message boxes. Meanwhile we already have like a billion boxes on this site already, (all created without Mbox) so what's the point? It may have some value later on, but for now it's not worth the trouble.
  • Nominate unused templates for deletion. See below for the ones I'm eyeing for Grade F Destruction.
  • Determine if Template:Mbox is worth using. Wikipedia uses the Mbox template to standardize many, many message boxes used on a wide variety of pages and page types. For some reason, it matters to them whether the box is formatted a certain way when it appears on a talk page versus an article. Meanwhile, I can't even tell the difference. Meanwhile, the CWCki's message boxes were apparently created from scratch, and we're not nearly as big an outfit as Wikipedia, so maybe that's the right way for us to be doing things. Alternately, a "stripped-down" Mbox might be better. I'm thinking something with the same parameters but fewer options and permutations.
  • Harmonize the Message boxes That said, I can see the advantage to using a single template to harmonize the various message boxes. Template: Improve bears absolutely no resemblance to Template: Apocrypha, and neither of them looks anything like Template: Unfinished. I think that's due to an ED influence, so maybe that's what we prefer, but I think we would do well to use a standard style like the Category:Userboxes. At some point, I'd like to go through the message boxes and make them all follow some basic rules:
1. Chris/Sonichu-related picture in the box. (File:Motherland calls.jpg looks great, but it should be shooped to look like Chris's mom)
2. Somewhat consistent size/color scheme.
3. Fairly witty message. "Please improve this article by doing (X)" is bad, "Do (X) NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!" is good.
Some of the templates meet these criteria, while others only go halfway. I love the Template:Deletion message, but why doesn't it have a picture of the moon? It should. In any case, Template:Mbox might be helpful with this project, if I can get it to work.

Template Hit List

These are templates I think may need to be nominated for deletion.

  • Template:Quote3 It's basically Template:EmailReply and Template:Quotebox, except no one uses it.
  • Template:Miscreants I'm assuming if any Miscreants actually wanted to use this template, they would have by now.
  • Template:Tlx Wikipedia explains what this template does, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what good it is. If someone can explain it, please enlighten me.
  • More to come.
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