|“||Dethchemist77 si a pretty cool guy. eh narrates Audiobooks and doesn't afraid of anything||”|
|Excerpt from substandard bootleg audiobook|
Let's Go, Ghostbusters, Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go!
Q: How do you know what's going on in the comic?
A: I only applied for the narrator gig because the old narrator (a man among men) was so damn good at it, and I couldn't bear the thought of the Audiobooks coming to an end. So basically, I wanted to make sure the new Audiobooks were done the way he would do them. That means describing everything that goes on, no matter how stupid and nonsensical it may seem. The genius of the old narrator was that he played it totally straight, reading Chris's horrible dialogue word-for-misspelled-word, and acting like it's perfectly reasonable for an ancient Cherokee to have blue eyes and wear Romanesque garb.
With that in mind, the only challenge is figuring out what the hell is going on. It'd be kind of funny to break character and go "You know what, I have no idea what's happening here." But that'd get old very quickly. So if I'm really stumped, I just guess, confident that no one else can decipher the artwork either. The part in Sonichu 3 where Bubbles saves her mother with an Ice Beam, I'm only assuming whatever I said in the Audiobook version. We only know the Swampert was in danger, and Bubbles used an Ice Beam or Freeze Ray or some shit to save her. The only one who can really dispute my script is Chris himself, and as the Videobooks demonstrated, even he barely knows what's going on.
Usually, I can make an educated guess. As bad as Chris's artwork is, he makes a token effort to include whatever's supposed to be there to communicate the action. If Sonichu punches Mary Lee Walsh in the ass, he'll draw Sonichu's arm and some purple thing that's supposed to be Mary's dress, and maybe the caption "*ASSRAMMER ATTACK*", and I've learned to pick up on those visual cues. I'm guessing the old narrator used the same trick, because I don't see how else you could do it. If it's vague enough, I just go for whatever's funnier, like assuming that when a bad guy gets shocked it kills him.
At one point I actually e-mailed Chris for clarification. This was for Sonichu's homophobic rant in Sonichu 9, where he hits the wall of his garage and causes a shelf to fall. At the time, everyone was confused about what was on the shelf. I had a pretty good guess, but I decided to check with the man himself. Chris confirmed that it was just a couple of potted plants and a bottle of detergent, but around that time he was getting pretty bitchy towards the Audiobooks, so I went with my original decision to call it a bottle of anal lubricant.
Later on in the same story, Chris posted that battle between Bionic and Naitsirhc, where Bionic does something with a wrench (?) and Naitsirhc shits himself. I e-mailed Chris again to find out what the hell Bionic was doing, and also to find out how Naitsirhc could project a stream of shit through his pants. This was the day I found out Chris had blocked me on his e-mail.
Other than that, I just make it up when I'm really confused. Usually, though, there's enough clues to come up with something.
tl; dr: I just make it up.
Lrnin 2 Template PHASE II
Now that I've got the bulk of the templates in Category:Templates sorted into subcategories, I can start organizing priorities a little better.
Make sure ALL templates are included somewhere in the Templates category. Go over Category: Icon Templates.
- Determine fate of Category:CWCki templates. This appears to have been a catch-all category before we really had a lot of templates. The items in the category don't seem to have much in common. Should we keep the category, and add other relevant templates to it? Or should we delete the category, and reassign its contents to the other categories? I can't decide this unilaterally, since Template:Clear is locked, meaning I can't re-categorize it myself.
- Put malfunctioning templates in Category:Broken Templates. I don't want to get stuck fixing templates, especially if no one is using them. The work I did on Template:Mbox is starting to feel like a waste, because it seems to require the creation of several other templates to function, and all it does is help us create message boxes. Meanwhile we already have like a billion boxes on this site already, (all created without Mbox) so what's the point? It may have some value later on, but for now it's not worth the trouble.
Purge the Cwcki of Template:Email, Template: EmailReply, and Template:Quote3.Holding off on this one until I get a handle on which one stays and which one should go.
- Nominate unused templates for deletion. See below for the ones I'm eyeing for Grade F Destruction.
- Determine if Template:Mbox is worth using. Wikipedia uses the Mbox template to standardize many, many message boxes used on a wide variety of pages and page types. For some reason, it matters to them whether the box is formatted a certain way when it appears on a talk page versus an article. Meanwhile, I can't even tell the difference. Meanwhile, the CWCki's message boxes were apparently created from scratch, and we're not nearly as big an outfit as Wikipedia, so maybe that's the right way for us to be doing things. Alternately, a "stripped-down" Mbox might be better. I'm thinking something with the same parameters but fewer options and permutations.
- Harmonize the Message boxes That said, I can see the advantage to using a single template to harmonize the various message boxes. Template: Improve bears absolutely no resemblance to Template: Apocrypha, and neither of them looks anything like Template: Unfinished. I think that's due to an ED influence, so maybe that's what we prefer, but I think we would do well to use a standard style like the Category:Userboxes. At some point, I'd like to go through the message boxes and make them all follow some basic rules:
- 1. Chris/Sonichu-related picture in the box. (File:Motherland calls.jpg looks great, but it should be shooped to look like Chris's mom)
- 2. Somewhat consistent size/color scheme.
- 3. Fairly witty message. "Please improve this article by doing (X)" is bad, "Do (X) NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!" is good.
- Some of the templates meet these criteria, while others only go halfway. I love the Template:Deletion message, but why doesn't it have a picture of the moon? It should. In any case, Template:Mbox might be helpful with this project, if I can get it to work.
Template Hit List
These are templates I think may need to be nominated for deletion.
- Template:Quote3 It's basically Template:EmailReply and Template:Quotebox, except no one uses it.
- Template:Miscreants I'm assuming if any Miscreants actually wanted to use this template, they would have by now.
- Template:Tlx Wikipedia explains what this template does, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what good it is. If someone can explain it, please enlighten me.
- More to come.