Kacey Call 1
In August 2009, Chris (Ian Brandon Anderson) called Kacey, as he attempted to pretend to be the REAL CWC to get with Kacey. Hilarity and fail ensued.
Most of the call, Chris forgets he's pretending to be Liquid yet Kacey manages to play along.
Transcript
Chris: Hello?
Kacey: Hey honey! Oh my god, it's so good to hear your voice again; it's me, Kacey! How are you?
Chris: Hey Kayce! I'm good. You sound like it's goin' good. [Kacey overlaps: Ah, I love when you call me that!]
Kacey: Yeah, I'm so happy cuz I got to talk to you! I missed you all day today. It sucks being in school. I can't believe it's finals.
Chris: Aww, yeah, I know, summer finals, right?
Kacey: I know, I don't know why I did summer session, it's just... I don't know. You know I'm really, really into intelligent guys; which is why I love you. And I've [???]. So how're things for you? [Chris overlaps: Aaahhh...]
Chris: Oh, things have been great for me, you know, I just finished the dating episode; it is fantastic.
Kacey: Oh, well that's cool, but what does that have to do with school?
Chris: ...Uh, you know, the comics, so I just... I felt like finishing it up...
Kacey: [overlapping] Oh, I get what you're saying! Oh, that is so cool!
Chris: The dating education episode. It's on the CWCipedia.
Kacey: Oh, that's awesome. I'm gonna have to check it out, because, you know, that is the force that led me to you in the first place. [Chris overlaps: Oh, yeah.] But, um, what about actual school? 'Cuz I know you had classes today too!
Chris: Ohhh, yeah... Oh, yeah, they were very tough on me, but, I felt like I take a break, finish up my comic work, and get that outta the way, y'know?
Kacey: Oh, I get what you're saying; you're gonna do everything tomorrow, well, that... that's so cool of you, I mean, at least you're being serious about it, but you're not being too serious. So, um, when are your finals? Are they next week, too?
Chris: Mmm, yeah, only got... I only got one to go, y'know? One more test to go, and then I'm done.
Kacey: Oh god, you're so lucky, cuz my finals, like, they don't even start 'til next week, so... Which one's your last one again? I can't remember, I'm [laughs] sorry.
Chris: ...I'm sorry, what was that question? I didn't quite understand it.
Kacey: Sorry. [laughs] You know I talk fast 'cuz I'm so excited to be talking to you. Um, so-
Chris: It's all right.
Kacey: [giggles] So which one's your last final? I totally forgot.
Chris: Which one's my last, uh, fina- my last final?
Kacey: Yeah, is it the same one, you know, that same class we have together?
Chris: Aaahhh... No, it's not, no, it's not that one... Uuhhh... I'm trying to think of the name. I'm trying to think of it... Um... Oh, yeah, it's the one where I'm doing, uh... It's the one where, uh... working with, uh, I think it's... I think I'm working in Photoshop, something like that, with the... ahh, so much going on in my head right now...
Kacey: Oh, oh, it's your... databasing and, uh, computer graphics class!
Chris: Yes! My computer graphics class. That's it.
Kacey: Oh, okay. God, and, I've seen some of your work since you sent it to me, and lemme just tell you, you are so frickin' amazing, like, I cannot wait to see you this weekend.
Chris: Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
Kacey: Oh my God, I've got a GPS system, you know that, sweetie!
[Chris and Kacey both stammer a bit]
Chris: [high-pitched] Oh, that's right, you told me about the GPS! I totally forgot!
Kacey: I got it for my birthday this year, remember? So, um... yeah, I've already got it plugged in, and... it's gonna be so much fun, so... do you remember our last time together, you know, our, uh, our third date? [giggles]
Chris: Ah, date number three... mmm... oh, I've been so busy with, uh, with studying for the finals. It's just that so much of the details are plaguing my mind at the moment!
Kacey: Oh, I know. But it was so magical. I have never, ever been with someone so sensual, and just so in tune to me. I can NOT wait to see you again. So maybe you can give me a sneak preview of what you're going to do the next time I see you?
Chris: I'm gonna rock your world, baby.
Kacey: [laughing] Oh, Chris, you are so hot. God, I don't know how you do it. So stop teasing me, you gotta give me more.
Chris: It- It just comes natural to me, I guess. I got a deep sensual voice, you know. I definitely got the Bing Crosby tune, baby, you know I been raised on music! My dad was a technical engineer! Got all them patents and everything!
Kacey: Oh my God, Chris! I love it when you talk like that! God, so, you know when you sang Fresh Prince today, you know I looove that. Oh my God, like you know that white boy rap? Oh my God. You were amazing, almost as amazing as last time I saw you.
Chris: Aw yeah, before that, yeah. Y'know I'm into hippin'- I'm hippin' to soo many hippin' tunes right now. But you know, I like to just... uh, sometimes I like to look back, at my favorite hits and just uh, listen to them you know? Ah, you know I definitely did like Sonic Boom and Don't Say You Love Me, too bad- ah, too bad I got beaten to the punch on those. Uh yeah...
Kacey: God, I know, I was so hoping you would do something like that. I mean, maybe you could do N'Sync next? I love Tearing Up My Heart. Could you do that one for me?
Chris: I got bears - you know what? - I got bears - I got a better song I'm planning on next one. Uh, here's a little preview. Hang on.
Kacey: Awesome. AWESOME. Thank you! [giggles]
Chris: Hang on. Hang on. Hush-hush-hush!
Kacey: Aww.
Chris: [shouts] YOU GOT THE TOUCH. YOU GOT THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, YEAH!
Kacey: Oh Chris. Your voice... well, you know what it does to me. It gets me so hot.
Chris: Ohhhh yeah.
Kacey: So tell me how much you like when I get hot.
Chris: Oohhhh, I'm lovin' it.
Kacey: What are you gonna do to me Chris? I mean, love songs are wonderful, I know you've got lots of ideas in your head.
Chris: It'll be like the first time all over again, girl. You know I enjoyed the first time.
Kacey: I know, just the way you looked at me-
Chris: [interrupting] I'd like ta, I'd like ta, I'm definitely gonna try to repeat the encore, repeat as best as I can, you know. You know, to the best of my memory, even though I been messin' up stuff for the finals and whatevurrr, so...
Kacey: So did you remember what I wanted you to do next time?
Chris: Aww... shoot.
Kacey: Chris, how could you forget!
Chris: Oh, you know... lemme take a guess, lemme take a guess! Uh, you want me to caress your breasts?
Kacey: Yeah, that's one of them, but I wanted to do something a little more adventurous! I can't believe you forgot, you seemed so excited!
Chris: [in a high-pitched whine] OH YEAH I'M SO EXCITED! I just can't hide it.
Kacey: I guess I'll forgive you this time, but I totally, absolutely wanted you to tie me up and let me be at your mercy. I mean doesn't that sound awesome?
Chris: AWW YEAH THAT DOES SOUND FUCKIN' AWESOME.
Kacey: Ok well since I told you that you have to tell me what you're gonna do to me because come on, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.
Chris: Aww, talk dirty to me! Duh-duh.
Kacey: Oh, please do.
Chris: Mmmmmmm... oh yeah.
Kacey: Do it for me, your sweet little Kacey-kase.
Chris: Oh yeah. I gonna... you just gonna love this. You uh, I'll be showin', I'll be presentin' myself to you, you'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that you know, and you just, I'll be puttin' it, between your tits while you're all TIED UUUP!
Kacey: Oh my God that sounds so good! Like, I'm like crying because it sounds so wonderful! Keep telling me more!
Chris: Yeah, I'm just going to get that girl...
Kacey: I'm actually starting to touch my tits right now, so keep telling me more. Keep telling me more.
Chris: Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!
Kacey: Oh my God, I can't wait to lick it off. I'm gonna be so, so hot. This is the Chris I know and love. Thank you!
Chris: And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!
Kacey: Oh my God, you know I love shotgunning like that. God Chris, you're even a little spicier than last time. What's gotten into you?
Chris: [sings] VANILLA HOT HOT SPICY BABY.
Kacey: So Chris... um, so what are you doing right now, y'know, are you uh, doing the same thing?
Chris: [overlapping] Oh, you know... yeah, I'm just I'm... yeah, I'm getting turned on. I'm just rubbing myself thinking about it!
Kacey: Oh my God, Chris! It's gonna be so much better when I'm really there, though. I can't wait to see you, I can't believe I'm actually going to go to your house, and be with you and it's gonna be awesome.
Chris: Oh yeah. You know it, girl. You know it so well.
Kacey: And I mean, I just can't help getting hot thinking again about all your music videos, just... oh my gosh, I remember so much better than I poss-
Chris: [interrupting to mangle REO Speedwagon while Kacey giggles] You can't fight that feeling anymore... I've forgotten what I started fighting for... it's just so much listen to the shore... and I can't fight this feeling anymore.
Kacey: Okay, well, you know I hate to spoil the mood, but I mean you're just so much better than that brown-shirted... or that shirted impostor. I mean, I love your brown shirts way more.
Chris: Mmm...
Kacey: Sorry, I'm getting so confused right now, because I'm just so hot right now. I'm so glad you-
Chris: [interrupting] Yeah, but you know I actually do have a red, white and blue-striped shirt in my closet.
Kacey: You do? Why don't you wear it then? I mean, I guess that would make you too much like the impostor.
Chris: I don't know, because you know... just been trying to separate myself from the impostor I guess, I mean red, white and blue, you know, was my original roots, I mean look at back in the early pages of my books! Red, white and blue all the way girl!
Kacey: [sighs] Well...
Chris: [plows on] I just had to separate myself from the impostor somehow. And you know how I rapped the Parappa contest? I wore an orange shirt then, girl.
Kacey: Yeah, I guess... okay, well I mean, just that impostor, I know he's really, really, really getting to you.
Chris: Oh yeah, he's been getting to me. Giving me... wracking at my NERVES! [tard rage] Just really turning me... urgh! Making me so angry!
Kacey: God I know, he pisses me off too. I can't believe he's trying to be you when you're just so much sexier, hotter... [Chris overlapping: Yeah, yeah] I mean, his voice doesn't even sound like yours!
Chris: Yeah... I mean, can you believe him? I mean he just looks so... aw shoot, what's the word I'm trying think of... oh yeah, he looks so soff-moric!
Kacey: Yeah, he does, I, I guess, I mean...
Chris: Yeah, I mean the impostor looks like he's got to be about 13 or 15, does not have the diploma or the degrees, OR the certificate I had from the waterboy on the varsity basket ball team during my freshman year!
Kacey: Right, um... what are you talking about?
Chris: Aw, I'm just on a roll here, you know. I'm just trying- I'm just trying to- I've been-
Kacey: [overlapping] I mean, 'cause-
Chris: One five minute note or you know... ah, he's telling me history or like um... I got my truths, you know. He's just bringing me all the counter-evidence and I've got to fight back with the real deal.
Kacey: Oh oh, you mean when he was trying to duel you in Spanish and he showed that fake certificate with a fake Sonichu picture. Oh oh, okay, I get it, 'cause you were confusing me for a minute there, at first I thought that you were suggesting that you were the fat impostor, and you know, I was getting worried for a minute there.
Chris: Mmm. Well, you... well, I don't know about this and that but I tell you what... you are definitely talking to the real deal, baby. You know I'm going to ROCK YOUR WORLD.
Kacey: [sighs] Yeah, you totally, totally are. I mean, like you said, next time we're going to try the strap-ons, and I can't wait for that!
Chris: Mmm. Let's do it after this, after this, after this one time, the first time this weekend, y'know... yeah, tie me down...
Kacey: [interuppting] Oh right, like start out slow like that and... oh yeah, I get it, y'know... do you dominant first, then me dominant... I gotcha! [giggles]
Chris: Oh yeah.
Kacey: I mean, I know you said you couldn't wait... but I could do it for you Chris, definitely do it for you.
Chris: Oh yeah. [voice gets high pitched] OH YEAH!
Kacey: You know baby, I might skip school tomorrow and head down tomorrow, how does that sound?
Chris: Mmm. Tomorrow... hmm.
Kacey: I mean, finals are until next week, I can skip this week if you want me to spend the whole week with you, get a little good-luck lovin', you know?
Chris: Mmm. Oh yeah, that sounds good, that sounds... yeah, that sounds very good. Mmm. So what time do you think you could be at my place?
Kacey: Well, let's see, you're only an hour and a half away, so 6 pm maybe?
Chris: Mmm. 6 pm... mmm. Yeah, that sounds do-able. 6 pm!
Kacey: [giggles] Do-able, just like me, right?
Chris: [sings] DO-ABLE BABY!
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