Red String of Fate
The Red String of Fate was a plot Chris came up with in 2004 to attract a boyfriend-free girl. He probably got it from Excel Saga or some other shitty animu series, as the red string is allegedly an important metaphor in Asian courting ritual. However, Asia is a long way from Virginia and this is perhaps why Chris's subtle expression of courtship failed to be appreciated.
According to Lucas and Mimms, Chris would attach a paper heart to a red string and throw it at women, the pull the string like he was "reeling" them in.
The small red heart had text around the outside reading "PICK ME UP AND BRING ME BACK TO MY OWNER," an ingenious strategy to reel in the wimmens.
On August 5 2004, a security-guard took Chris's red string off him. It's the last we've ever heard of the idea.
| “ | "I have a NEW idea that I am sure will REEL in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL RED STRING. August 5: I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a Red String of Fate, when from out the blue,a JERK COP shatter my Heart and ripped up the Red String!" | ” |