Crass and Champ
Crass and Champ are Ivy's pet hermit crabs, named in honor of CWC trolls CrassCrab (disgruntled former PVCC admin and general curmudgeon) and Champthom (CWCki admin).
Ivy being Chris's sweetheart du jour, he was fixated on any detail he could learn about her. Beyond even that, he seemed to be psychotically obsessed with her crabs. That Crass is male and Champ is female, but both have masculine names, never seemed to bother Chris, which is odd given his hatred of the homos. Likewise, the thought of Ivy having crabs never seemed to bother Chris in the slightest.
Chris has produced a video just to entertain the crabs, "written" a song about them, and depicted them as the ringbearers in his wedding. Chris has even invited Crass and Champ to accompany Ivy on the plane ride to Charlottesville when she visits him, so that "we can walk the hermit crabs together", suggesting that Chris has not a single clue of what hermit crabs are like aside from the fact that... they're crabs.