Boyfriend-free girl
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
A girl who is single. This is what Chris calls single women. He wants one to make into a "sweetheart from the ground-up."
Chris emphasizes the "boyfriend free" part as nearly every girl he asks out has a boyfriend for some bizarre reason (most usually a lie just to get the fuck away from the giant freak when he wasn't willing to take a "no" for answer).
He also fears "gals" that have boyfriends, which he calls Noiophobia.
Qualifications to become a Girlfriend of Chris
- MUST be boyfriend-free. (can't emphasise that enough!)
- MUST be 18 - (Chris' current age).
- MUST be white.
- MUST have a car.
- MUST have a mid to high salary.
- MUST live within 30 miles of the Ruckersville area.
- MUST NOT be a cop.
- MUST NOT have Autism.
- MUST NOT be a man.
If you fit all of the criteria and are into overweight freakish, perverse man-children, then God help you!