Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2
Shortly after the Jack Thaddeus Phone Call was released, a second one was released as well.
Transcript
Chris: Hello?
Jack: [Using a mocking high-pitched voice] Hi Chris, it's me, Kim.
Chris: No it's not.
Jack: Oh oh oh, okay I-I guess you saw through my ruse, Chris. You know. It's me Jack, your best friend... Are we friends Chris?
Chris: Hmm
Jack: Hmm?
Chris: Whatever, I don't know, but anyways what's up.
Jack: What? What do you mean- what do you mean "whatever"? What do you mean "whatever"?[Chris tries to interrupt] Goddammit man, anyways I got shit on Clyde. You-you wanna know.. you wanna know it?
Chris: Okay, what do you have on Clyde?
Jack: Well, first of all, he wears glasses.
Chris: Okay, he wears glasses.
Jack: Yeah
Chris: Go on
Jack: Second of all, he likes pokémon... for some reason. His favorite pokéman is Bidoof.
Chris: Okay ... Bidoof, okay.
Jack: Bidoof!
Chris: Yes, I know what a Bidoof is.
Jack: Yeah-eh, I'm sure you are a Bidoof
Chris: Okay well-
Jack: He also likes Sonic...
Chris: Okay.
Jack: and uh... let me see what else does he... hmm. Well Chris, that's- I guess that's all that I'm gonna tell you for now, but how was your day? I saw you made a video.
Chris: What?
Jack: I saw you made a video.
Chris: Yeah okay... Yeah, a holiday greeting video.
Jack: Uh-huh, have- I have a question Chris... Have you ever heard of St. Mary's Hospital?
Chris: St. Mary's Hospital, I have heard that name before-
Jack: In Richmond, Virginia.
Chris: Okay, so that's where- so that's where it's located.
Jack: Yes
Chris: Alright
Jack: From 1989 to 1999, I lived in Richmond.
Chris: Okay.
Jack: You also lived in Richmond.
Chris: Yeah, but I not live that-that long a time. I lived there shorter-shorter length than you... Obviously, because I lived there from '92 to 2000. Which-uh-which is like, that's like- 8
Jack: That doesn't matter, I was still in the same fucking city as you at the same time. And something else, my mother worked in the cathlab at St. Mary's.
Chris: Okay.
Jack: Now, I hear that Bob had bypass surgery. Is this true?
Chris: Yes he did.
Jack: When was this?
Chris: This was quite a few years ago, during that- during that decade.
Jack: Interesting, did- did he get it done at St. Mary's?
Chris: Hmm, I'm not sure wha- I'm not sure it was St. Mary's, uh, it was the hospital closest to uh Cloverleaf Shopping Center.
Jack: uh
Chris: That's- uh- that's a good way of describing its location anyway.
Jack: Well... o-okay I was- anyways, yeah, my mother might have operated on you father... isn't that creepy?
Chris: Okay... [Chris speaks away from the phone] Yes mom? Mom [Indistinct]
Jack: Uh-oh, UH-OH, uh-oh oh. Snorlax
Chris: 'sup mom?
Jack: [Mockingly impersonating Chris] Hi mommy, hmm. I just wanna cuddle up into your fat rolls, hmm. Yeah, hmm, yeah, [Mockingly hums like Chris while indistinct conversation happens in background, then snickers to himself] .
Chris: Okay, okay sorry about that, my mom was checking in.
Jack: [Still impersonating Chris] It's your mommy, hmm?
Chris: [Oblivious to mocking] Yeah well she wants me let the cat- let- let the cat in 'cus it's going to be very cold tonight... Uh, so anyway you're saying you mother might have operated on my father?
Jack: Yes.
Chris: Okay, well okay that's good.
Jack: I find that very creepy. I might have even run into you while you lived in Richmond.
Chris: Huh. Well, I wouldn't have known it or I wouldn't remember it at this time. So it's a possibility, yes. hmm.
Jack: That's interesting.
Chris: What-
Jack: Have you ever thought about moving out of your house?
Chris: Eventually, maybe.
Jack: Where would you want to move?
Chris: I'm not sure right now, but I would say that- I would say a nice little house in Charlottesville.
Jack: Pfft, you afford a place in Charlottesville? That's funny.
Chris: Well, well anyway, it's just, that's a long ways- that's a bit aways from now anyway.
Jack: A bit- A bit away? You're almost 30 years old, and you [muffled laughter] That CAD degree sure is coming in handy!
Chris: Oy vey. Whatever.
Jack: Oy v- oy ve- What, are your family Jewish? How much money have you made in your life, Chris?
Chris: In my lifetime... I can't count that high.
Jack: You-
Chris: I don't even, I don't even-
Jack: That's not- No- That's not- That's not- No, no, no, no, no. Money that you get from the Government is not money that you make. That is money that is given to you so that you can buy the essentials. Food, medicine and clothing.
Chris: Yeah.
[Ends at 5:43]