Difference between revisions of "PlayStation 4"

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#redirect [[PlayStation consoles#PS4]]
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The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]]. It is the best selling console of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by [[January 2016]].
 
Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]]. He did however show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.
 
This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]].
 
==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] alongside a slew of specifications -  notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle. Whomsoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be "reimbursed" with a $500 voucher for Chris's [[Etsy]] shop - Chris naturally believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth hundreds of dollars. In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Having already given extremely specific demands for this "gift", Chris would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further elaborate]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle ''and'' camera would reduce the value on the voucher.
 
===Sorry, but really though give me a PS4===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with a customarily insincere apology - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended - then ''reiterates his demands'' at the end of the video.
 
===Things go sour===
Incredibly, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. Bizarrely, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.
 
==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]
 
However, despite all his whining, it transpired on [[March 2016|March 5th, 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was widely held that Chris had just bought it for himself, but Chris credited a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington" as the ludicrously magnanimous donor. Closer examination of his Facebook page and of the order details showed that, of course, Chris had just bought it himself.. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.
 
==Epilogue==
Having spent hundreds of dollars on a toy, Chris began to beg incessantly for donations he did nothing to earn shortly after in videos such as [[HELP, PLEASE!!!]]
 
==PS4 games Chris owns==
 
<center>
[[Image:PSNTracker.png|PSN Activity tracker]]<br/>
<span style="font-size:120%;">'''Chris''' was last spotted playing '''''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''''' for the [[PlayStation 4|PS4]].<br>
Chris has spent over '''$8581.62''' of [[Monthly tugboat|YOUR money]]!</span><br/>
<span style="font-size:80%;">Chris's [[PSN]] is '''Sonichu'''. You can see his profile [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here].</span>
</center>
 
'''Note:''' As of present, this table only covers games that Chris has earned at least one trophy in (there are several more which he has evidently not even touched; the full list can be seen [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here]).
 
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Transformers]] Devastation''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|12
|57%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] 3''
|7
|14%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] DIMENSIONS''
|47
|81%
|A "[[toys]]-to-life" game (ala ''Skylanders'' or [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]]) that is rather infamous for [[Chris and money|being much more expensive]] than its competitors.
|-
|''[[Guitar Hero]] Live''
|2
|2%
|
|-
|''Destiny''
|6
|9%
|Star of [[CWC's Destiny start|a "Let's Play"]] (that was [[Brutal Legend|completely silent]], thanks to Chris's cluelessness).
|-
|''[[PaRappa the Rapper]] 2''
|4
|19%
|
|-
|}
 
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Latest revision as of 02:14, 15 August 2023

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