View source for So Need a Cute Girl

{{quote|Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, [[So Lonesome|lonliness]] [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch Bitch]], I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the [[Semen|SALTY]], [[Chris and anger|AGGRESSIVE]], and [[Clyde Cash|TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES]] and [[Homos|NOT TO MOST]] [[JERKS|MEN]] type of MAN that I AM.|[[Chris]] commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl," 11 [[November 2007]] [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED edit]].<ref name="ed">[http://web.archive.org/web/20091223054201/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 Encyclopedia Dramatica (Wayback Machine), as of 12/23/2009]</ref>}}

'''"So Need a Cute Girl"''' is the first track off of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|eponymous debut album]]. It is sung over a live version of "{{w|I Want It That Way}}" by the {{w|Backstreet Boys}} on their 2000 '''Into the Millennium Tour'''.<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_KRcrMD5uU&t=5890s</ref> [[Chris]] has described it in an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] edit as his "[[Love Quest|sweetheart search]] theme song."<ref name="ed"/> It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.

Bizarrely enough, since [[November 2013]] the song has been available for download for 89 cents on Amazon's MP3 store. As Chris has never mentioned this, it is very likely a [[Carpetbaggers|carpetbagger]] put it up there to make money off of it without his permission.

In 2016, Chris made a [[Singing an ol' diddy|remake]] of the song for the Paid Video Requests, replacing the words "I have a boyfriend" with "I'm already taken" to include [[tomgirl|lesbians]]. In a [[2017]] retrospective, Chris admitted that hearing his old song made him cringe, also misidentifying the original artist behind the song as {{w|*NSYNC}} instead of the Backstreet Boys.<ref>[[September 2017 Facebook posts#Opinion on Sachumo's CWC Documentary|"And then, I heard the old song I sang, that makes me cringe now, in tune to "I Want It That Way" from N*Sync..."]]</ref>

==Song==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name           = "So Need a Cute Girl"
| ytid           = 0tCrBvkTVZA
| Stardate       = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| maker          = Chris
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}
| style          = {{Tragedy|[[Noviophobia]]}}, {{Rage|[[Virgin with Rage]]}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| other          = {{Audio|text}}
| previous       = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
| next           = [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
}}</center>

=== Lyrics===

[''sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"'']

[[Chris and his ego|Hey! Look at me!]]<br>
I'm sitting here sad and lonely!<br>

Without a [[2014 house fire|fire]],<br>
But a desire<br>
To ''not'' hear you say,<br>
[[Noviophobia|"I have a boyfriend!"]]<br>

And I see da ladies walking<br>
Along one by one,<br>
And I never wanna hear,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>

Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]!<br>
Tell me why<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
Tell me why<br>
I ain't ever wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>

And I have no fire<br>
But a desire<br>
To ''not'' hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>

Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I ain't ever wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>

Why do all of the [[jerks]]<br>
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!)<br>
You may not notice,<br>
But I want you to know<br>
That I am a lonesome heart!<br>

And I have no fire,<br>
But a desire<br>
To ''not'', to not, to not<br>
''Heeeaaar…''<br>

Stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
So need a cute girl my age!<br>
I never wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>

Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I ain't ever wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>

Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I ain’t ever wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>

Never say it, now!

<span style="font-size:x-small">&#42; ''In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."''</span>

<span style="font-size:x-small">*&#42; ''In some versions of the song, "I ain't ever wanna hear you say, / I have a boyfriend" is replaced by the alternative lyric "I really mean it when I say, / I need a girlfriend."''</span>

<span style="font-size:x-small">*&#42; ''In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|his ED edits]], these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"<ref name="ed"/>''</span>

<span style="font-size:x-small">*&#42; ''In more recent versions, he replaces "I have a boyfriend!" with "I'm already taken!"'"<ref name="ed"/>''</span>

==Music video==
{{Main|All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend}}

==Live performance==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name           = So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance
| ytid           = wlP5VhuJubE
| stardate       = 12 [[July 2009]]
| maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum Scarlet]
| subject        = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Other|[[Noviophobia]]}}
| style          = {{Rage|[[Virgin with Rage]]}}, {{Crazy|[[Chris and hypocrisy|Drunk]]}}
| shirt          = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| other          = {{Live|text}}
| previous       = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next           = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27s_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
}}</center>

On 12 [[July 2009]], one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving [[Chris's Big Night Out II|their first public performance]] (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video (in which, in an attempt to evoke Michael Jackson, he <s>slaps his hand on</s> grabs his crotch) makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.

=== Transcript ===
'''Chris:''' [''fervently slaps crotch at the end''] LADIES, ALL HANDS ON ME. [''There are no takers, just laughter'']

'''Man:''' [''bewildered''] Oh-whoa-''WHOOOOA there, buddy!!'' Whoa-ho, you got that on film!

==Covers==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|GDqJ4VuzhnU}}
| stardate       = 30 [[June 2009]]
| maker          = {{Liquid|text}}
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type           = Song Cover
| info           = ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'' response from the real Chris Chandler.<br>Main vocals by Liquid's brother, SimplySpoons/Jon D.
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|8DTg4nx_dCE}}
| stardate       = 4 [[January 2012]]
| maker          = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type           = Song Cover
| info           = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = So Need a Cute Girl (Medley)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|xjuc5iQ-eAk}}
| stardate       = 11 [[June 2012]]
| maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/GhostofBillRiley GhostofBillRiley]
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type           = Song Cover
| info           = A medley of several covers mixed together with the original.
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = Negative XP - So Need A Cute Girl
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|4uej-Z9YDrk}}
| stardate       = 30 [[July 2019]]
| maker          = [https://soundcloud.com/negativexp Negative XP]
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type           = Song Cover (Mirrored)
| info           = Cover made by Negative XP 
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = christian and the hedgehog boys - so need a cute girl (glueboy cover)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|37XB_ahoMWk}}
| stardate       = 21 [[April 2021]]
| maker          = [https://open.spotify.com/artist/0V0ff56r4CNnLzL7yqgkYE lil glueboy]
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type           = Song Cover
| info           = Usually in [https://www.tiktok.com/music/so-need-a-cute-girl-6959567166924392449 TikTok videos about Chris]
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = So Need a Cute Girl Goes DEATH METAL - Your Noble Truths
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|utr6qfkc0h8}}
| stardate       = 20 [[April 2022]]
| maker          = [https://youtube.com/channel/UCGzE8BnIRI2fvlLfaMCG05g Your Noble Truths]
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type           = Song Cover
| info           = Cover by Your Noble Truths, Art and editing by [https://youtube.com/c/JavaJake Java Jake]
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name           = So Need a Cute Girl - The Puzzyslayers (CHRIS CHAN COVER)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|gqwYEfksPfU}}
| stardate       = 28 [[September 2023]]
| maker          = The Puzzyslayers
| subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| type           = Song Cover
| info           = Cover by the Puzzyslayers}}

== References ==
<references/>

== See also ==
*[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Virgin with rage]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]|}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Love quest}}
{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2004-12-24]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Music Videos]]