Difference between revisions of "Tobacky"

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[[File:100 0695.JPG|thumb|NO SMOKING and [[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]] - two of Chris's [[Cherokee|war cries]]]]
#REDIRECT [[Chris and drugs#Tobacco]]
[[File:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|thumb|Authentic CWC ashtray, perfect for launching at the Moon.]]
{{Quote|And smoking will eventually cause cancer, and it will—you'll be more likely to get [[Obesity|heart attacks]], [[14 Branchland Court|viruses]], and your life will be cut drastically short. They don't call cigarettes and cigars "[[Star Wars|death sticks]]" for nothing, other than killing you slowly. If I could, I would take every last ounce of tobacky, put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to [[the Moon]].|[[Chris]]<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref>}}
 
'''Tobacky''', also known as "tobacco," is a recreational drug derived from ''Nicotiana'' plants. If Chris could, he would send every last ounce of tobacky on a rocket to [[the Moon]].
 
One of the prerequisites for a [[sweetheart]] that Chris has never veered from is that she be "smoke-free."<ref>[[OkCupid]]</ref><ref>[[Dating profiles]]</ref><ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>
 
Given his flip-flopping regarding his hatred of [[alcohol]], it is uncertain whether Chris has ever smoked, although he did pretend to smoke a "peace pipe" for [[Jackie]].<ref>[[Wigwam]]</ref>
 
==Chris on tobacky==
[[Image:Tobacco.jpg|thumb|A [[niggo]] harvests some tobacky.]]
 
[[Image:CastleWily.png‎|thumb|The Tobacky Factory from Chris' nightmares, according to [[Troll]] Eyewitness reports.]]
 
In his famous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]] of 24 February [[2007]], Chris expressed his wish for all tobacky to be shot to the Moon.
 
In an [[ED]] edit from 10 November [[2007]] regarding a comment about [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris said he was uncomfortable saying the word "tobacco."<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>
 
Chris's tobacky rocket plan was elaborated on in [[January 2009]]:
{{quote|[[Honor roll|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well]].|Chris<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>}}
 
Chris has also related a [[dreams|dream]] he once had regarding the risks posed by tobacco consumption:
{{Quote|I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, going through BURNING OVENS, coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.|Chris's cigarette nightmare<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref>}}
 
Chris has stated that tobacco and alcohol importation is the most severe crime in [[CWCville]] and warrants "ten years [imprisonment] or fifteen hundred dollar fine."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]]</ref> In short, importing cigarettes is worse than [[rape]], [[Sonichu|theft]], [[Death threats|murder]], or even being a [[homo]] in [[CWCville]].
 
==Cannabis==
Chris seems to have an even stronger hatred for [[Wikipedia:Cannabis (drug)|cannabis]], despite it being hailed as a possible [[autism]] treatment.<ref>[http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/autism-treatment-marijuana-madness-8763721]</ref> This is evidenced by the fact that, in CWCville, cigarette smokers are only given a US$1,500 fine, but those who simply possess weed are taken to a maximum security prison, the same place CWCville detains [[Mary Lee Walsh|terrorist leaders]], as was the fate of Kathleen in the [[Book10Replacement]].
 
Interestingly, the Jamaican war veteran [[Inos]] from the original [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] somehow managed to escape this sentence, instead being forced into a soup hotel by [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Dialogue indicates it was because Sonichu believed he was actually smoking tobacco, despite him being high as a kite, unintentionally revealing that Chris may believe tobacco and cannabis to be interchangeable. The fact that "wacky '''tobacky'''" was used as a name for cannabis back in the [[Bob Chandler|1940s and 50s]] further adds weight to this theory.
 
== Sources ==
<references/>
{{CWC-isms}}
 
==See also==
*[[Alcohol]]
*[[The Moon]]
 
[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Latest revision as of 16:04, 4 December 2020

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