Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[Image:HeilbergPortraitNew.jpg|150px|right]]
[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|150px|right]]


'''David Leonard Heilberg''' is Chris's defense lawyer for his [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge. Heilberg was assigned due to Chris being too poor to hire a lawyer, causing the court to grant him one, and unfortunately Heilberg didn’t know what he was getting into by agreeing to be his lawyer. Despite this, Heilberg spent the next year a half on this case, eventually ending with Chris's charges being dismissed.
'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is a trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with {{w|Fecal incontinence|fecal leakage}}. Coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009, it has quickly become a popular catchphrase.


Heilberg has been a lawyer for more than 50 years, and has won multiple awards for his work. Heilberg was also the attorney for the DC sniper, {{w|John Allen Muhammad}}, who was executed in 2009.
In short, Chris unwittingly shits himself often. Even after encouragement from his doctor and from his mother, Chris would refuse to wear [[butt garments]] because, according to the [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]], he felt they were for [[Sonee & Rosey|babies]]. He had only one or two episodes where he wore the butt garments, though they were only worn because Ivy told him it was his punishment for cheating on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.


('''[[David Heilberg|More...]]''')
Considering that Chris's bowel issues have been occurring since childhood, it's most likely related to his [[autism]], as bowel issues have been known to occur among people with the disorder, particularly in the more severely-affected types.
 
('''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|More...]]''')

Revision as of 10:10, 13 November 2023

Autobiographical.jpg

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS is a trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with fecal leakage. Coined by Chris himself in an IRC chat from January 2009, it has quickly become a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris unwittingly shits himself often. Even after encouragement from his doctor and from his mother, Chris would refuse to wear butt garments because, according to the Ivy Q&A, he felt they were for babies. He had only one or two episodes where he wore the butt garments, though they were only worn because Ivy told him it was his punishment for cheating on her with Vanessa Hudgens. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart Ivy), stress tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

Considering that Chris's bowel issues have been occurring since childhood, it's most likely related to his autism, as bowel issues have been known to occur among people with the disorder, particularly in the more severely-affected types.

(More...)