Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)

This page is an archive of Kim Wilson's key posts about Chris on the online forum, Kiwi Farms, under the username LoveYouLongTime. Posts are sorted by date.

Emily and Kim Personas

13 September 2016

In response to a user's comment, "You said he smells like rotten watermelon. Did you ever mention to him that he smells?":

Not as Emily. We made a call to Chris after the date reaming him out for trying to kiss her. As Kim I would poke him a little with, "Chris, women don't want to date you because they heard you smell bad!" "*STRESS SIGH* I do not smell bad!"

McDonalds Ban

23 March 2017

In response to a user's comment, "@LoveYouLongTime mentioned that Chris got kicked out a McDonalds a few years ago. Was it the one Chris talked about in this post? Did he get banned from there?":

He was only temp banned. He was stealing news papers for his dogs to piss and shit on.

More on McDonalds Ban

25 March 2017

In response to a user's comment, "Lol, was he stealing free papers or like the USA today copies they keep by the counter?":

Not the free newspapers, but the local newspaper that costs money. People would leave them behind after purchasing, reading through them, then leaving them behind when they left. I have a feeling that Chris loitered and creeped around longer than wanted and took the first opportunity when people got up to leave to snatch up the papers, which, you know, is fucking weird. Like, yeah, the papers left behind will be trashed but I'm sure if Chris wasn't, you know, himself, and asked the workers there if it was okay(with an explanation to explain the odd question), they would have been okay with it.

License Plate

23 July 2020

In response to a user's comment, "I believe on of the Catherine dates was also to an Applebee's, and if I'm not mistaken that's where @LoveYouLongTime went with him in the videos of him drinking and singing karaoke as well.":

We went to Applebee's one time. The karaoke was at this Mexican restaurant where he put sugar in his Bud Lite. As it's safe to tell this part of the story since I no longer have the vehicle and license plate tag, back then when he first discovered alcohol we were at the Mexican restaurant. The parking lot was really small. As we were leaving he just happened to be parked next to me. Later that night I did a call and he repeated my license plate back to me and asked me what it meant. Panicking, we got the guy playing as my boyfriend to get on the line to scare the shit out of Chris into forgetting my license plate. Lesson learned, I always made the effort to park farther away even if it meant in another lot and just walked. I'm curious what restaurant he chose, anyone know?

Boyfriend Character

23 July 2020

In response to a user's comment, "I notice his hyperfocus is pretty selective with women. I don't believe you'd fake a relationship if it was purely autism.":

Yes in most aspects but Chris notices dumb shit like that especially if it's right there in front of his face. If my car was parked spaces away he probably wouldn't have noticed. Reaching into the reservoirs of my memories of back then, I'm laughing about how we had to create a boyfriend character for me just to keep him from being too creepy. It worked most of the time and when he would overstep his boundaries we had said boyfriend get on the line to spook him. He would metaphorically go into hedgehog defense mode. It also worked to our advantage if we wanted him to do something and he was more inclined to do it if I fed him a story about how me and the boyfriend were fighting.

Introducing Chris to Friend

23 July 2020

A user asked LoveYouLongTime to describe the friend visit.

A friend was coming to visit from out of town and he had been such a huge fan of Sonichu for a long time(kek). I never planned to hang out with Chris ever again but I figured it would be a last good hoorah and as a treat to my friend. So I set up it up and we met at The Tea Bazaar. Another friend came along as well. Chris showed up looking like he got dressed in a Goodwill with his eyes closed with his damn Sonichu medallions and tacky ass arm bands and braclets. Introductions included introducing us to Magichan and I think Mewtwo who were supposed to be sitting in some empty seating. Afterwards, almost fucking immediately he pulled out this fairly large pouch from under his shirt which was around his neck. He dumped the contents out on the table which were a bunch of crystals and rocks. For the next agonizing half hour+ he picked up every single one to tell us what it was and what "properties" it had. No matter how hard we tried to change the subject he immediately went back to powering through his rock collection. Nothing would deter him. Eventually the rock lecture ended and we were free to steer the conversation elsewhere. He gifted me a copy of one of his comics and an amethyst stone which I later gave my friend because I didn't need those cursed items in my house. Most of the conversation was him talking about the other dimension and his powers. He bragged about how he was able to produce electricity with his hand, in which he held out his hand in a claw like manor, the concentration on his face akin to that of an infant trying to pass a hard poop. Then he asked if we could see it which we didn't indulge him and told him no. His response was along the lines of "Mmm, okay." He told me he was able to produced sparks with his magical highschool ring when he struck it against some stone on his bracelet. I told him the stone in his ring was chipped from doing that. My friend humored him a little bit asking him questions about toon world. Friend kept using words like Armageddon and the apolocalypse which Chris didn't like. Friend also compared him to Robotnik which he got mad at. Honestly, I zoned out a lot of the time because really, Chris is fucking boring. He's an entertaining novelty for about 30 minutes. Longer than that, you start to wonder why you put yourself in that situation.