September 2016 Paid Video Requests
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This page lists the video requests that Chris was paid to do in September 2016.
Happy Birthday, Alex
| Happy Birthday, Alex | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 6 September 2016 |
| Performance Style |  Reason
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| Saga |  Business
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| Shirt | Do What Makes You Happy |
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous August 2016 Paid Video Requests | |
Description
| via YouTube Capture |
Transcript
Hello, Alex! This is Christine Chandler coming live to 'ya from home. Pretty much an inconvenient moment... anyway, wish you a happy birthday! I hope you had a good one today anyway.
Bir...
...late in the day then, the day after. Anyway, happy birthday to you, true and honest love fan. Zap to the extreme. Take care, stay safe.
Paid Message to the Trolls
Chris answers a paid-request addressed to Kiwi Farms. Chris was inclined to censor the message, albeit allowing the term "vag"—probably because it feeds into his delusion of self-femininity. Throughout the video, Chris trails off into elongated, high-pitched muddles—especially when uttering "Christine". Chris appears unmoved by message. Since it's unlikely he recognized the satirical nature of it, Chris would have saw the message as championing him and disparaging the trolls, yet he responds emotionlessly, "Personal opinion... eh whatever."
Chris's TV appears to be on, flickering during the duration of this video.
Unrelated to the request, Chris picks up his toys and performs a skit mocking 2016 presidential candidate, Donald Trump. Representing Trump as an orange block of legos, Chris uses a blue-hair figure to kick the block. He pauses for a few moments before mildly exclaiming "Goal!" It's more likely than not, Chris is spoon-fed political views from CollegeHumor[1]
| Paid Message to the Trolls | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 7 September 2016 |
| Performance Style | Reason
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| Saga | Business
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| next CHRIS CHAN INTERVIEW | |
Description
| via YouTube Capture |
Transcript
Hello this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from home with a, paid message, to the internet trolls. But specifically, the KiwiFarms. Alright, quote, and I'm censoring the language:
"Hey there everybody. It's your old pal, your old friend, Lord Armstrong! And I'm here to tell all of you *high-pitched beep*, at KiwiFarms, how much I hate all of yous.
First off, what I want (high pitched mocking voice starts) you to do, is leave Christine alone. I love Criteen and *mumbles*. I would do anything for Criteen, anything. I'm the only one fit to see her vaaag. The only one who gets to see Criteen Ch-chandler... Criteen Weston Chandler's vag.
Ook, God, Fuh-you no, fuh-you Hellblazer, fuh-you Flowers for So-Ni-Chuuu, fuh-you Trickie and (high pitched mocking voice ends) Blank for your rip off...comics, that sully Christine's True and Honest work, and most of all, fuh-you LoveYouLongTime for spreading Christine's personal emails about... A-about the lady he was with a few years ago, or she was with years ago. She was the first person of true and honest, to Criteen and loved her forsh-for who she was. Go to heck all of you, sincerely yours, your buddy, your pal, Lord Armstrong."
That's what he said. *sigh* Personal opinion? Eh, whatever. And now for a special bonus. Here is what I say to, orange face. Orange face Donald Trump, and his anti-feministic ways. Trump, you can take a dump! Goal! Thank you, have a good day.
We Like Pearl
Bizarrely, Chris entitled the video as "We" instead of "I".
Chris's fandom of Steven Universe and his subsequent eagerness to fulfill this request should come as a surprise to no one. Steven Universe is a cartoon saturated with unsubtle messages which pander to social justice warriors. The show is often regarded as having one of the worst followings; e.g., Chris.
Chris goes on a rant describing how he relates to his favorite character from the show, Pearl. Chris identifies with her ability to learn from her mistakes, her vast knowledge, her understanding of her limitations, and her articulate way of speaking; the blatant irony of all this being that these are attributes Chris has never acquired or strived to develop in his life. In a more bizarre turn, Chris confesses to coveting the outfit of this cartoon character--who has slenderest figure in the show. How Chris could even imagine himself fitting into that dress, harkens back to how he represented himself in the comics (as slim and athletic). It would appear then Chris is still in denial over his obesity.
| We Like Pearl | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 27 September 2016 |
| Performance Style |  Tragedy
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| Saga | Business
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| Shirt |  The Clopper
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Description
| via YouTube Capture |
Transcript
Oh, Wait. I've got one more...
| Oh, Wait. I've got one more... | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 27 September 2016 |
| Performance Style | Tragedy
|
| Saga | Business
|
| Shirt | The Clopper
|
Description
| via YouTube Capture |