Red String of Fate

The red string, as shown in Excel Saga.

The Red String of Fate was a plot Chris came up with in 2004 to attract a boyfriend-free girl. He probably got it from Excel Saga or some other shitty animu series, as the red string is allegedly an important metaphor in Asian courting ritual.

According to Lucas and Mimms, Chris would attach a paper heart to a red string and throw it at women, the pull the string like he was "reeling" them in.

On August 5 2004, a security-guard took Chris's red string off him. It's the last we've ever heard of the idea.

“

"I have a NEW idea that I am sure will REEL in a girlfriend on a FATEFUL RED STRING. August 5: I’ve had my worst trip to the Mall. I was working with my Heart on a Red String of Fate, when from out the blue,a JERK COP shatter my Heart and ripped up the Red String!"

”