Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009
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Possibly under pressure from Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé, Christian uploads this video to deny his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica as officially as possible. He also forbids everyone from looking at it.
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Transcript
Hello. I record this message in res--in response to the Encyclopedia Dramatica page that has been against me since November a couple of years ago. I he--I am hereby making it official and making a statement that every detail, the majority of the--the midority to every single detail on that heinous page against me, is all a pack o' LIES. A bunch of slanders. Twists of my own actual words and drawings and such, for the, for the trolls-slash-internet bullies' own evil purposes.
To actually, to actually best understand me...I am a good person. I'm a good person. I'm good-natured. But I will show my faaaAAAAAANNngsss when I have to. Only when I have to. I'm showin' my fangs right now against that page.
Especially when I can--and they can be easily proven from among every single gal pal and acquaintance I've ever...had in my life in person, or a few over the--or some over the internet who were tr--who were actually who we--who they were. The true loyal people on the internet, who do not lie. And that includes my sweetheart, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, and all the women on the Sonichu Girls forum. And every--and, uh, in real life, the people in my church's congregation including my, uh, pastor, and my pastoral conselor--counselor who I see on a weekly basis just to, uh, talk and shoot some j--just, uh, talk and let stress out, with, uh, with an open ear and an open heart and open understanding. And I appreciate that, because it makes me feel better understood, just like the girls on the Son--on the Sonichu Girls forum have m--have proven themselves to be true because they understand me and...what I, what I mean in my honest words without any of these slanderous twists and turns those evil trolls have done and put on that slanderous page on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
So I'm making it official: Nobody will be allowed--FOREVER--able to use anything on that page, that Encyclopedia Dramatica page, with the name "Chris-Chan" or some--or something similar along the lines of running to "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler," or even "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christian Christopher Weston Chandler"...among those names. Because I'm making it official: I DENOUNCE EVERYTHING on that page, and I advise NOBODY to even THINK about clicking on the link, even though it appears on a Google search. I DENOUNCE everything on that Encyclopedia Dramatica page, and everything ELSE on the whole Encyclopedia Dramatica website. And also, to throw a little--at the risk of throwing wood into the fire......I will off--I give that website and everybody--every single troll who has contributed to that page and the website, to go against not only me, but all the innocent victims they have por--they have portrayed against, including the, uh, worst troll of them all...4chan...I curse y'all to bad luck, and misery[?] misfortune. Shin-yay-ha-may-HAAAGH!
Peace.