Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown

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In June 2007, Sony Computer Entertainment America (SCEA) announced the Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown contest to promote the video game PaRappa the Rapper. Contestants were to film themselves performing one of three PaRappa songs a Capella. The grand prize winner of the contest would receive two PSPs and an all-expenses-paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo.

The contest was of monumental importance as it would achieve goals for Christian Weston Chandler on multiple fronts. Beyond his innate desire to win contests by making an ass of himself on film, Chris hoped to bestow one of the PSPs to his beloved Megan Schroeder and invite her to accompany him on the trip, thereby creating an opportunity for her to give in to her obvious passion for him. The potential benefits could not be understated. Failure to win the contest was not an option. To ensure nothing less than total victory, Chris elected to perform the Chop Chop Master Onion Rap.

Campaign

Chris also badgered his half-brother Cole Smithey to vote for him in return for him finding out information from his mother whom Cole's biological father was. Chris' wasn't interested in Cole's plight, and in return Cole never voted for him.

Results

Despite the fact that Chris tried to cheat and stuff the ballet with an endless stream of votes on different fake accounts the competition was eventually won by Adam Stackhouse, whom Chris bares a grudge against for winning as he felt Adam had cheated in order to win the contest.

Aftermath

During Christian's struggle to be recognized as the rightful winner of the contest, Megan informed him that she was glad he lost and that she would never have gone with him on the trip if he had won.


Master Onion A-La Mode

Transcript

Hey, P-Station, my name is Christian Chandler
I live in Ruckersville, Virginia!
I have a PSP, I like to rap
I play PaRappa, and go with him now
The only song I know is "Master Onion"
Which I got from a demo I borrowed from my friend Megan!

I have a PSP and she don't
So give me the PSP, unwrap the wrapper
So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!

So here we go, we're gonna sing it now
Master Onion, A-La Mode!

Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you will find
That you all things, I'll teach ya sure to beat ya,
Nevertheless you'll get a lesson from teacher now

Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
Block (Block)

Once more now Kick (Kick)
Punch (Punch)
Chop (Chop)
And Block (Block)

Don't get cocky, it's doesn't get rocky,
We gonna move down to the next ya jockey now

Duck (Duck)
Jump (Jump)
Turn (Turn)
And Pose (Pose)

Listen carefully Jump (Jump)
Pose (Pose)
Duck (Duck)
and Turn (Turn)

Hmm, yeah, I see you're getting better,
Kick to the limit in order to get her now

Kick Punch (Kick Punch)
Chop Block (Chop Block)
Chop Kick (Chop Kick)
Punch Block (Punch Block)

It's gonna get harder now Duck & Jump (Duck & Jump)
Turn & Pose (Turn & Pose)
Duck & Turn (Duck & Turn)
Jump & Pose (Jump Pose)

Come on now, why don't you follow my words,
Because we're almost done I'll make things worse
I wanna see if you wanna see what it means
To be the man with the master plan. Are you the man now?

Here we go now Kick Punch Block (Kick Punch Block)
Chop Kick Block (Chop Kick Block)
Block Turn & Kick it (Block Turn & Kick it)
Block Duck Punch (Block Duck Punch)
Duck Duck Turn (Duck Duck Turn)
Jump Kick Chop (Jump Kick Chop)
and Punch Punch Punch (Punch Punch Punch)

That's it for today
Good job, PaRappa You can go to the next stage now
Yahoo! Alright!!

PaRappa, I'm so proud of you
Congratulations are a [???]

Again, what? That ain't so good
[completely unintelligible]
I'm outta here!

Guitar Hero on PlayStation 3
Don't press the PS button after select hang, see?
Make sure you hook up with the converter controller
To rock on, yo! Nananananaaaa!

Rap rap rap! That's a rap!