I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas

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Chris's Christmas poem from Sonichu's News Dash #6, dated 04 December 2004.

Text

I want a girlfriend for Christmas, now and forevermore.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, so I won’t be lonely anymore.
She should be 18-22.
And she ought to be Boyfriend-Free too.
Why do all the Jerks get all the pretty girls,
Leaving me with none to choose from.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to share my love, oh.
I want a girlfriend for Christmas, to kiss under the mistletoe.