Crass and Champ

Crass and Champ are the pet hermit crabs of Ivy. Since Ivy is Chris's sweetheart of the hour, he is fixated on any detail he can learn about her; beyond even that, he seems to be psychotically obsessed with Ivy's crabs. He seems to believe Crass is male and Champ is female.

The crabs are, of course, named after two of the trolls, Crasscrab and Champthom. Most people who know these names (which should include Chris since he's spoken to them on IRC) made the connection instantly; Chris has not.

To date Chris has produced a video just to entertain the crabs, "written" a song about them, and depicted them as the ringbearers in his wedding. Chris has even invited Crass and Champ to accompany Ivy on the plane ride to Charlottesville when she visits him, so that "we can walk the hermit crabs together." Basically Chris thinks hermit crabs are like small dogs.