Crass and Champ
Crass and Champ are the pet hermit crabs of Ivy, named in honor of CWC trolls CrassCrab (disgruntled former PVCC admin and general curmudgeonTHE BEST MOTHER FUCKER EVER!) and Champthom (CWCki admin).
Since Ivy was Chris's sweetheart of the hour, he was fixated on any detail he could learn about her. Beyond even that, he seemed to be psychotically obsessed with her crabs. The fact that Crass is male and Champ is female, yet both have masculine names never seemed to bother Chris, which is odd as he tends to hate the homos. Likewise, the thought of Ivy having crabs never seemed to faze Chris in the slightest.
To date, Chris has produced a video just to entertain the crabs, "written" a song about them, and depicted them as the ringbearers in his wedding. Chris has even invited Crass and Champ to accompany Ivy on the plane ride to Charlottesville when she visits him, so that "we can walk the hermit crabs together", suggesting that Chris has no fucking clue what hermit crabs are like aside from the fact that... they're crabs.