Difference between revisions of "So Need a Cute Girl"

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{{quote|Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, [[So Lonesome|lonliness]] [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch Bitch]], I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the [[Semen|SALTY]], [[Chris and anger|AGGRESSIVE]], and TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES and NOT TO MOST [[JERKS|MEN]] type of MAN that I AM.|[[Chris]] commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl", 11 [[November 2007]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED edit]]<ref name="ed">http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821</ref>}}


'''"So Need a Cute Girl"''' is the first track off ''[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]''. Chris describes it in an [[ED]] edit as his "[[love Quest|sweetheart search]] theme song."<ref name="ed"/> It is arguably his greatest hit.
==Song==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, Audio Only
| image          = {{#ev:youtube|-51Z5Q8hPbQ}}
| Stardate      = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| Maker          = Chris
| Subject Matter  = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}}
| previous      = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
| next          = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
}}</center>
=== Lyrics===
[''sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"'']
Hey! Look at me!<br>
I'm sitting here sad and lonely!<br>
Without a fire,<br>
But a desire<br>
To ''not'' hear you say,<br>
[[Noviophobia|"I have a boyfriend!"]]<br>
And I see the ladies walking<br>
Along one by one,<br>
And I never wanna hear,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>
Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]! *<br>
Tell me why<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
Tell me why<br>
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"**<br>
And I have no fire<br>
But a desire<br>
To ''not'' hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>
Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I ain't never wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>
Why do all of the jerks<br>
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!)<br>
You may not notice,<br>
But I want you to know<br>
That I am a lonesome heart!<br>
And I have no fire,<br>
But a desire<br>
To ''not'', to not, to not<br>
''Heeeaaar…''<br>
Stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
So need a cute girl my age!<br>
I never wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>
Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
(Tell me why)<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>
Tell me why<br>
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage!<br>
I so need a cute girl my age!<br>
I ain’t never wanna hear you say,<br>
"I have a boyfriend!"<br>
Never say it, now!
<span style="font-size:x-small">&#42; ''In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."''</span>
<span style="font-size:x-small">*&#42; ''In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of [[List_of_Christian's_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|his ED edits]], these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"<ref>[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821]</ref>''</span>
==Music video==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video (Featuring Performance of "All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend")
| image          = {{#ev:youtube|6azwhe8xhVI}}
| Stardate      = 20 [[December 2004]]
| Maker          = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter  = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| Shirt          = {{ClassicShirt|text}}
| Other          = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous      = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Song|Sp Meed a Cute Girl, Audio Only]]
| next          = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Live_performance|So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance]]
}}</center>
Filmed in December [[2004]] to promote Christian's [[Love Quest]]. Don't miss the rare B-side track, "[[All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend]]"
===Introductory notes===
Hello. My name is, uh, Christian Chandler, age 22 at this time. I'll be 23 on February 24th, [[2005]]. [''clears throat''] Eh, anyway, uh, for over a year, now, I've, uh, been trying to attract an 18-to-22-year-old [[boyfriend-free girl]]—18-to-21 before February 24, 2004, which is this year. Anyhoo, been tryin' for over a year to attract a girl—boyfriend-free girl—and I have [[fail]]ed.[Chris sits on the floor] And, you know, when you got—when you have so much—so many failures at this time, [Chris pets his Menchi plushie] you can't help but feel sad, you know? And depressed? And here it is, about [[Christmas#2004|Christmastime]], and, well, all I want for Christmas is a [[boyfriend-free girl]]. And, a'course, uh, during the time, I have, uh, been a—trying, I written a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|few songs]], about my, uh, Love Quest. And, so, for now—for now, I'd like to sing to you my, uh, two a'—two a'my songs. [''clears throat and stands up''] First one I'm gonna sing is one I've, uhh, made up first, wri'en my own lyrics to, into a tune to this song. By the way, [''points to [[Sonichu medallion]] around neck''] this, here, is Sonichu. You can look him up on the web. [''???''] just put in S-O-N-I-C-H-U as your web search term. Anyway, here's my first song, called "So Need A Cute Girl."
[''Performs songs'']
[[Sigh|[''Chris sighs'']]] Well, at this time of year, all I can say right now is... that I hope [[Santa]] will comply with my request and bring me... a pretty girlfriend. And so... happy holidays from... me, Christian Chandler—by the way, you can call my Chris in public—and... thank you.
==Live performance==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance
| image          = {{#ev:youtube|wlP5VhuJubE}}
| Stardate      = 12 [[July 2009]]
| Maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum Scarlet]
| Subject Matter  = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Crazy|text}}, Drunk
| Shirt          = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| Other          = {{Live|text}}
| previous      = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next          = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27s_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
}}</center>
On 12 [[July 2009]], one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving [[Chris's Big Night Out II|their first public performance]] (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.
===Transcript===
(Fervently grabs crotch at the end) LADIES, [[Adult Swim|ALL HANDS ON ME]]. (There are no takers, just laughter)
==Covers==
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|0WtTzvbz9e0}}
| Stardate      = 30 [[June 2009]]
| Maker          = {{Liquid|text}}
| Subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Typer    = Song Cover
| Other Info    = [[Sonichu: The Animated Series]] response from the real Chris Chandler.
}}</center>
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Harry D. and The PVCC Girls - "So Need a Cute Girl" cover
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|rOrKYhMjYKg}}
| Stardate      = 19 [[July 2009]]
| Maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/dadatsointsoin dadatsointsoin]
| Subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Type    = Song Cover
| Other Info    = Includes animated video.
}}</center>
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|GDqJ4VuzhnU}}
| Stardate      = 25 [[July 2009]]
| Maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/AngusHiggens AngusHiggens]
| Subject        = So Need a Cute Girl
| Video Type    = Song Cover
| Other Info    = Said to feature guest backing vocals from [[Liquid Chris]].
}}</center>
==Sauces==
<references/>
==See also:==
*[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Virgin with Rage]]
*[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]|}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{Music Videos}}
[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]

Revision as of 21:42, 1 August 2010

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