Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Sandbox 5"

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(point the first: why is there CP in this article?)
 
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{{Protip|There is a circle of hell specifically devoted to faggots who parrot this meme. This joke is no longer funny, so stop abusing it.}}
fucking fix these articles:


[[Image:Nochian notopher.gif|frame|right|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON!!]]
*[[Michael Snyder]]
[[File:JAELou2.jpg|thumb|IBA Chandler (right) with some unrelated fatass (left)]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]
*[[Get-Tar Region]]
*[[Mal-Wart]]
*[[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Power Rangers]]
*[[Mecha-Jerkops]]
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Kick the Autistic]]


'''Ian Brandon Anderson''' (born '''Issac Brandon Anderson''', 24 February [[1982]]) is a psychopathic [[troll]] who took delight in impersonating and slandering the good name of [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]. The existence of this impostor was not generally known until summer [[2009]], when he opened his own [[YouTube]] account, "'''IBAChandler'''", in direct opposition to the [[True and Honest]] Chris at [[CChanSonichuCWC]]. For the sake of clarity, the Sonichu [[fan base]] has come to refer to the real Chris as "[[Liquid Chris]]", while the impostor has been dubbed "Solid Chris".
do the stuff in the other sandboxes too


At first glance, the two men appear identical, attesting to the diabolical skill of the impostor. However, upon closer inspection, many differences become apparent, each subtle variation serving to establish Liquid as the [[TRUE and HONEST]] Chris-chan. For example, although Ian does indeed have [[heterochromia]], one of his eyes is blue and the other is BROWN, not GREEN. Also, while not easily seen by the untrained eye, Solid is considerably overweight. This is in stark contrast with [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|the slim, athletic, autistic hero]] depicted in the official [[Sonichu comic]]s. Finally, whereas Chris has spent a lifetime extolling the virtues of abstinence from [[alcohol]] and [[homos]]exuality, the impostor is a [[Chris's Big Night Out|heavy drinker]], and has admitted to [[Recycling|swallowing semen]].
Mailbag 18 for time paradox shit.


The extent of Ian's imposture may never truly be known, since it is difficult for historians to discern which footage depicts the real CWC or the fake. It is now believed that many of the actions that [[trolls]] once ascribed to the real Chris were in fact perpetrated by Ian posting videos in Chris's [[YouTube]] accounts. This has resulted in a reconciliation between Liquid and the trolls, as they have come to recognize Ian as a mutual threat.
--[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 03:15, 22 February 2012 (PST)
 
==Exposure==
 
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name          = C.W.C. Impostor is REVEALED <br> (True & Original Parents Discussed)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|LzlhLU27qJc}}
| Stardate      = 4 [[August 2009]]
| Maker          = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter  = {{Rumours|text}}
| Shirt          = {{BrownLiquidShirt|text}}
| Other          = The [[Solid Chris|fake Chris-chan]] is revealed to be none other<br/>than the evil Ian Brandon Anderson at 2:46.
| previous      = [[SingStar Challenge Round 3#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|Heaven]]
| next          = [[SingStar Challenge Round 4#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|Think Twice]]
}}
 
By [[June 2009]], the real Chris's reputation was in shambles, having been accused of receiving cybersex from young boys<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref> and distributing a video of himself copulating with a sex doll.<ref>[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]</ref> Perhaps letting this success go to his head, Ian Brandon Anderson became sloppy. He is believed to have hacked the CChanSonichu YouTube account on 5 [[June 2009]], posting a series of videos which suggested that Chris is [[gay]]. After pretending to be Chris "regaining" the account on 10 June, Ian began posting a series of videos apparently showing Chris experimenting with [[alcohol]]ic beverages (and risking death in a quick-crash second). The thought of Chris betraying his ideals to this degree raised serious doubts about the veracity of the videos, although an explanation defied the Sonichu fan base.
 
Finally, on 21 June 2009, the answers became clear when the real Chris returned to YouTube on a new account, CChanSonichuCWC. In his first video on this account, Liquid described having been absent from YouTube for a considerable time, leading fans to ask "if the real Chris hasn't been posting videos on CChanSonichu, who has?" The situation exploded on 3 [[July 2009]] when Liquid was finally made aware of the impostor usurping his old account. Although Solid's true identity had not been established, his existence was now out in the open, and true and loyal Sonichu fans would begin to spot the myriad of tiny imperfections in his disguise. 
 
Perhaps feeling this pressure, Ian [[The July 10th Messages|lashed out on 10 July]], causing the CChanSonichu account to be suspended altogether. It was at this point that Ian made his most fatal mistake, by not simply hacking into Liquid's YouTube but creating one of his own. Unable to contain his own hubris, the impostor could not help but to give a subtle clue with his new username: IBAChandler.
 
[[Image:Tgtdfw4.jpg|thumb|IBA and [[Liquid Chris]]]]
 
Seeking to destroy Liquid's reputation once and for all, Solid posted [[Rollin' and Trollin']] on 17 July, which claimed that the Christian Weston Chandler we all knew and loved had never really existed at all, and that it was all Solid playing a character to troll the loyal fan base. For the first time, fans saw the impostor in a new light—with a filthy beard, ill-fitting clothes which revealed his girth, and hideous tattoos along his arms—and realized that this man could not be Chris. Fans now flocked to CChanSonichuCWC, realizing that he was indeed the one.
 
His coup de grace having backfired, Ian posted [[CWC Trollin More]] on 19 July, claiming that the 17 July video had been a deception and that he really was what he had claimed to be. But by now it was too late.
 
==CWCivil War==
 
Using Liquid's announcement of official Sonichu merchandise for sale as a pretext, on [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|22 July]] Solid began to decry Liquid as the impostor. Of course, since Liquid really ''isn't'' the impostor, Solid was forced to use some extremely bizarre reasoning to prove his assertion, focusing primarily on the absurd claim that Liquid's beloved [[Sonichu medallion]] is made of paper. Solid also proceeded to leave inflammatory comments on Liquid's videos:
 
{{quote|"GIVE IT UP, Dumbass. YOU are Not Me, the Real CWC, and you Wish you Were. I Challenge you to Sow yourself in my Real Life Presence, O I can really give you a piece of my mind.
 
No Peace, Christian C."}}
 
{{Quote|"Hey, DUMBASS! YOU WISH YOU WERE ME! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!
 
I am Calling YOU OUT!
 
14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA BEFORE August 2, 2009. If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.
 
oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
 
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.
 
You are a Nerd and a Whimp!
 
Have a good day. Christopher Christian Weston Chandler"}}
 
Of course, this challenge is insincere on its face. Since Liquid ''lives'' at 14 Branchland Ct, there was nowhere for him to go, and nothing to force Solid to show up.
 
In their next confrontation on 26 July, Liquid announced the development of a Sonichu video game and the beginning of his relationship with [[Kacey]]. He also revealed crucial information he had uncovered about his hated doppleganger:
 
<blockquote>
It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON).
</blockquote>
 
Solid also [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|posted a video on 26 July]], apparently believing that showing a few printouts of Sonichu comics, which anyone can obtain, proves that he is the one who drew them. By now it was clear that Ian's modus operandi would be to attempt to prove his claims by demonstrating skills that the real Christian Weston Chandler also possessed. On 29 July Solid played ''[[CWC More Than A Feeling|Guitar Hero]]'' and spoke [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009#Addendum|in Spanish]]; Liquid responded by playing a real guitar and speaking four languages. Finally, in a dramatic demonstration, Ian [[Christian Weston Chandler - It Took Me Weeks to Perfect that Goatee, but it WILL Grow Back|shaved off his beard]], as if we would somehow forget that he had one in the first place.
 
<center>{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Denial: The Ian Brandon Anderson Story (trailer)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|iS42GGu2f2o}}
| Stardate      = 29 [[November 2009]]
| Maker          = [http://www.youtube.com/user/GodAndTheBearFilms GodAndTheBearFilms]
| Subject        = Ian Brandon Anderson
| Video Type    = Moch-Trailer
}}</center>
 
==Contact with Kacey==
 
While harassing Liquid, Ian attempted to manipulate his true sweetheart and future wife [[Kacey]]. [[Kacey Phone Call|Ian spoke to Kacey over the phone]], posing as Liquid. Of course, since Ian has perfected his impersonation, even Kacey was unable to tell who she was really speaking to, causing her to reveal mature honest content and endure Ian's disgusting sexual advances. Ian would also attempt to convince Kacey that he is the true Chris in [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|a video]], where he obviously spliced together footage of Liquid drawing Sonichu with footage of Solid holding up a printout of the same drawing. Ian has consistently shown affection toward Kacey, going so far as to suggest he can only tolerate Liquid out of respect for Kacey's feelings. It is evident that this is merely a ploy to make himself look like the bigger man and thereby seduce Kacey into becoming his Woman Slave.
 
==SingStar Challenge==
 
{{main|SingStar Challenge}}
 
Having clearly lost his nerve in the face of the true CWC, Ian Brandon Anderson issued a challenge to Liquid, in which they would each sing five songs and let a panel of six judges (chosen by the Chrises) determine the winner. The wisdom of this proposal was seriously questioned, as it is well known that the TRUE and HONEST Chris has the voice of an angel with a [[Sonichu_Girls#Chris.27s_Posts_on_Sonichu_Girls|Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor]]. Trolls and Sonichu fans alike considered the SingStar Challenge to be a referendum on the issue of who, indeed, is the real Chris-chan.
 
Halfway through the contest, it was already apparent that Liquid was winning. A visibly defeated Ian began appealing to Chris's famously deep spirituality, and requested that Liquid's final song be "Lift Up Your Eyes". However, Liquid, in a daring gambit, responded by forcing the impostor to sing "Smell Yo Dick". Ian resisted, but eventually sang the song perfectly, demonstrating that he cannot be the true Chris because he likes to smell men's dicks. In the aftermath of the contest, Solid has repeatedly insisted that there was never anything at stake, and that Liquid's overwhelming victory settled nothing.
 
==Shit just got real==
 
Immediately after Chris's announcement that he would be leaving YouTube to focus on the Sonichu media empire and his beloved fiance Kacey, a video was posted on his account in which Liquid is seen restrained in a filthy room while Ian Brandon Anderson taunts him. It is believed that, as of this writing, Ian has invaded 14 Branchland Ct., captured Chris, and gained access to Chris's YouTube account. Thus far, Ian's own YouTube account has shown no indication of these events, perhaps to establish a veil of plausible deniability.
 
As a result of Ian's kidnapping of Chris, it can be presumed that any further authentication Ian presents has been illegally obtained from Liquid's home. Future videos in which Ian holds up academic degrees, photo albums, and Sonichu artwork cannot be taken at face value, and should not be considered evidence that Ian Brandon Anderson is the real Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.
 
CWCki joins the rest of the Sonichu community in hoping for a speedy resolution to this nightmare, and offers their prayers for the safe return of Liquid Chris.
 
==LIQUID LIVES!==
 
On 15 October, a video was posted on Liquid's account, explaining how Ian kidnapped him, apparently raped while he was unconscious and left him for dead in the Sahara desert. However, being the butthurt retard he is, Ian soon after posted a video denying everything.
 
==Sauces==
<references />
 
{{The_Cwcivil_War_of_2009}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Anderson, Ian Brandon}}
[[Category:Liquid Saga]][[Category: Chris's alter egos]]

Latest revision as of 10:17, 24 April 2012

fucking fix these articles:

do the stuff in the other sandboxes too

Mailbag 18 for time paradox shit.

--Old meme 03:15, 22 February 2012 (PST)

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