Difference between revisions of "Template:Article of the now"

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[[Image:Thetugboatposter.jpg|200px|right]]
[[File:JoeBiden.jpg|200px|right]]


The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his {{w|Social Security Disability Insurance}} (SSDI) payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month. SSDI is part of a U.S. taxpayer-supported program to support financially those whose physical injures or [[Slow-in-the-minds|mental ailments]] prevent them from performing even minimum-wage work. Chris is known to have belonged to this system since at least [[2007]], before he was [[Chris in the media#Something Awful|discovered]] by the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]].
'''Joe Biden''' (born 20 November 1942) is the current president of the United States. He previously served as the vice president under president [[Barack Obama]] throughout his term from 2009 to 2017, and was later elected president in the 2020 election, unseating then-incumbent president [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]]. He became the 46th American president on 20 [[January 2021]] instead of [[The Simpsons|Lisa Simpson]], who [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] voted for and believes will become POTUS after the [[Dimensional Merge]] occurs (although he's more than happy to be rid of Trump). Chris was once hopeful that Biden would pardon him following [[Incest Arrest|his arrest for incest]].


Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check is not need-based, but is awarded on eligibility alone. Most US Americans have to work a decade to qualify. Chris, on the other hand, has only been employed for six months (three at [[Wendy's]], three in a [[Cutco|pyramid scheme]]). However, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] earned retirement insurance in his years at General Electric, and Social Security also lets retirees' dependent disabled children get payments, even if they have never worked themselves, so long as they were disabled before turning 22. As long as Chris earns less than $1220 a month, and stays unmarried and [[Chris and the law|out of prison]], he will continue to receive his monthly tugboat unimpeded.
('''[[Joe Biden|More...]]''')
 
('''[[Monthly Tugboat|More...]]''')

Revision as of 23:57, 18 February 2024

JoeBiden.jpg

Joe Biden (born 20 November 1942) is the current president of the United States. He previously served as the vice president under president Barack Obama throughout his term from 2009 to 2017, and was later elected president in the 2020 election, unseating then-incumbent president Donald Trump. He became the 46th American president on 20 January 2021 instead of Lisa Simpson, who Chris voted for and believes will become POTUS after the Dimensional Merge occurs (although he's more than happy to be rid of Trump). Chris was once hopeful that Biden would pardon him following his arrest for incest.

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