ShecameforCWC.JPG

It's like the Mona Lisa of Fail.

“	And by the way, that is not Crystal whose eyes are censored, that is Megan!	”
Chris, Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008

ShecameforCWC.JPG is a Rule 34 Chris drew as part of a campaign to fight ED by "replacing negativity with positivity". Arguably the most controversial of all of Chris's artistic canon, and this single image managed to invoke such drama and ruin the closest relationship with a person he ever had, his friendship with Megan.

At first, people believed the picture to be of his imaginary twin sister Crystal Weston Chandler, until Chris angrily decried these scurrilous rumors in an internet video, shouting that it was Megan. While this is less disturbing than Chris wanting to fuck his own fictitious twin sister, it is notably creepy that it is of his best friend with whom he had no sexual relationship.

Background

When Chris first discovered the ED page, he was disturbed by the number of pickles on the site. Using his powers of autistic logic, Chris decided that the best response would be to replace these images with images of things that don't make Chris question his sexuality Chris likes, hence "replacing negativity with positivity."

On 11 November 2007, Chris uploaded several new, original images to ED, including ShecameforCWC.jpg. All were varying degrees of horrifying, but ShecameforCWC proved to be the most controversial, leaving trolls in total shock.

Analysis

Anatomy analysis

The drawing fails in so many ways that it manages to capture the true essence of fail that is Chris:

• The artistic skills of an eight year old

• Depth and perception; proportion are nonexistent. She looks as flat as paper.

• A complete unfamiliarity with the female anatomy (the vagina is not one long hole and you could never do that sort of thing with a real vagina, looking like that).

• Unfamiliarity with human anatomy in general. Megan's legs seem to start right at the groin while her hips are directly behind them. Her right hand seems to be permanently stuck doing the Vulcan hand signal from Star Trek. Also, it looks like neither Chris nor Megan have elbows, joints or even bones for that matter. What is supposed to be her foot looks like a deformed flipper.

• Megan's right nipple looks at first to be a sixth finger, suggesting that Chris messed up (more than usual) while drawing the hand and decided to turn it into a nipple.

• The vagina in question appears to be either glowing or shooting out a powerful gust of wind. Chris probably meant to convey that Megan was "wet" and/or "squirting", but due to his own stupidity he drew her "cum" around and outside the vagina instead of coming from inside it, leading to the "Glowing Ethereal Cunt of All Ages" effect shown in the picture.

• Megan's pubic hair, which was probably supposed to be a landing strip (a near ubiquitous hair cut in porn), in this drawing bears a slight resemblance to Hitler's mustache, which is semi-ironic considering her one-time fetish for German soldiers. Of course Chris wouldn't realize this.

• Close attention to the parts that interest Chris, namely genitalia and breasts, yet a tiny head he had to squeeze in, most likely because he started with the former and realized "Oh, she needs a face."

• In contrast, Chris pays close attention to making sure he's wearing his Medallion of Fail in the scene, his eyes are fucking different colors, etc.

• Not only a retarded pun, a reinforcement of Chris's narcissism, that when a woman orgasms, it's for his sake and not her own pleasure (as he titled it "ShecameForCWC", emphasis added). Plus, a smug look on his face as he gives a thumbs up while fingering her seals the deal.

• He's wearing his fucking medallion while having sex with a woman. He stated that ideally, he'd like to be wearing his medallion for his first time.

• The fact that this is his best and only friend, Megan, and he sees nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it's on the internet where she can see it.

Drama

With ED

When Chris first uploaded the image to ED, he captioned it "Your sister has cum for me." Apparently this was his idea of a stinging jab at his tormentors. However, it had the unintended effect of leading ED's users to widely conclude that the picture represented Chris's sister, the fictitious character Crystal. Given the nature of Chris’s artwork, it was an easy mistake to make.

Over the next few months, the image became one of many footballs in the simmering edit war between Chris and ED. It was removed and replaced a few times, but didn’t become a serious hot potato until March 2008, when Megan discovered the picture and (more important) discovered that it was meant to be a picture of her. (Chris, not realizing that it would probably be better to cut his losses and let the trolls believe that he wanted to screw his imaginary sister, spilled the beans himself.) In between bombarding Megan with apologies via e-mail, he went on a desperate campaign to remove the image from his ED page.

Unsurprisingly, this failed, but not until after Chris spent most of a week trying to remove the image, trying to delete references to Megan from the article, trying to replace the image with a cropped version, trying to erase random bits of the article in order to camouflage his real intentions, and otherwise failing to realize that once something goes up on a wiki, you can’t make it come back down. ED admins quickly reverted his edits and eventually protected the page once it was obvious that Chris was up to something.

On 18 March, Chris admitted defeat in his own disturbing way, and edited the image’s caption – as well as several other captions around the article – to make it clear that the woman depicted is Megan, not Crystal. Over the next few days, he made a number of other self-deprecating and self-pitying changes and additions to the page, including the "You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!" series of images, before giving up on editing ED for six months.

With Megan

In the early spring of 2008, Chris’s relationship with Megan had gone relatively smoothly for some time. However, on 4 March, she sent him a seemingly innocuous message, sharing some friendly news...and also asking that Chris remove any references to her from his websites.

By 12 March, Megan had discovered the full extent of what Chris had written and drawn about her around the Internet, and particularly the fact that she'd starred in his cartoon fantasy porn. (At some point, according to Mimms and Lucas, the image was also discovered by Megan's fellow customers at the Game Place.) While failing to get the image off the ED page over the next several days, Chris sent her a series of messages trying to put out the fire.

Some of his attempts to "explain" the image to Megan are downright bizarre. It's hard to do justice to the original e-mails. At one point he seemed to think Megan was offended because she didn't understand the act on display, and went off on a frighteningly awkward explanation of what a handjob is. In another e-mail, Chris confirmed the suspicion of many trolls – that he had entertained thoughts of sexually assaulting Megan.

“	If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac...	”
Chris, e-mail to Megan, 18 March 2008

Generally, Chris's "apologies" are a classic display of his insensitivity and awesome narcissism in action. He shows relatively little remorse for actually creating the image and offers plenty of woe-is-me whining about the bullies from ED. In another message from 18 March, he actually has the gall to tell Megan that no matter how bad she might be feeling, he himself has definitely got it worse.

After sending several messages and receiving very little in the way of response from Megan, Chris appears to have given up on winning back her trust, which coincides with the slackening of his campaign to remove the image from ED, and the increasingly self-hating tone of his edits there. On 23 March, she finally sent him two brief replies to the effect of "leave me alone." Those mark the end of the active drama over the image. Chris stopped editing ED around the same time.

As a coda to the fiasco, Chris tried once more to repair their relationship about a month later, sending a message with a mix of everyday news and creepy stalkerish longing. Given some time to consider the implications of his earlier messages, especially the parts where he brought up the prospect of raping her, Megan slammed the door shut, saying "I'm afraid I can't trust you anymore." That remains their last known communication.

Today

Christian's remorse turned out, not surprisingly, to be fake as he went and reuploaded the picture for his sleazy Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack, citing the fact he needed "sexy images".

The pain he caused a female friend means nothing compared to his lust for e-fame.

See also

• CWCRockin4Way.jpg - Chris graduates from a handjob to an all-out rockstar orgy